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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Expecting work free.

104 replies

ButchersPleasure · 27/05/2021 00:15

I work in the beauty industry. Massages, nails, eyebrows etc. I have about 4-5 friends who book me then don't pay. I don't mind as a one off but these so called friends are asking every few weeks. It's really starting to piss me off. Would I be unreasonable to say" hey this is my living I need paying" even if I give them discounted prices. I don't want to sound greedy but due to covid I have lost a lot of money. No government help as business was only set up Feb 2020.

OP posts:

newnortherner111 · 27/05/2021 07:06

I think you need to be firm. Your service whilst valued is something nice to have, it's not as if your friends will be without food, shelter or warmth if they do not use your services and someone who pays does so instead.

If they are upset by this then perhaps no loss if you are no longer friends with them as a result.

UseOfWeapons · 27/05/2021 07:10

This is not okay of your so-called friends.
I have a mate who is a skilled electrician and handyman, and although he’ll give me mates rates, I will give him a tip of between 10-20%, as well, in cash, as I value his skill, time and friendship. He also gives me advice when I I call him, and if he won’t take money for a little job, I’ll take him and his wife out for breakfast. Tell your ‘friends’ that the freebies are over, and they’ll have to pay for your expert work.

Namechangedlady · 27/05/2021 07:15

My friend owns a business that sells niknak bits that she makes. They are amazing. When I buy stuff from her, she never tells me the cost as I know she doesn't feel like she can pay me. So I just go on her etsy shop and bank transfer the amounts. It is a bit of a faff but the jist of what I am saying is a friend will pay for services, these people are just taking advantage of you.

Namechangedlady · 27/05/2021 07:15

*doesn't feel like she can charge me!

CoffeeCakey · 27/05/2021 07:21

If they get funny about having to pay then they are not your friends.

Ansjovis · 27/05/2021 07:23

I work in the beauty industry. Massages, nails, eyebrows etc. I have about 4-5 friends cheeky fuckers who book me then don't pay.

Fixed that for you OP. I cannot believe the brass neck of some people. You've received some good advice here and I hope you take it because this situation is not fair. I bet with all the pent up demand you could have filled those freebie slots many times over as well!

Brown76 · 27/05/2021 07:32

I am self employed and I think your friends should be paying, and also that you need to be much clearer about your fees and expectations with clients. Do you use any booking software? I use one thanks connects with Instagram, takes bookings automatically and payment before anyone can confirm their session so there’s no hassle for me in getting paid and it all comes off as very professional. Write to your friends; Thank you so much for trying out my services and helping me get back into the swing of things, and also for continuing to recommend me. Now that business is getting busy I won’t be offering any more free treatments to friends, but would be delighted if you’d still like to book with me..here’s a link to my booking page... thanks for your support.”

MilduraS · 27/05/2021 07:34

YANBU at all. Even in a normal year I'd be paying a friend for their services. It's your business, not a hobby you do for fun and it's supposed to be paying your bills. These people are taking the piss.

Franklydear · 27/05/2021 07:45

My friend is a fab hairdresser, I pay full price, no way I accept a discount, this is her living, she wouldn’t come to the shop I work in an expect to take things for free, it’s exactly the same

MzHz · 27/05/2021 08:07

The woman who does my hair is now one of my closest friends

I had an appointment booked in with her and it got put on hold in lockdown 2

I asked if she wanted more to pay her anyway and then she just does my hair when restrictions lifted

I’d never ask her for a freebie.

Charge your friends, you need to earn! but if they book and don’t pay, just refuse to book them in

honeygirlz · 27/05/2021 08:11

How long has this been going on for, OP?

You need to develop rhino skin and know your worth.

No more freebies for anyone! Even if it’s their wedding, birthday, hen!

HelpMeh · 27/05/2021 08:15

Just tell them you no longer do freebies and can't afford to do mates rates either. If they don't want to pay for your services then they're welcome to pay for someone else's.

You don't need to apologize, I doubt they'd work for free.

Have them pay up front if you think they'll try and wriggle out of it.

