I Don’t Get the Feels, I Cringe and Recoil

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

And I feel a bit odd 😅

It’s sort of come to my attention since being pregnant that the things I’m supposed to find all lovely and warm and nice just make make me cringe and recoil. I have always been like this a bit but there is so much cringy language and things around babies. (Bubba= shivers)

It’s not just about babies obviously because I hate all the Live, Life, Laugh stuff in general, but a few weeks ago my husband and I went to a private scan place (only reason being at the time I thought he wouldn’t be allowed in the twenty week NHS one)

Firstly they try and flog you the gender reveal cannon things but also a teddy bear you can put a heartbeat inside, like at the Build a Bear Factory, obviously we just said no to to all that, but when I went into the scan room they were playing that music from Beauty and the Beast where Belle notices the rose in a glass cloche and is all transfixed. This changed to an upbeat Moana tune shortly after, then ‘I can show you the world’ from Aladdin

I couldn’t help thinking that what on earth do they do if they find something wrong with the baby- cut the music or put on one of the sad Disney songs? Is there a sad Disney song?

I felt like I was supposed to be transfixed and misty eyed at the wonder of it but really just wanted to know all was as it should be and I didn’t need bloody Disney songs in my head all day.

A part of me thinks I’d love to get ‘the feels’ that people talk about from various things but I’m not easily moved in general (apart from maybe those awful donkey charity adverts where they have open sores from pulling carts and then they show the rescued ones running around in a field in Devon)

Other people are like this too I’m sure. Has anyone got any other examples of things that should make you warm and fuzzy and you just thing...bleaugh!

[quote SmidgenofaPigeon]@Newfluff unfortunately I know too much about the various Disney films, certainly more that I’d like, because I’m a nanny and most of them are seared onto my brain. I’ve even taken my charges to Disneyland Paris. It is not a magical place.

@romdowa the music was in the actual scan room- the assistant to the sonographer hit it just as the ultrasound thing made contact 😂[/quote]
I wonder if they get many complaints? Did you say anything?

Just people saying “little one” or “sibset” makes me itch. Disney sonography would have brought me out in hives.

Anything Disney gives me the rage. And anyone who DOESN'T get emosh over the donkey adverts is dead inside.

Furthermore, 'gender reveal' anything is a disease of the modern age and, I firmly believe, an industry created by OK! Magazine so the basics (twats off reality shows and footballers wives, mainly) could have something to sell to certain sections of the public who similarly aspire to having a "career" that requires no talent, intelligence or a functioning sense of self-awareness.

As you were.

I have been to private scan places too and did notice the canon and bears however they were just sitting on reception with a price list beside. No one mentioned them
No music either, that does sound a bit weird.
Bit I don't see the issue of someone did want to buy a bear with a heartbeat, in fact imagine if something happened resulting in the baby dying, maybe it would be a lovely keepsake to have your baby's heartbeat forever?

I dunno, you sound very judgemental over something that's not very significant. You aren't being forced to like all that stuff...
I do agree with your point about the music being in bad taste of something was wrong on looking at the scan.

And you could also just give them feedback to say music is unnecessary?

Did you get scanned in Speke, Liverpool? Window to the Womb? Exact same music at my scan place 😂 (I love that tune from Beauty and the Beast though)

@Meirou90 it was WTTW.... but not in Liverpool!

[quote SmidgenofaPigeon]@Newfluff unfortunately I know too much about the various Disney films, certainly more that I’d like, because I’m a nanny and most of them are seared onto my brain. I’ve even taken my charges to Disneyland Paris. It is not a magical place.

@romdowa the music was in the actual scan room- the assistant to the sonographer hit it just as the ultrasound thing made contact 😂[/quote]
ahahahaha god i’d have pissed myself laughing. But also probably got a bit sad that people think a moment like that needs some cheesy soundtrack to it.

Well, your first mistake was entering anywhere named "Window to the Womb".

Blerg.

WTF?! It would have taken all I had not to burst out laughing 😑

Referring to it all as a 'miracle'. It's not. It's a biological process.

@GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou

Well, your first mistake was entering anywhere named "Window to the Womb".

Blerg.

I chuckled out loud to this

Yes 'Window to the Womb' makes me feel slightly nauseous TBH. I think the name is a clue that it's going to be all kinds of twee in there.

Back in 1999 I got a blurry black and white blob picture and was quite happy with it.

That scan experience sounds cringe af tbf. I'm actually sat picturing the scene in my head and cringing.

