Husband drunk

[ladymary78]

I've just got in from a night out and found my husband drunk on the sofa. I'm really upset - our children were in bed and he was supposed to be looking after them. Am I being unreasonable?

YABU having a few whiskies when the kids are in bed is a very normal thing to do on a Friday night.

So you never have a couple of glasses of wine together once the kids are in bed? Yabvu...

Yabu, whilst he won't be winning parent of the year, being merry with kids of that age is not a big issue (if he was in charge of a baby/toddler who needs feeding and carrying about that is different). Pretty sure many parents have alcohol, as long as they are capable in an emergency it's fine, it doesn't sound like he's actually drunk, just tipsy

@MsTSwift I discovered this is the downside to living in a lovely little town, 40 mins to a&e! (Stupid 20mph speed limits, ambulance would take 25 ish)

I’d be furious but we have always had the rule of no drinking if sole care and one not drinking if both home.

There’s rarely any alcohol in the house though so doesn’t really come up.

DH and I shared a bottle of wine last night, should we not have done then, incase the kids woke up..?

I’m a lone parent. Should I never have a glass or wine or two just in case? Despite the fact I could easily manage to phone a taxi or ambulance?

Yeah I think he should have abstained just that one night as he knew you were out.

So single parents should never have a drink then?

Goodness this place is crazy sometimes.

DH and I used to drink together of an evening, sometimes in the house and sometimes we got a sitter, went for a meal and drinks and returned home 'tipsy'. Do you all never drink with your partners

This wouldn’t bother me. If he was flat out drunk I’d be annoyed. As long as he wasn’t drunk drunk.

Do you never both drink at the same time? If you were having a bbq in the sun, would one of you have to stay sober in case of emergencies? Sounds like a very formal and restrictive way to live to me.

I know loads of people who drink a bottle of wine at home whilst their children are in bed? Are they unreasonable too?

I assume that most of those who’re saying it’s fine to drink while looking after small children don’t drink drive.

If you accept that drinking may affect your judgement such that driving isn’t a good idea, then why do you think that drink would not affect your judgement when caring for children?

I find this unbearably controlling. You went out. He has a few drinks on the sofa. It's totally unacceptable to be annoyed. The chances of an emergency are close to 1 per cent in this context. If the absolute worst happened he could call a taxi to take himself and the kids to a and e.

In what other ways are you controlling towards him in your relationship?

How else does your anxiety interfere with your life?

I think you’re over reacting. I can tell you, as someone who has raised my kids alone, that in the event of an emergency, someone who has had ‘a couple of drinks’ sobers up PDQ.

It doesn’t sound like he was shitfaced and incapable.

Just drop it OP. Don't have a go at him. A couple of drinks on a Friday night, start of the long weekend. It's too much being on duty constantly and worrying about the what it's

4 and 6 they can tell him if there’s a problem. If the children were babies/toddlers then that’s an issue. Or if he accidental fell asleep drunk with a baby on a sofa. But that age is fine.
Plenty of parents attend a wedding for e.g with kids that age and both drink!

Also, what are all these common catastrophic emergencies that are suddenly happening to children all the time?
In 10 cumulative years of parenting, I’ve never had anything beyond administering calpol.
I know things happen, but the sort of event that requires emerging hospital admission is very very rare and taxis/ambulances can be called if that very very rare event happens.
To never drink because every night you imagine something catastrophic is about to happen is a strange way to live life!

I wouldn't like it OP, I'd be annoyed that someone couldn't manage one evening without drinking.

I'm strictly teetotal though.

@zukiecat

I wouldn't like it OP, I'd be annoyed that someone couldn't manage one evening without drinking.

I'm strictly teetotal though.

I have looked and looked but I cannot see anywhere that OP says he drinks every night.

The amount of people on here declaring their absolute right to be impaired by alcohol while responsible for their children is ridiculous. The culture of alcohol dependency in this country needs addressing. Why exactly does anyone NEED to drink alone in their own home anyway? When did this become the norm?
It's irrelevant that you are probably capable of dealing with an emergency if necessary (maybe, maybe not) it IS irresponsible and you all know you wouldn't get away with "just a few bevvies" at work. Why is looking after your kids less important to you?
I guess I just don't get it.

I've had to do a dash to the hospital in the night with DS when he was a baby and DH was out of the house. The paramedics came to the house and suggested he needed to go to hospital to make sure he was ok. They said they could take us but wouldn't be able to bring us home and did I have means of getting home.

Luckily I hadn't had a drink so was able to take him. I always made sure I was never over the limit when on my own with him. Funnily enough I don't when DH is around and DH has had a drink too. Felt different when I was on my own with him.

The amount of people on here declaring their absolute right to be impaired by alcohol while responsible for their children is ridiculous.

Get a grip will you.

Having a few drinks and being too 'impaired' to be responsible are 2 very different things.

you wouldn't get away with "just a few bevvies" at work. Why is looking after your kids less important to you?

I wouldn't get away with a few bevvies at work but I would absolutely still be able to do my job so your comparison is invalid.