I Don’t Get the Feels, I Cringe and Recoil

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

And I feel a bit odd 😅

It’s sort of come to my attention since being pregnant that the things I’m supposed to find all lovely and warm and nice just make make me cringe and recoil. I have always been like this a bit but there is so much cringy language and things around babies. (Bubba= shivers)

It’s not just about babies obviously because I hate all the Live, Life, Laugh stuff in general, but a few weeks ago my husband and I went to a private scan place (only reason being at the time I thought he wouldn’t be allowed in the twenty week NHS one)

Firstly they try and flog you the gender reveal cannon things but also a teddy bear you can put a heartbeat inside, like at the Build a Bear Factory, obviously we just said no to to all that, but when I went into the scan room they were playing that music from Beauty and the Beast where Belle notices the rose in a glass cloche and is all transfixed. This changed to an upbeat Moana tune shortly after, then ‘I can show you the world’ from Aladdin

I couldn’t help thinking that what on earth do they do if they find something wrong with the baby- cut the music or put on one of the sad Disney songs? Is there a sad Disney song?

I felt like I was supposed to be transfixed and misty eyed at the wonder of it but really just wanted to know all was as it should be and I didn’t need bloody Disney songs in my head all day.

A part of me thinks I’d love to get ‘the feels’ that people talk about from various things but I’m not easily moved in general (apart from maybe those awful donkey charity adverts where they have open sores from pulling carts and then they show the rescued ones running around in a field in Devon)

Other people are like this too I’m sure. Has anyone got any other examples of things that should make you warm and fuzzy and you just thing...bleaugh!

Oh god 😂 that scan place sounds ridiculous!

All the stuff you've described would make me cringe too.

I'm now so glad I've never had a private scan!

Conception, pregnancy, childbirth and babies are amazing enough without needing to Disnefy them.

So very, very much like that. My OH is a romantic, and we are talking about getting engaged. He would love to go all out and surprise me with a romantic proposal, flowers, restaurants, rings, tears, instead we are discussing who can look after the toddler so we can go to the local high street together to pick a ring 😁

What the fuck... that place sounds bonkers! I think it would make me want to die of second hand embarrassment!

I honestly think id die laughing at the music in that waiting room. How naff .

Those donkeys least you are not broken, only a broken person wouldn't care about the donkeys.

As for the other stuff, slightly concerned about all the detail regards the beauty and the beast song! But no completely normal for functioning adults imo.
Aside, Tui have taken to describing the holiday restaurants as places where 'you can munch' honestly I stopped reading and booked elsewhere.

Wait till you hit menopause and that sea of oestrogen dries up - you will lose your bullshit filter like never before!!!! Laughing with you, it does sound rather comical and overdone :)

Just thought to add, I had a private scan during the pandemic because my partner wasn't allowed to any of my NHS scans... the private scan was matter of fact and we found out the sex too. It felt like an NHS scan except the scan was much longer so we were able to see the scan in more detail.

There's a huge spectrum of 'normal' emotional response to life events, Disney songs and donkey adverts. And from what you are saying, you fall well within that spectrum. Nothing odd about it at all.

I'm a psychologist and I'm not especially demonstrative, emotional or sentimental. Other of my colleagues are much more emotionally attuned than I am. My way is better in some circumstances (I've worked with some very challenging situations, not to mention my son being gravely ill, and it's kept me on the level) and their way is in others. It's all fine.

And in answer to your question about any other examples, everyone else seems to love that bloody mole. The one with the horse and the boy. Either that or he actively hijacks the Facebook pages of otherwise rational friends. As my Bubbe (granny) would have said... 'unremitting schmaltz'.

Omg no that’s all way too cringey for words!!

You’re not odd at all, you’re quite normal.

@Newfluff unfortunately I know too much about the various Disney films, certainly more that I’d like, because I’m a nanny and most of them are seared onto my brain. I’ve even taken my charges to Disneyland Paris. It is not a magical place.

@romdowa the music was in the actual scan room- the assistant to the sonographer hit it just as the ultrasound thing made contact 😂

I honestly don’t know anyone who would like that. Maybe they’re on the wrong side of the emotional spectrum?

Smidgeon I wonder if you can claim compensation from your employers for psychological damage?

My GP once referred that being pregnant was like hosting a parasite and that they suck the life out of you. (I had horrible morning sickness and was worried I wasn’t getting enough nutrients)
Weirdly that reference helped rather that all of the fluff.

That scan thing is ridiculous! What if it had been bad news??

I remember having my 12 week scan with a very grump sonographer (?) who was clearly put out by the sheer audacity of me attending my appointment.

At the end of it (while I was still lying down), she barked "Bear or duck?" At me. I said "sorry?" "Bear or duck?" I squinted round, and she was holding up two cards to choose from - obviously for the presentation of the sonogram picture.

I think we went duck.... the opposite of the Disney experience 😂

The Disney tunes would of killed me. (Unless it was the Moana “your welcome” song then it would of been funny)
Maybe whale song could of been slightly worse?

Op, I cry at most things. Can even cry at an advert and your scan description made even me throw up a little!

OMG that is the tackiest thing ever, whoever thought of that deserves be shot
i would have wet myself laughing
congratulations by the way

OP you sound like me. I adore DS and think he's the most incredible human that ever was. Also loved being pregnant, had a good birth experience etc. But IME pregnancy, birth and parenthood are largely a series of quite pragmatic decisions and all the saccharine, cliched trimmings don't really add anything and make me feel a bit foolish
As an aside, if you have an aversion to cringey baby jargon, you might like Janet Lansbury's stuff. There's more to her than just not talking like an imbecile of course, but it all sort of goes hand in hand.

@LeafBeetle

I'm now so glad I've never had a private scan!

They’re definitely NOT all like that! I had a couple of private scans as I also wasn’t sure DH would be allowed into the NHS ones.

They were utterly professional, no trying to flog you “gender” tat and certainly no Disney shit.

That sounds hilarious!!

I’m with you Op. Apart from the Specsavers advert with the Crofter and his poor, shorn dog...

@Lobelia123

Wait till you hit menopause and that sea of oestrogen dries up - you will lose your bullshit filter like never before!!!! Laughing with you, it does sound rather comical and overdone :)

Oh god, I don’t think I have any margin spare to get any less tolerant of the twee. I’ll obviously have to become a complete battleaxe and general curmudgeon.