I’ve had enough of the class dojo

[Myleftfoot39]

Every week one or two children win the dojo and get a prize. Some children have won it twice or three times. Today a child who defaced another child’s clothing (had written all over it in class) won it (they are in Year 2).

My ds is quiet, well behaved and works really hard. Does all his homework, is reading and writing and working hard. It’s awful but today he came out of school crying his eyes out because he thought he might win the dojo.

Even at bedtime he was upset about it.He doesn’t understand why the naughty kids get rewards but he feels ‘invisible’. He said there’s something wrong with him and is very upset.

I have reassured him and told him the dojo doesn’t matter but it really does matter to him. The teacher makes a big deal out of giving the dojo out as theres a photo of the child on the dojo for all to see.

I’m really fed up of it!!

@MrsGee20

This thread has made me feel really sad as a primary school teacher. I just want to leave this here:

@MrsGee20 what about this other boy struggling with the work and emotionally? It sounds like this teacher is playing favorites which is the opposite of fair (which doesn’t mean equal, I know) - it’s not just the naughty kids being rewarded. I’d talk to the head and look at moving schools if it’s the same teacher next year.

@duckme

I'm afraid it's the way it is. If a child just keeps their nose down, gets on with the work, causes no problems, or isn't a huge character, they will get overlooked. The children who are usually problematic, can have a good day and will (quite rightly) get rewarded for a good day. But the child who has a good day everyday, but hasn't caught the attention of the teacher (good or bad) will not get noticed.

I really think this is worth getting back to.

If the dojo is seen as the cool reward, where does that leave those just getting on with school for whatever reason.

SEN or not, I expect both parents and teachers to want/wish to reach full potential for as many as possible. Not a race after the lowest common denominator.

[quote lazystar]@fourminutestosavetheworld
Your doing a fantastic job and I totally agree.
Other parents cannot possibly know or judge other children, and neither is it their place to.[/quote]
Very kind, thank you.

Yeah this annoyingly happens a lot at our school. They seem to reward the little shit kids if they behave for 20 minutes 🙄 My niece is an excellent student, her teacher cant say enough good about her. Shes 9 and has a reading age of 16 years and 8 months according to her reading test and hasnt won a thing this school year. The child that is bullying her won the reward the week he swore in the teachers face and smashed the class window. My Daughter gets upset too but there is nothing you can say to make them feel better, they arent daft and they see whats happening. I just tell my daughters their hard work will be rewarded when they are older and although awards are nice, they mean little in the grand scheme of things. They get rewards at home too. Im sure your sons hard work will pay off too.

"If the dojo is seen as the cool reward, where does that leave those just getting on with school for whatever reason."

I think this is a fair point. This thread has really made me analyse my practice. I always thought I was fair because everyone gets the weekly award at some point in the year and there are so many other rewards, but I can see now that the weekly award is the biggie and kids are sad if they have to wait for it.

If I am absolutely honest, there is a cohort of kids who are perfectly well behaved and hard working but never push themselves or stand out. If I ask for volunteers to do a job, they don't. If I set optional tasks or homework, they don't do them. If their partner is struggling, they leave them to it. They are good students, but it is hard to catch them doing something wow or worthy of reward. In my class, they probably get the weekly award in the last term. Any ideas what I can do to encourage them to push themselves a bit, have a go at something challenging, not just coast along doing their own 'minimal effort'?

@waitingforthenextseason
Good response, no parent can make a decision on what is right for another child. There seems to be little regard for other children on this post, just lots of parents agreeing with each other that their little one is more deserving than another.
Just because the parents posting make up a majority in their support for each other doesnt make it right.

Any ideas what I can do to encourage them to push themselves a bit, have a go at something challenging, not just coast along doing their own 'minimal effort'

I'm oold with adult dc and even worse in a different country, so ignore at your pleasure .

But could you try to revert the quote a little? Those keeping their heads down might do it to avoid confrontation with the tougher (more outspoken) ones, perhaps it's not in them to push and perhaps coasting along is a coping mecanism, because I'm pretty sure few teachers have the capacity to coach being assertive and sticking your head out in a tough class environment.

