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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Expecting work free.

104 replies

ButchersPleasure · 27/05/2021 00:15

I work in the beauty industry. Massages, nails, eyebrows etc. I have about 4-5 friends who book me then don't pay. I don't mind as a one off but these so called friends are asking every few weeks. It's really starting to piss me off. Would I be unreasonable to say" hey this is my living I need paying" even if I give them discounted prices. I don't want to sound greedy but due to covid I have lost a lot of money. No government help as business was only set up Feb 2020.

OP posts:
Youdoyoutoday · 27/05/2021 12:10

Cash up front if you do something for them again as you know they will wiggle out of payment after you've finished with 'oh I forgot my purse' crap.

If you're running a business, you really do need to toughen up with them.

honeygirlz · 27/05/2021 12:17

@ButchersPleasure

Wow thank you for all your replies and great advice. I am putting together a group of my regulars and "friends" and emailing a price list. Let's see if any of them reply. Thanks again.
They may assume the price list doesn't apply to them if you send a mass email! Will you email them individually?
Apandemicyousay · 27/05/2021 12:35

You are likely to lose them as friends but as PP said, they are no friends and probably their grabby attitude permeates into other parts of your friendship anyway. Once you have a sense of self worth you’ll also attract better friends!

YellowFish12 · 27/05/2021 12:41

Put it this way - do your friends com over and do an hour of unpaid labour for you? Clean your house? Do your tax return? Tutor your kids?
No? Then stop fucking giving your work time away to them for free!!!!!

IntermittentParps · 27/05/2021 12:51

How do you mean they book you and then don't pay? What actually happens? you do the treatment and they swan off? Do you never say anything like, 'Right, got your card or is it cash?'

But they're greedy, not you; don't talk about yourself like that. You're a professional and this is your living.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 27/05/2021 12:54

I am putting together a group of my regulars and "friends" and emailing a price list. Let's see if any of them reply

I doubt the CFs will reply; next time they'll just claim they've been let down by someone else and "could you just this once ..."

Many who work for themselves have this happen at some point, and yes you're being too soft. Just tell them you can't do work which isn't paid at the time, ignore claims about "forgotten purses" and "bank transfers which'll be made tonight without fail" and look forward to findoing out which really are friends

VeganCheesePlease · 27/05/2021 12:55

You are not being unreasonable! My DH is self employed and I hate it when people expect favours unpaid. Don't allow them to take advantage of you in this way.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 27/05/2021 12:57

do your friends com over and do an hour of unpaid labour for you? Clean your house? Do your tax return? Tutor your kids?

Good point which opens up another possibility if the "friends" have any skills OP could use

Tell them you'll trade a session if they do such and such for you ... only make sure they do it first

billy1966 · 27/05/2021 13:26

They are not friends.

Be fully booked with only space for paying customers.

Users and complete CF's come to mind.

QueeniesCroft · 27/05/2021 13:28

I've been self-employed for nearly 20 years, but since my first business is all online with payment in advance, I had no idea how awkward it would be for me to have to ask for money.

This year I started a market gardening business, and I find I have to really fight against the urge to give stuff away for free. As a compromise, I have one adult who I give free stuff to (but would never ask for it) and everyone else pays. Sometimes I blame my accountant (I do my own accounts!) because with very pushy people it's easier that way. If I can, I leave farm gate sales to my husband, he has no problem with asking for money! But if I must do it, then blaming the accountant works for me.

In your case, OP, I would suggest an email just to the CF's, saying words to the effect of "I've been doing my tax return and realised/my accountant has pointed out how much money I've been losing by not taking payment for your treatments. I really appreciate the extra experience, but from now on I will have to charge everyone or I won't be able to continue to trade ". You can dress it up a bit, but the message needs to be firm.

TeapotCollection · 27/05/2021 13:38

People will only take the piss if you let them

We bought a static caravan a few years ago. The amount of people who suddenly got in touch to “catch up”, swiftly followed by a hint for a free holiday, was unbelievable!

Put your foot down OP

katy1213 · 27/05/2021 13:39

I can't believe that anyone can be such a drip - sorry, but it's true - and run a business. Why didn't you speak up the first time and say, 'That's £50.' If you suspected they'd take the piss, why didn't you say, 'Here's my pricelist,' before providing the service?
These people are not your friends. They're exploiting you - and you're letting it happen. Meanwhile, word is spreading - free manicures @butcherspleasure. Why wouldn't they avail themselves? If Tesco had a free groceries day, wouldn't you grab a trolley?
You don't have to buy friendship. And it doesn't matter if CFs don't like you.

