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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I do more? DH doing everything

126 replies

peanutbutterporridge · 27/05/2021 15:57

I feel guilty I don't do enough around the house. We have a 7 month old and I'm loving life. I used to get stressed about an untidy house, but my expectations are far lower now! In 7 months I've cooked, put a wash on, been shopping a handful of times. My husband does everything. Bakes bread, makes hummus, makes my lunch, dinner, cleans, does the washing, groceries, and works full time. I have tried to do a bit more recently, but I seem to have become lazy! The baby isn't even that demanding. I could probably do more. I'm just really enjoying time with my baby and going for walks. He says he can cope with it all, but I'm worried he's going to resent me!

If this was the other way around I know what the answer would be!

OP posts:
sapnupuas · 27/05/2021 16:16

My husband is currently doing everything but I'm just now getting over HG so at least I've got an excuse.

Crazycakelady17 · 27/05/2021 16:17

My DH pretty much does everything too at the moment and my youngest is 11 but I am having a bad mental health crisis at the moment even struggling to get a shower once a week is a task

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 27/05/2021 16:17

Reverse ???

grapewine · 27/05/2021 16:18

You sound lazy. And he sounds a mug. Just hope he doesn't go on strike. That's what's normally advised on here.

misspattylacosta · 27/05/2021 16:18

He does everything (yeah yeah yeah) and you are so bored you start threads like this on MN. Sounds like a dream life Hmm

sadie9 · 27/05/2021 16:19

Maybe he's afraid of the baby so he finds ways to busy himself absolutely everywhere else he can find. Does he ever take the baby for a walk just him and the baby?

JengaCupboard · 27/05/2021 16:19

To be honest it does sound like a joke...

However, it this not just a shining example of what is wrong with society and the expectations of women? I don't condone laziness and selfish self indulgent behavior from anyone long term, however if a woman was saying how she does all this and works full time, she wouldn't be disbelieved... OP is lucky if genuine, but probably needs to realise that one cannot take the piss forever...

And run-commute is possibly the most pretentous description of jogging to work I have come across to date Grin

gg12346 · 27/05/2021 16:23

luck you OP !

SecretWitch · 27/05/2021 16:34

Run-commutes to work? Wait upped your score to 5/10😂

Aquamarine1029 · 27/05/2021 16:36

Have you always been this lazy?

ShoutingBirb · 27/05/2021 16:40

Reverse.

Original poster
peanutbutterporridge · 27/05/2021 16:41

@sadie9

Maybe he's afraid of the baby so he finds ways to busy himself absolutely everywhere else he can find. Does he ever take the baby for a walk just him and the baby?
Yes! Adores her! He takes her once a day usually.

I have not always been this lazy at all! I used to be overly clean obsessed. I just would prefer to be with my baby now. I guess I do generally tidy up throughout the day. But nothing else is very consistent. I better up my game again! I'd say before we had the baby I did 70% of housework and chores.

And it's real!

OP posts:
BestOption · 27/05/2021 16:44

Does he have an older brother??

Summerdayshaze · 27/05/2021 16:45

He sounds like right drip.

Divebar2021 · 27/05/2021 16:49

I hope you’re good in bed at least.

GertietheGherkin · 27/05/2021 16:50

Do you hire him out?
I'm not overly keen on hummus though, so he needn't bother with that. 😁

beggingforsleep · 27/05/2021 16:53

@katy1213 😂😂

ZaraW · 27/05/2021 16:54

Are you married to Kevin from Motherland?!

Original poster
peanutbutterporridge · 27/05/2021 16:59

🤣

OP posts:
Lazydaz · 27/05/2021 17:04

I think you should do as much as you can but baby comes first, but why cant he enjoy baby on his days off?

StClairStreet · 27/05/2021 17:06

He sounds great tbh Grin

OP, it doesn’t matter what the vipers think. Only you know if it’s fair and sustainable. You’re doing the bulk of the childcare so he should be doing more housework. If you think the balance is currently wrong then you can address it, but you and he should decide between you what the right path is.

Original poster
peanutbutterporridge · 27/05/2021 17:30

@Lazydaz

I think you should do as much as you can but baby comes first, but why cant he enjoy baby on his days off?
Is say he spends as much, if not more, time with her at the weekends
OP posts:
knittingaddict · 27/05/2021 17:41

@Iniyat

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/a4132511-feeling-awful-and-guilty?msgid=103530164#103530164

So what changed

A lot in 5 months, it would appear.
Bourbonandcoke · 27/05/2021 17:41

Oh dear OP, have you not realised that you can only post on here to confirm that all men are useless in the home? You have completely wrecked MN by revealing that, somewhere in the UK, there is a man who does stuff rather than leaving everything to the womenfolk. The feminist board will be wild....