I'm sorry to sound harsh, but it really annoys me that the outspoken ones get all the time (because you have to) but the rest is expected to know how to themselves and left to their own coping mecanisms because they are quiet, shy and 'coasting' along.

"They seem to reward the little shit kids if they behave for 20 minutes."

Has the apple fallen very far from the tree? If your niece exhibits this sort of empathy it might explain why she isn't rewarded very often.

"I'm oold with adult dc and even worse in a different country, so ignore at your pleasure ."

I won't ignore as you make a fair point. I don't think my class is particularly tough though, they're a lovely bunch. Interesting that 'coasting' could be as much as they can do though. I try to notice those children being extra kind to a friend, doing a bit extra at home, really pushing themselves in a piece of writing, but so often it really is 'just enough to not be in trouble.' Whatever the minimum expectation is, that's what they'll do. On Friday, we did clay modelling. I asked them to do 'at least two' jobs (out of a possible 5) on the board. The children I have in mind did two and then 'I'm done.' Maybe my expectations of them are too high. I'll give it some thought, thank you.

What I'm trying to say is that those children need to be taught those particular skills too. Being helpful, daring, more outspoken. You say your class is nice, but to them the 'naughty' ones can be very intimidating.

If you say 'two' they think 'I've done two, fulfilled my quota, done as told, will not get into trouble'. At no point do they think/or even dare go over concept. Perhaps their memory is of one child making 30 mashed up ones smeared over the table being told off. And that's the last thing they want.

In the best of all world's you should spend just as much time teaching them the skills they lack, as the time you spend on those who cannot be ignored.

And with regards to 'minimal effort', there is a lazy one or two everywhere, but I really think it shows how you perceive the not so boisterous, and maybe start there.

"In the best of all world's you should spend just as much time teaching them the skills they lack, as the time you spend on those who cannot be ignored."

You are quite right.

No shes a lovely polite child thank you very much, she works hard tries her best, volunteers to help and is party of the buddy scheme to help others who may be having problems. I hate to see the bullies get everything. He calls her a whale and tells her shes ugly, why should that get praise? She isnt the only child he bullies and hes awful to the teacher too. Im sure you can see why hes 'a little shit'.

Surely you can understand the concept that its NOT right to call a child a little shit ?

I'm sorry @fourminutestosavetheworld i know you are doing your best and trying to improve techniques and that's recommendable , it's just a subject close to my heart.

If you have sympathy for the boisterous, have emphaty for the shy .

" I hate to see the bullies get everything. He calls her a whale and tells her shes ugly, why should that get praise?"

He won't be getting praise for being offensive to your niece. Of course, that's unacceptable and appalling. I think you have to accept that the school are trying to
notice when he uses strategies to regulate, or when he displays a period of good behaviour, or when they see him doing the 'right' thing and show him that that effort pays dividends. We are mainstream schools, taking all children and trying to educate and do right by them all.

@fourminutestosavetheworld

No this is what I said :

"If you can't answer simple questions from a fellow professional you're in the wrong job."

When you got cross about me asking questions.

Explain where I once said I was cross about you asking questions! I said you were wrong to be judgemental about decisions I make in my classroom! Anyway I’m enjoying the sunshine too much to continue with this charade! Enjoy your half term!!

"If you have sympathy for the boisterous, have emphaty for the shy."

I think I do. I must try to do better. I really do appreciate your thoughts on it.

I have a DC with sen and ft 1:1. His 1:1 gives him.stickers each day depending on the kind of day he has had - will try hard for stickers. I'd hate to think everyone else in his class hates him for getting his stickers.

"Explain where I once said I was cross about you asking questions! I said you were wrong to be judgemental about decisions I make in my classroom! Anyway I’m enjoying the sunshine too much to continue with this charade! Enjoy your half term!!"

You didn't say the words 'I am cross' but I inferred it from your words and shouty exclamation marks at the end of every sentence.

And I wasn't wrong to be judgmental because at no point was I judgmental.

