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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Expecting work free.

104 replies

ButchersPleasure · 27/05/2021 00:15

I work in the beauty industry. Massages, nails, eyebrows etc. I have about 4-5 friends who book me then don't pay. I don't mind as a one off but these so called friends are asking every few weeks. It's really starting to piss me off. Would I be unreasonable to say" hey this is my living I need paying" even if I give them discounted prices. I don't want to sound greedy but due to covid I have lost a lot of money. No government help as business was only set up Feb 2020.

OP posts:
pitterpatterrain · 27/05/2021 00:16

Completely unreasonable

There is opportunity cost - you could be earning money instead you are helping them

Plus the actual cost of materials and your time

No way. Don’t discount.

Many women undercharge for any services that they provide - if you have already helped them unpaid no need to discount

Berthatydfil · 27/05/2021 00:17

What a shame your books are full with paying customers.

Wheresmybiscuit3 · 27/05/2021 00:18

No YANBU. I also feel you. I work in a profession that is often devalued and expected to be free.

It grinds a bit after a while when you have a family to support and need to earn a wage!

TimeForTeaAndG · 27/05/2021 00:19

Do not do mates rates for them, they are taking the piss. Start asking for deposits by bank transfer cos they're taking up time you could have actual paying clients and you deserve to be paid. Even if you frame it as "I'm getting a lot of enquiries so if you need to book me I need a deposit". Just send it as a group text or whatever. If they kick off ask them why they think you should work for free. You can't walk into Capital/Sally's and ask for freebies cos you're just using it for your mates.

pepsicolagirl · 27/05/2021 00:20

A friend does not expect freebies. A friend, one who cares about you, wants your business to thrive and is happy to support that by paying full price.

Rinse and repeat.
The sooner you learn it the better x

Original poster
ButchersPleasure · 27/05/2021 00:22

I am too soft. When I add it all up I get annoyed with myself. Maybe time to see which of these friends are true friends.

OP posts:
pitterpatterrain · 27/05/2021 00:27

Do you have a savings or earnings goal you are aiming for?

One that would give you a bit of a nudge to think ... if I stopped giving X freebies per week I would reach in 4 months instead of 6

Or another thought add up the value of the freebies so far to give you a cold hard figure of what you could have made (and then easier to say “I’ve given over £200 of free work so far in my pilot phase - now I am launched I am focusing on growing my paid business...”)

DPotter · 27/05/2021 00:30

I make stuff for a living and never offer mates rates. In fact the only people I have found who expect mates rates are those you only know vaguely. I do offer loyalty discounts for people who've bought a certain amount during the year, but that's it

Before any more freebies are booked send around a message to all family & friends saying "With immediate effect I will be charging the full treatment price to all my clients; times are hard, materials & supplies are increasing in cost and I have to make a living. I'm sure you'll understand. "
Don't apologize - you have to earn a living and people have to pay their way.

Original poster
ButchersPleasure · 27/05/2021 00:31

@pitterpatterrain
That's a good idea. Thank you.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 27/05/2021 00:31

@ButchersPleasure

I am too soft. When I add it all up I get annoyed with myself. Maybe time to see which of these friends are true friends.
Yes and also ( and I know this sounds harsh ) whether you're cut out to run your own business.

I seriously can't believe I've just read Would I be unreasonable to say" hey this is my living I need paying" even if I give them discounted prices. I don't want to sound greedy but due to covid I have lost a lot of money. No government help as business was only set up Feb 2020.

In fact my mind is boggling Confused

Time to get tough. It's completely normal for professionals to charge for their work.

Gingernaut · 27/05/2021 00:35

Mates' rates would be fine, if they paid them, but these CFs need binning.

They're not friends.

Wineat5isfine · 27/05/2021 00:45

Definitely agree that real friends wouldn’t expect freebies!

Love the launch idea...go for it and don’t undersell yourself x

AMillionMilesAway · 27/05/2021 00:47

They're taking the piss.
Bet if they had a male mate who was a plumber they'd not ask him to sort out their toilet for free!
Don't do mates rates either. Keep business business.

