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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I Don’t Get the Feels, I Cringe and Recoil

104 replies

SmidgenofaPigeon · 28/05/2021 11:53

And I feel a bit odd 😅

It’s sort of come to my attention since being pregnant that the things I’m supposed to find all lovely and warm and nice just make make me cringe and recoil. I have always been like this a bit but there is so much cringy language and things around babies. (Bubba= shivers)

It’s not just about babies obviously because I hate all the Live, Life, Laugh stuff in general, but a few weeks ago my husband and I went to a private scan place (only reason being at the time I thought he wouldn’t be allowed in the twenty week NHS one)

Firstly they try and flog you the gender reveal cannon things but also a teddy bear you can put a heartbeat inside, like at the Build a Bear Factory, obviously we just said no to to all that, but when I went into the scan room they were playing that music from Beauty and the Beast where Belle notices the rose in a glass cloche and is all transfixed. This changed to an upbeat Moana tune shortly after, then ‘I can show you the world’ from Aladdin Confused

I couldn’t help thinking that what on earth do they do if they find something wrong with the baby- cut the music or put on one of the sad Disney songs? Is there a sad Disney song?

I felt like I was supposed to be transfixed and misty eyed at the wonder of it but really just wanted to know all was as it should be and I didn’t need bloody Disney songs in my head all day.

A part of me thinks I’d love to get ‘the feels’ that people talk about from various things but I’m not easily moved in general (apart from maybe those awful donkey charity adverts where they have open sores from pulling carts and then they show the rescued ones running around in a field in Devon)

Other people are like this too I’m sure. Has anyone got any other examples of things that should make you warm and fuzzy and you just thing...bleaugh!

OP posts:
peaceanddove · 28/05/2021 13:47

@SmidgenofaPigeon

Yes, EVERY contestant on everything has to have a sob story these days! I used to work in the Britain’s Got Talent offices...it was a temp job and oh my god never again- but I used to have to listen to the producers ring up the prospective contestants to try and wheedle a sad story out of them! They were generally puzzled when they couldn’t get one but usually did- even if it was something nearly every young adult had gone through- a gran dying, dead cat, been dumped, felt shy at school, they’d use ANYTHING.
I knew it! I fucking knew it! It's a fucking conspiracy 😡😡😡
wheresmymojo · 28/05/2021 13:50

I'm all for the donkeys and not for Disney.

Basically I only really get the feels about animals - humans I can't get worked up about 🤷🏻‍♀️

Mypathtriedtokillme · 28/05/2021 13:53

Squatters who kick holes in internal walls and fuck with the plumbing.

I can’t watch MasterChef with all the drama and crying. It’s not worth crying over your plate of food it’s literally shit in about 10 hrs.

DonkeysNotDisney · 28/05/2021 13:53

@wheresmymojo

I'm all for the donkeys and not for Disney.

Basically I only really get the feels about animals - humans I can't get worked up about 🤷🏻‍♀️

Thanks , been trying to think of a nc for a while.
SmidgenofaPigeon · 28/05/2021 13:55

@DonkeysNotDisney Grin

OP posts:
sar302 · 28/05/2021 13:58

@OrangeRug the worst part was our sudden complete inability to make a decision. "Fuck! Do we want a bear or a duck? What's our baby presentation style? Do we have a baby presentation style??" All far too much for the first scan of our first born 😂

Osrie · 28/05/2021 13:59

Never heard anything like it! I can see how for some it would be magical and why not be allowed to get all mushy before reality hits in.

HoldontoOneMoreDay · 28/05/2021 14:02

Well as I now can't get 'I can show you the world' out of my head, you are definitely U!

I think I would have laughed in their faces and treated them to a lecture about Disney upholding the patriarchy.

wheresmymojo · 28/05/2021 14:02

@DonkeysNotDisney GrinGrinGrin

SVRT19674 · 28/05/2021 14:05

TV programmes with precocious kids singing and whatnot with parents crying all over the place. (I feell all wuzzy when my kid is sweet, but don´t impose it on others).