I never get it when people brag on facebook about their partners "sobbing with joy" at scans like it makes them a better dad or something. Me and my partner never got emotional at scans, I was ofc beyond relieved that there was nothing wrong each time we went but I never felt any urge to cry and I'm glad he didn't either!

Tbh I didn't even get that rush of emotion people talk of when she was born either, It was all very surreal having a tiny purple human pulled out of me and dumped on my stomach.

Oh and when we got married we laughed so much during our vows we had to repeat them. I was so glad when it was over. So don't worry it isn't just you! I hate all that showy crap.

@sar302 I laughed out loud at the bear or duck part

I for one (after having a stillbirth) would've loved a heartbeat bear. Doesn't make me cringe at all.

I think they're just trying to set the scene & how magical it is being pregnant etc.
However, some of the stuff you mentioned is definitely cringe worthy. I think gender reveals are cringy for sure.

@AGirlsGotToDo of course it’s understandable that you would have loved to have had a recording of your baby’s heartbeat. And of course that doesn’t make you cringey.

I’d actually missed that bit in the OP so I was commenting on the Disney songs and overall twee-ness and general mawkishness of the ‘experience’ not that specific detail.

I hear you am exactly the same! Am very suspicious about people that love all that slushy infantilising stuff and those that broadcast their love for each other on social media makes me want to vom, shrieks of co dependency !! But , thankfully we are all different as the world would be a dull place otherwise

@AGirlsGotToDo absolutely understandable in that scenario- I still wouldn’t want a heartbeat in a Teddy, but obviously I’d cherish the recording of it in that case (this was sent to us along with the scan pics in an app)

Oh god the scan place sounds horrific how inappropriate did you not check the website.😂. It's fine not to go misty eyed at twee nonsense there is nothing wrong with you.

Gender reveals - how transphobic, dont they know that genitals are not indicative of whether a baby has a inner male or female identity

@SmidgenofaPigeon - funny, I had an early scan at WTTW and didn't get any of that! I know they do run separate clinics for the very early scans though so maybe they take a lower-key approach then given the significantly higher likelihood of a negative outcome?

That said, I definitely did feel like they were expecting a more emotional response from us during the scan - lots of excited "there's your baby! Look at your baby's heartbeat!" and DH and I were just like, "ah, yes, very good..." I fear we're too low-key for this baby stuff!

I’m the same. John Lewis Christmas adverts don’t move me at all. Literally don’t know why anyone would be ‘crying’ over them. Get a grip. Can’t stand anything twee, especially baby related, spew! My in laws are AWFUL in this respect. They talk like something out of a Jane Austen novel I kid you not. ‘Oh my goodness, isn’t this just absolutely MAGICAL, we’re going to make such PRECIOUS MEMORIES with the Famalam today.’ I am boiling over inside. They’re like this with literally everything. Can’t stand it!

I get really upset about animal and child abuse to be fair, and old people in old people’s homes, anyone vulnerable. Or in a desperately sad situation, my collewgue’s husband died suddenly, young, only been married a year and my heart fucking broke for her so much I’d have to go to the toilet just to compose myself a bit before speaking to her as she was a wreck. So I definitely have emotions, but people fucking crying over twee, ridiculous adverts etc get on my wick.

@Mypathtriedtokillme

My GP once referred that being pregnant was like hosting a parasite and that they suck the life out of you. (I had horrible morning sickness and was worried I wasn’t getting enough nutrients) Weirdly that reference helped rather that all of the fluff.

I always used to say it felt like having squatters in.

I'm so with you. I have zero tolerance for anything remotely twee or sentimental, it makes me stabby. I think it's because I never believe it's genuine and is just for show.

It has started really annoying me that every, single sodding TV show now has to involve someone in tears while others look on sympathetically with obligatory . Doesn't matter what the show is, there's guaranteed to be someone fighting back sobs.

Whatever happened to the British stiff upper lip FFS?

Yes, EVERY contestant on everything has to have a sob story these days! I used to work in the Britain’s Got Talent offices...it was a temp job and oh my god never again- but I used to have to listen to the producers ring up the prospective contestants to try and wheedle a sad story out of them! They were generally puzzled when they couldn’t get one but usually did- even if it was something nearly every young adult had gone through- a gran dying, dead cat, been dumped, felt shy at school, they’d use ANYTHING.

@Sprayerhayer I DETEST the term "famalam" URGH.