Nohugstoday25 · 27/05/2021 00:54

Oh god no ! I am extremely successful stylist but I never give freebies the only time was for my best friends wedding as a wedding gift.

Naz2009 · 27/05/2021 01:22

@ButchersPleasure you sound very nice and too soft for your own good. I can't imagine you will toughen up to say it to their face they need to start paying.
So perhaps you can make a group with your other clients and send a price list and deals etc you have going on.
If they say why you sent that for. Say you need the money and business. Lockdown has been tough on you.
When they book you, it's not cheeky, it's professional of you to tell them. Ok you want nails and brown that's x amount of money.
That way they know they need to pay.
I'm sorry they are not good friends. All 4/5 of them. They should be supporting you. Not expecting a freebie. They are using you. If all fails then perhaps make excuses when they try to book you. Say you're busy etc.

memberofthewedding · 27/05/2021 02:09

The best way to get friends and neighbours to pay for business services is never to begin letting them have items/services for free. You are a business not a charity.

You can make it clear that the first session is at "mates rates" but they will have to at least cover your costs thereafter.

Ive had aquaintances and neighbours ask me "could you make me/do me XXX" and Ive said "Ill have a think about it and get back to you with a price" or " I havnt thought of making them to sell but if I do I will let you know".

That generally cuts the conversation short.

Your so called friends sound like a pretty ungrateful and entitled bunch.

TheSandgroper · 27/05/2021 02:24

I consider myself a good friend. I am happy to support my friends. I pay what I’m charged and never quibble. I consider knowing that my money is going to a good cause a reward in itself.

PinkSatinMoon · 27/05/2021 04:08

These are not friends. Flowers

dentydown · 27/05/2021 04:38

They’re not friends they’re freeloaders. I can understand a one off but you need paying. They must like you because they keep coming back to you!

pasturesgreen · 27/05/2021 04:42

Your 'friends' are massively taking the piss, OP.
Time to put a stop to the freeloading!

TravelDreamLife · 27/05/2021 04:51

Friends don't ask for freebies. When they book tell them the price. You have to be firm. Boundaries are essential or it'll just get worse.

I know. My DH is a financial advisor & people ask for free advice constantly, sometimes in creative & CF ways (like inviting us for dinner, buying pizza & casually peppering DH with complex questions.) If nice guy DH can learn to sidestep or 'sure, book time when I'm at work' (his boss WILL bill them) you can too. Most do not book, btw.

Haven't been invited for pizza recently, either....

TwoAndAnOnion · 27/05/2021 05:05

@ButchersPleasure

I work in the beauty industry. Massages, nails, eyebrows etc. I have about 4-5 friends who book me then don't pay. I don't mind as a one off but these so called friends are asking every few weeks. It's really starting to piss me off. Would I be unreasonable to say" hey this is my living I need paying" even if I give them discounted prices. I don't want to sound greedy but due to covid I have lost a lot of money. No government help as business was only set up Feb 2020.
Cash upfront. It's the only way.

NDN runs a hairdressing salon, there is one particular neighbour who never had any money because her husband deals with all that sort of thing. It takes her weeks to get the money out of her.

TBH, if it were me, I'd be fully booked for the foreseeable

doritodiva · 27/05/2021 05:10

Wow that's mega rude of your friends! My friend is a hairdresser and has done my hair for the past ten years. Yes she does do it at a slightly discounted rate but I always pay her. I'd never dream of not. It's her livelihood! You need to tell them to cough up!

SuperSange · 27/05/2021 05:15

I have a mate who does beauty stuff; she tried to give me a discount but I refused. That's not why I booked with her. I'd live to support her business and the best way to do that is by paying the full price!

PyjamaFan · 27/05/2021 06:51

Absolutely do not work for free.

There are a couple of really good suggestions for emails to send out on this thread. I would use one of them and then be firm.

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