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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I Don’t Get the Feels, I Cringe and Recoil

104 replies

SmidgenofaPigeon · 28/05/2021 11:53

And I feel a bit odd 😅

It’s sort of come to my attention since being pregnant that the things I’m supposed to find all lovely and warm and nice just make make me cringe and recoil. I have always been like this a bit but there is so much cringy language and things around babies. (Bubba= shivers)

It’s not just about babies obviously because I hate all the Live, Life, Laugh stuff in general, but a few weeks ago my husband and I went to a private scan place (only reason being at the time I thought he wouldn’t be allowed in the twenty week NHS one)

Firstly they try and flog you the gender reveal cannon things but also a teddy bear you can put a heartbeat inside, like at the Build a Bear Factory, obviously we just said no to to all that, but when I went into the scan room they were playing that music from Beauty and the Beast where Belle notices the rose in a glass cloche and is all transfixed. This changed to an upbeat Moana tune shortly after, then ‘I can show you the world’ from Aladdin Confused

I couldn’t help thinking that what on earth do they do if they find something wrong with the baby- cut the music or put on one of the sad Disney songs? Is there a sad Disney song?

I felt like I was supposed to be transfixed and misty eyed at the wonder of it but really just wanted to know all was as it should be and I didn’t need bloody Disney songs in my head all day.

A part of me thinks I’d love to get ‘the feels’ that people talk about from various things but I’m not easily moved in general (apart from maybe those awful donkey charity adverts where they have open sores from pulling carts and then they show the rescued ones running around in a field in Devon)

Other people are like this too I’m sure. Has anyone got any other examples of things that should make you warm and fuzzy and you just thing...bleaugh!

OP posts:
willstarttomorrow · 28/05/2021 19:26

I totally agree OP, much of this is commercial after all. I think loads of people feel the same (like weddings etc) but there is this whole narrative out there which is totally false. What really concerns me (as a CP social worker and someone who has also worked with ante, peri and postnatal women with significant mental health problems caused by pregnancy) is how damaging this shite can be to very vulnerable women. Admitting you are struggling to immediately bond makes women feel like monsters. Most relationships take time after all. Men never get made to feel the same way and the sad cases where women for some reason harm children attract far greater judgement. Most parents love their kids but the whole misty eyed concept of being in love from the moment you conceive and then just anything to do with your children being pure delight is a social construct. Parenting is often pretty relentless, dull and thankless but we love them anyway. Grin

Goshitstricky · 28/05/2021 19:34

Dear lord! My eyebrows would have raised into my hair and down my back at that place OP!

I am not a sentimental, sappy type. DH is, he gushes over anything 'traditionally sentimental' where as I will happily lob stuff in a bin bag without a flicker of remorse.

I got swarmed by Disney Princesses at my wedding and there's a couple photos of me grimacing while they assumed the pose around me. Confused

Talisin · 28/05/2021 21:10

@Mypathtriedtokillme

My GP once referred that being pregnant was like hosting a parasite and that they suck the life out of you. (I had horrible morning sickness and was worried I wasn’t getting enough nutrients) Weirdly that reference helped rather that all of the fluff.
Dr House on the subject
Nonmaquillee · 29/05/2021 10:33

@Custardo

nobody with any self worth likes the shit you describe you are not as unique as you might think you are - you are just surrounded by idiots
Couldn’t agree more
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