Should I do more? DH doing everything

[peanutbutterporridge]

I feel guilty I don't do enough around the house. We have a 7 month old and I'm loving life. I used to get stressed about an untidy house, but my expectations are far lower now! In 7 months I've cooked, put a wash on, been shopping a handful of times. My husband does everything. Bakes bread, makes hummus, makes my lunch, dinner, cleans, does the washing, groceries, and works full time. I have tried to do a bit more recently, but I seem to have become lazy! The baby isn't even that demanding. I could probably do more. I'm just really enjoying time with my baby and going for walks. He says he can cope with it all, but I'm worried he's going to resent me!

If this was the other way around I know what the answer would be!

@Iniyat

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/a4132511-feeling-awful-and-guilty?msgid=103530164#103530164

So what changed

😂😂😂 That was a quick turnaround

If this is genuine then you're basically just on to brag?

@katy1213

LTB

🤭🤣🤣🤣🤣

@Bourbonandcoke

Oh dear OP, have you not realised that you can only post on here to confirm that all men are useless in the home? You have completely wrecked MN by revealing that, somewhere in the UK, there is a man who does stuff rather than leaving everything to the womenfolk. The feminist board will be wild....

Well that's not true for a start. I have a broken right wrist and my husband is doing as much as he can. I've lived with a decent man for 35 years, so no agendas here. What the op wrote is farcical in any relationship and she knows it.

Good point. Amy expectations have changed I guess! He does a lot, but it's not all to my previously too high standards. I used to get extremely upset about an unclean kitchen. Overly so 😬 doesn't bother me too much now

Why are you asking anonymous internet strangers if you should do more?

You know your husband, no-one else here does.

It's difficult to know what you want from this thread?

Are you bipolar?

Genuinely not having a dig, I'm serious because of the contrast in your threads.

When I had a 7 month old I was baking the bread and making the hummus. It’s quite relaxing. Give it a go some time.

@SkedaddIe

Are you bipolar?

Genuinely not having a dig, I'm serious because of the contrast in your threads.

No, but a bit highly strung. Used to be, anyway. More relaxed now I think

Is he's scared of your temper then?

I would be worried that at some point he’ll think fuck this and do one.

Be careful he doesn’t burn out whilst you lie around acting like the queen

“He’s literally superman.” No, he really, really isn’t.

No one would bat an eyelid if the female partner was doing as much as this DH. Crack on I say, as long as it suits you both.

Make sure DH has quality time with the baby though. Not just juggling baby and other tasks.

It's not even half term yet...

@MangosteenSoda

No one would bat an eyelid if the female partner was doing as much as this DH. Crack on I say, as long as it suits you both.

Make sure DH has quality time with the baby though. Not just juggling baby and other tasks.

Yes but the lazy DH normally gets called a cunt or similar.

@MangosteenSoda

No one would bat an eyelid if the female partner was doing as much as this DH. Crack on I say, as long as it suits you both.

Make sure DH has quality time with the baby though. Not just juggling baby and other tasks.

No one? Is that really what you think? You have read posts on here by overstretched women being taken advantage of by their lazy husband's haven't you?

This thread has made me quite sad. I am your DH basically, apart from DP works FT like me and the DC aren't his. He has just gone out for a 9 mile run after we've both WFH all day, and said 'Just cook tea, don't wait for me, I'll eat it when I get back'. I've had two DC at home because of illness and ALevel leave. He hasn't lifted a finger all day. In fact he has made me a brew, that's it. No making packed lunch for DC at school, making breakfast, washing on, tidying, washing up, putting away, providing lunch. I am resentful as fuck tbh. Watch out OP, he might be seething inside like me (and yes, I have raised it before).

"No, but a bit highly strung. Used to be, anyway. More relaxed now I think"

Okay @peanutbutterporridge sometimes BPD is missed because people talk to HCPs about the down times and anxiety but may not think it's relevant to talk about periods of being unusually happy or energised.

If someone is anti depressants especially SSRIs without a mood stabiliser there can be issues with triggering mania. This probably doesn't apply to you but please please do speak to your GP if you ever feel overwhelmed even if it's happy overwhelmed.

@ItscoldinAlaska

This thread has made me quite sad. I am your DH basically, apart from DP works FT like me and the DC aren't his. He has just gone out for a 9 mile run after we've both WFH all day, and said 'Just cook tea, don't wait for me, I'll eat it when I get back'. I've had two DC at home because of illness and ALevel leave. He hasn't lifted a finger all day. In fact he has made me a brew, that's it. No making packed lunch for DC at school, making breakfast, washing on, tidying, washing up, putting away, providing lunch. I am resentful as fuck tbh. Watch out OP, he might be seething inside like me (and yes, I have raised it before).

Gosh I am sorry. I think because my husband seems so on it that I've taken a step back. I would not go out for a run and leave him to cook dinner if he wasn't ok with it. But although I'm doing 80% of the childcare, I should do more at home. Before having children I genuinely thought it would be easy to get things done around the house while they napped. How wrong.

Your husband sounds like a total wet wipe and you sound like a lazy cow.
If he doesn’t end up resenting you then you’ll probably end up losing respect for him because you’ve taken the absolute piss for months.
A fine example of fucked up family dynamics for your DD. What a shame for her.

Haha! We have a fantasist in our midst.

Are you sure you’re not underestimating your contributions, OP? Because if you’re not I do feel a bit sorry for your DH.

I have ME so struggle to do physical things around the house- DP does all of the cooking and heavy cleaning tasks like vacuuming. I try hard to contribute by doing lighter cleaning and stuff I can do sitting down, like folding laundry or doing the online shop. I also do all the finances/organising/mental load

LTB

@riotlady

Are you sure you’re not underestimating your contributions, OP? Because if you’re not I do feel a bit sorry for your DH.

I have ME so struggle to do physical things around the house- DP does all of the cooking and heavy cleaning tasks like vacuuming. I try hard to contribute by doing lighter cleaning and stuff I can do sitting down, like folding laundry or doing the online shop. I also do all the finances/organising/mental load

Perhaps. Menta load, organising, finances, is all me.

@riotlady

Are you sure you’re not underestimating your contributions, OP? Because if you’re not I do feel a bit sorry for your DH.

I have ME so struggle to do physical things around the house- DP does all of the cooking and heavy cleaning tasks like vacuuming. I try hard to contribute by doing lighter cleaning and stuff I can do sitting down, like folding laundry or doing the online shop. I also do all the finances/organising/mental load

Sorry to see you are suffering with ME