Tinkling · 27/05/2021 13:40

Bitches.

PixieDust28 · 27/05/2021 13:41

Greedy? Far from it.

Your so called friends are being grabby and CF's!

Gem176 · 27/05/2021 13:49

Next time one of these friends ask to book an appointment, send them your treatment menu with prices on and ask what services they are looking for. When they reply with their requirements you can then calculate the total cost and send a confirmation email/text/message with their appointment time and total cost. Include your cancellation policy. Such as taking a deposit or charging a % if cancelled with less than 24 hours notice.

Don't be used, I can't believe they don't pay you!! My Aunty is a beauty therapist and I pay full price whenever she does my nails and eyebrows. It's her living and I'd pay anyone else so why would I not pay a family member. Some people make no sense to me.

Notaroadrunner · 27/05/2021 13:49

Dot bother wasting your time sending them a price list now. Next time one of them texts looking for an appointment you then send a copy of the pricelist. And do not offer mates rates. You need to be paid for your time and products used. Why should you go short because they are cf's. You'll soon see how supportive they are of your business when they know they have to pay.

Wexone · 27/05/2021 14:30

oh lord, no way is this acceptable, I agree with everyone next time they book in with you text back the price. No mates rates, you need to make sure you are charging enough to cover your costs including your wage as well as make a bit of a profit. A good friend of mine is a beauty therapist. She is excellent at what she does, based at home and i love the fact she does evening hours so can fit in after work. i always text her and ask her how much before my appointment so can have the cash form her. She does charge me cheaper i think but will always tip her extra, give her a nice voucher at xmas and birthdays too. Once you start charging you will see who your real friends are

DeathByWalkies · 27/05/2021 14:33

I also run a business where friends sometimes buy from me (I never actively promote to them, it's not an MLM!) and I give a discount (25%) and take payment prior to delivery, as I do for everyone.

Don't be a doormat!

Bathplug · 27/05/2021 14:49

I've got a bit of a hobby/sideline going on. Its gardening but I do it for fun more than anything else and I only charge enough to cover costs and a bit extra.

There is one person and one person only who gets my services for free and thats someone who has gone above and beyond to help me. Everyone else gets told that its payment before services or go and look on the Internet.

HostessTrolley · 27/05/2021 15:48

Maybe they go to work for free?

Thought not.

I had a hobby that turned into a business, I started out making things for my daughter, then her close friends whose parents just covered the material costs - I was happy with this as I was building experience and a portfolio. Then I decided to go full time but vastly underpriced myself based on lack of confidence and not really seeing myself as a bona fide business. I was snowed under with work, constantly exhausted and booked up 18 months in advance, but making very little money. It took someone questioning a price to make me stop. I told her the cost of materials and the number of hours it took and what my hourly rate worked out to be - a lot lower than my teenage daughter was getting for waitressing, and asked how that compared to her own hourly rate or if she had the skills to make it herself. That was the end of me making ballet tutus..

sst1234 · 27/05/2021 15:53

They’re not friends OP. They are freeloaders. You won’t miss anything if you binned them.

Beautiful3 · 27/05/2021 16:05

My friend is a hairdresser, I always pay her. Its her living. She knocks off a tenner because we re mates, which is really nice of her. You have to charge everyone, you are not a charity! If you want to do mates rates, knock off a fiver.

Opaljewel · 27/05/2021 16:11

My friend is nearly a fully qualified Personal Trainer. The only reason she is not is due to covid. She only had to do her final demonstration. She PT me last year and she has been doing it now. And guess what? I pay her for her services. It was never a question that I wouldn't.You need to either get better mates or stand up to them and say from now on they pay. It's up to you whether you give mates rates but honestly, it's so rude of them not to offer.

Thevoiceofreason2021 · 27/05/2021 16:22

Never do freebies - it all ends in tears. Just tell them - yes, I can fit you in on Friday, it will be x amount , this is my pay pal details. Real friends don’t take the piss.

MyCarHasBrokenDownAgain · 27/05/2021 16:24

Maybe some of these will help the OP (or others) - it's nicked from Twitter. Personally I don't do polite but ...! Grin

Expecting work free.
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