FolkyFoxFace · 28/05/2021 14:10

@Meirou90

Did you get scanned in Speke, Liverpool? Window to the Womb? Exact same music at my scan place 😂 (I love that tune from Beauty and the Beast though)
This is where I got scammed in my first pregnancy. They had the music then, too. Baby had sadly died. I did actually mention the shitty music when they ushered me into their tiny falling to bits "quiet room" - can't remember what I said but it wasn't glowing!
FolkyFoxFace · 28/05/2021 14:11

Scanned, rather. Although the music did make it all feel very scammy!

SmidgenofaPigeon · 28/05/2021 14:11

@FolkyFoxFace oh my god, I’m so sorry. That is horrendous.

OP posts:
Imissmoominmama · 28/05/2021 14:14

The musical choices remind me a bit of a wedding where I’d been asked to be a bridesmaid. As we set off walking up the aisle, that Angry Anderson wedding song from Neighbours came on and I burst out laughing.

Turns out they were serious 😬.

FolkyFoxFace · 28/05/2021 14:15

[quote SmidgenofaPigeon]@FolkyFoxFace oh my god, I’m so sorry. That is horrendous.[/quote]
Thank you. It was surreal to say the least. Stayed well away in my last (successful) pregnancy, the thought of it just gave me the rage! So unprofessional!

SallyCinnabon · 28/05/2021 14:15
  • @romdowa the music was in the actual scan room- the assistant to the sonographer hit it just as the ultrasound thing made contact *

Omg 🤣 I’d expect Ant and Dec to appear!

You can imagine them behind the scenes
Giggle giggle “turn on the music just as you do the scan” guffaw guffaw 😆

BrownEyedGirl80 · 28/05/2021 14:19

I think its bizarre and inappropriate especially if it's not good news as pp experienced.

minipie · 28/05/2021 14:20

Wedding dress “boutiques” are a top contender for this kind of stuff too.

I remember trying a dress on, then being told to “close your eyes… now open them and imagine your beautiful veil… now imagine your DH to be waiting for you at the end of the aisle… he’s smiling at you… he looks so proud… now walk forward and imagine everyone smiling and clapping for you…”

I think I was supposed to get tearful but instead I burst out laughing and so did my mum. Then we talked about how awful the dress looked. We were ushered out fairly swiftly.

User629202 · 28/05/2021 14:22

You’re my tribe OP Grin I can’t bear empty sentimentality and saccharine nonsense. It’s a performance, not real feeling, and it makes me cringe!

BraxtonChic · 28/05/2021 14:23

I'm often quite relieved that my generation (I'm early 50s) didn't really experience this, and doesn't have the same pressure to make everything in life such a performance all the time. Why must every aspect of life now be choreographed, complete with soundtrack and tat accessories?

Bear or Duck made me chuckle Grin

lakesidelife · 28/05/2021 14:29

being pregnant was like hosting a parasite

I was worried I was losing weight while carrying twins and my no nonsense obstetrician told me this, adding "they will suck you dry if they have to but they will be fine"

Your scan place sounds terrible if funny OP.

DanglingMod · 28/05/2021 14:30

Oh my goodness. What absolute mawkish twaddle. Surely more people detest that kind of tacky crap than like it? And particularly insensitive if there's bad news to deliver.

That wedding dress place sounds awful as well.

I feel so old these days. But am very happy not to 'get' all this.Grin

SallyCinnabon · 28/05/2021 14:33

@DanglingMod

Oh my goodness. What absolute mawkish twaddle. Surely more people detest that kind of tacky crap than like it? And particularly insensitive if there's bad news to deliver.

That wedding dress place sounds awful as well.

I feel so old these days. But am very happy not to 'get' all this.Grin

I’m going to sound my age now, but it’s the tiktok/Instagram influence. Everything is photographed, videoed, danced to, music added, edited into oblivion.

I feel like we are going to get to the point where we can’t go to the loo without a fanfare and a tiktok video. 🤣

gurglebelly · 28/05/2021 14:35

Oh god I get you, I want to recoil at anything twee - everything you describe would have made me cringe too!

But then I also can't stand cars being given names or people using 'l'il man' or anything like that. I'm just not very 'fluffy' 🤷‍♀️

33goingon64 · 28/05/2021 14:37

Everything you have described I would hate too. There's nothing wrong with you OP!!

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