I asked a couple of questions.

I repeated some of the criticism levelled at such strategies by some parents on this thread.

Maybe I should have said 'after pages of debate and over 300 comments you have unilaterally solved the conundrum of how to implement a completely fair reward system yay!'

Why do you keep flouncing off to enjoy half term and then coming back?

I wasn’t wrong to be judgemental 😂😂. But I wasn’t judgemental! I love this so funny @fourminutestosavetheworld both patronising and also contradictory!

I’ve not once ‘flounced off’ to enjoy half term. I’m trying to be nice but I feel like that element has been lost on you. I’m sorry I haven’t spent the time reading through 15+ pages of thread, it has been my birthday weekend! Apologies!

Sorry 14+

@Supergirl1958

I wasn’t wrong to be judgemental 😂😂. But I wasn’t judgemental! I love this so funny *@fourminutestosavetheworld* both patronising and also contradictory!

I’ve not once ‘flounced off’ to enjoy half term. I’m trying to be nice but I feel like that element has been lost on you. I’m sorry I haven’t spent the time reading through 15+ pages of thread, it has been my birthday weekend! Apologies!

Is there something wrong with your comprehension skills?

What you are laughing your head off at makes perfect sense to people who can read.

Beginning to think you are not actually a teacher.

No you haven't rtft, or you'd see that I'm a teacher who has spent the thread defending teachers, schools, many of the strategies you use in your classroom (but think I'm criticising) and SEN children (that you again inaccurately told me off for criticising).

I do so hope that you are! Finally! Enjoying! Half! Term! Now!

Maybe little shit was a bit harsh but all kids deserve that tag at times! My own are pushing my buttons today and they are definately little shits today 😂 all im saying is where its fine to reward them when they are behaving well and so they should be, it can be upsetting to children who never get anything despite doing everything right. It definitely hurts my niece when she tries so had and is always perfectly behaved. My nephew is a confirmed little shit and has also had zero rewards so its not even consistent! Id much rather they just gave out the weekly maths and english awards, my daughter wouldnt get one often but it would feel like more of an achievement when she did and would be a huge confidence boost too. At the end of the day though, nobody is going to ask you later in life how many times you were dojo champion but it can feel like it is the most important thing when you are small!

@fourminutestosavetheworld

"If the dojo is seen as the cool reward, where does that leave those just getting on with school for whatever reason."

I think this is a fair point. This thread has really made me analyse my practice. I always thought I was fair because everyone gets the weekly award at some point in the year and there are so many other rewards, but I can see now that the weekly award is the biggie and kids are sad if they have to wait for it.

If I am absolutely honest, there is a cohort of kids who are perfectly well behaved and hard working but never push themselves or stand out. If I ask for volunteers to do a job, they don't. If I set optional tasks or homework, they don't do them. If their partner is struggling, they leave them to it. They are good students, but it is hard to catch them doing something wow or worthy of reward. In my class, they probably get the weekly award in the last term. Any ideas what I can do to encourage them to push themselves a bit, have a go at something challenging, not just coast along doing their own 'minimal effort'?

Being brave is difficult for some kids (not all are impulsive) and quiet people are likely to do it away from the gaze of others. Is it possible that these quiet kids give space to the person next to them because that's what they'd like if they were upset or have experience of the upset person reacting badly to the question whether or not they are okay and you didn't see that bit? Ime being quiet and thoughtful is considered inferior to being loud and extroverted by many teachers when it's not necessarily so.

One of my kids would never volunteer but if you asked him, he'd happily oblige and do a good job. In his eyes the people with their hands up want to do it more so you should pick them because it would make them happier than if you pick him.

@fourminutestosavetheworld
Ime quiet kids are often sat next to the chatty extroverts as they are seen as role models able to tolerate the other kid longer and not complain and if you're quiet they are the hardest kind of person to approach because it's hard to guess how they'd react.

If you want to set up situations where quiet kids might go out of their comfort zones it needs to be with kids who are more quiet too and less likely to have a big reaction like laugh if they screw up.