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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you go away with someone you had been out with twice?

106 replies

WeekendWishes · 27/05/2021 15:06

I’ve been invited to a weekend away, and I’m not sure whether to go or not. I’d love to hear some opinions.

We’ve been on two dates and had a lot of fun together. There’s plenty of chemistry.

I’m hesitant that a weekend can be a long time, what if I or she gets bored (I’m female). We haven’t reached that place of real comfort in each other’s company yet. What if there are awkward moments, especially mornings and evenings when we’re not out doing something?

Pros:
Get to know someone better who might turn out to be great
Have a change of scene for the weekend
Seeing beautiful scenery
Doing something a bit special for the bank holiday
It might be the beginning of a beautiful relationship (which I’m not sure I’m ready for just now)
Making up for Covid lost time and shaking the cobwebs off

Cons:
The expanse
Packing and travelling
No privacy (one shared room)
What if she’s not as nice as I thought she was!
Loosing a weekend where I could have been happily at home and spent that money on some much needed stuff
The embarrassment of having to make my excuses to leave early if necessary (who needs that!)

What would you do? Am I being unreasonable not being sure if I want to go?

OP posts:
OppsUpsSide · 27/05/2021 15:08

No

Spodge · 27/05/2021 15:09

I'd probably not go after two dates unless it was separate rooms.

LaLaLoopsi · 27/05/2021 15:10

Christ no!

OuiOuiKitty · 27/05/2021 15:11

@Spodge

I'd probably not go after two dates unless it was separate rooms.
This. I wouldn't like to share a room with a relative stranger for a weekend. It could be great but equally it could be awful and there will be nowhere to escape to.
AdultHumanWhale · 27/05/2021 15:14

With separate rooms I would consider it.

Hard no to a shared room after only two dates though.

Original poster
WeekendWishes · 27/05/2021 15:16

There will be separate beds.

OP posts:
Mileu · 27/05/2021 15:16

I went on a mini break abroad with a bloke after 3 dates...it was an experience! At least you’ll know by the end whether you want to pursue things or not.

sunshinepunch · 27/05/2021 15:17

Definitely not. Not if I was interested romantically.

If you do really want to go to see a particular area however, why can't you get separate rooms and go as friends? See eachother for certain activities and do your own thing at other times?

Nonmaquillee · 27/05/2021 15:17

No

Paperreceipt · 27/05/2021 15:17

No, I wouldn’t. Someone once suggested to me one days holiday per one month of going out, which I thought was a good rule of thumb.

Solasum · 27/05/2021 15:18

You could start with a day trip?

Original poster
WeekendWishes · 27/05/2021 15:20

@Solasum

You could start with a day trip?
This would be a good start, but the location would involve 4 hours round trip for the same day, might be a bit gruelling if you’re trying to have fun.
OP posts:
LucysSkyDiamonds · 27/05/2021 15:26

Oh, dh and I went abroad for a weekend for our fourth date. Worked for us.

katy1213 · 27/05/2021 15:26

Separate rooms and agree you're not joined at the hip if you want to do your own thing for a couple of hours?
Much easier if you can retreat to your own room for a drink and a break if you're flagging.

TwoAndAnOnion · 27/05/2021 15:29

Depends if you slept together or not. I wouldn't like the expectation if it hadn't already occurred.

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/05/2021 15:32

Separate rooms not beds. And I'd be paying half.

MrsAudreyAlfredRobertsOBEHmm · 27/05/2021 15:33

No, it's too soon, let things smoulder for a while. Much more fun 😜

Original poster
WeekendWishes · 27/05/2021 15:38

@Mileu

I went on a mini break abroad with a bloke after 3 dates...it was an experience! At least you’ll know by the end whether you want to pursue things or not.
This should have gone on my pros list. It took me 3 months to discover a relationship wasn’t going to work out once. I’m sure one weekend away early on would have saved me time pursuing something that was never going to work out.

Still, neither do I want to deal with the bits of tension and uncertainty that naturally occur when you’re getting to know someone during the course of an entire weekend in the unfamiliar environment of a rental.

Yet, do I really want to be pessimistic and stay home during what might turn out to be a beautiful sunny weekend, when there is a chance I could be on an extended date that’s going really well?

OP posts:
PattyPan · 27/05/2021 15:38

I went to a festival with DP after we’d been on one date (just the two of us although we did nominally take a tent each). We’ve been together for 5 years now Smile

Original poster
WeekendWishes · 27/05/2021 15:39

@TwoAndAnOnion

Depends if you slept together or not. I wouldn't like the expectation if it hadn't already occurred.
This hasn’t happened yet, and we talked that neither of us would be arriving with this expectation.
OP posts:
osbertthesyrianhamster · 27/05/2021 15:40

No, not in the same room.

Original poster
WeekendWishes · 27/05/2021 15:41

@Mileu

I went on a mini break abroad with a bloke after 3 dates...it was an experience! At least you’ll know by the end whether you want to pursue things or not.
A good experience or...?
OP posts:
Laiste · 27/05/2021 15:41

I would.

But - i would have a contingency plan for how to get home easily if it all went tits up.

Laiste · 27/05/2021 15:43

Are either of you driving OP?

Or is it trains/coach?

scrivette · 27/05/2021 15:45

I went away with someone for 3 nights as our second date, although I did know him before.

It worked as we were engaged a month later and have been married for many years.

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