ForwardRanger · 27/05/2021 08:15

Would you, if you were a cleaner, be OK with "friends" booking you to clean their houses including supplying equipment?

No, and this is no different. These people are not your friends.

I get a lot of requests for "advice" ie. free professional services and I tell them upfront that I charge for my time and what the rate is. Good friends now book my time and pay for it, cheapskates go quiet. It all sorts itself out.

LookItsMeAgain · 27/05/2021 08:21

Absolutely not unreasonable to be expected to get paid for your work.

At this stage I wouldn't even offer them mates rates.

Make yourself busy with paying clients.

If they ask for an appointment, ask them for a deposit (this could be the equivalent of mates rates if you wanted, get it by Revolut or Paypal) then if asked come out with the statement that @DPotter came up with: "With immediate effect I will be charging the full treatment price to all my clients; times are hard, materials & supplies are increasing in cost and I have to make a living. I'm sure you'll understand."
Job done

twoshedsjackson · 27/05/2021 08:28

I have some useful skills I can offer, and I found the following handy when still teaching: "I'm a bit busy at the moment, but the extra cash would be useful with (Christmas/holidays) coming up."
This reminds them that my time is not at their disposal on a whim and my skills have a value.
You will soon work out who really appreciates what you have to offer.
I have called on the skills of my friends, and made it clear that I don't expect favours, just the confidence that I am asking somebody reliable and trustworthy.

Cocomarine · 27/05/2021 08:29

You let FIVE people book you multiple times and not pay?
Are you actually serious here?
Why did you let them book a second time when you knew they weren’t payers?

Absolute best case scenario: they genuinely thought you were offering to do it for free as part of a catch up as you don’t need the money.

Most likely scenario: these people aren’t friends.

You know who they are - they ask again, you say, “I’m not doing freebies now.”

GlassBoxSpectacular · 27/05/2021 08:31

Would I be unreasonable to say" hey this is my living I need paying"

Why would you think that was unreasonable?

Malteser71 · 27/05/2021 08:31

It’s the problem with doing a freebie once isn’t it? Being too nice!

I had a friend who I gave my professional time to for free. The service she had would have cost £900 if she had paid. She did try to pay, I wouldn’t accept.

It was an assessment for her little boy.

However, she then expected all the follow up stuff would be free. I actually didn’t have time to do follow up stuff (the therapy) but I referred her into somebody who could, who used my assessment to inform his needs.

She was really out out that she had to pay.

motogogo · 27/05/2021 08:33

My friend is a beautician, I pay! The only thing she does do is use the more expensive wax or spend longer than normal (because she's a real chatterbox )

Elieza · 27/05/2021 08:39

I’d be telling them:

“business is picking up thank goodness and I really need the money, so it’s difficult to fit in freebies now sorry. You know yourself how much xyz you usually get costs on the high street and while I like to save you money, that’s how much I’m losing by not having a paying customer in that time slot.

I’d like to offer you 50% off my appointment time plus whatever the products I use cost price, I hope you think that’s fair and understand. I’m not ripping you off, you’re my friend, but covid a really hit me hard and I need to dig my way out of it.”

(So if lashes cost a fiver to buy and you usually charge £30, I’d do it for a fiver plus £15 ie £20. Saving her a tenner and only losing me a tenner for the time slot).

Elieza · 27/05/2021 08:40

Oh and only for my real friends. Not someone I never see socially in real life (prior to covid when we could). Real friends. The rest can pay.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 27/05/2021 08:44

These people aren't friends. Worra is spot on. Honestly give yourself a shake. Cut these people loose. And in the future, when a 'friend' tries to book you, refer her to someone else and say, 'Thank you, I'm flattered but I never mix business with personal life.'

osbertthesyrianhamster · 27/05/2021 08:45

And fuck offering 50% discounts or any at all! Who takes the piss like this out of their friends?

Mylittleponysuperfan · 27/05/2021 08:47

I had this with a 'skint' mum i knew
I work full time and do hair on the side
She asked if I'd trim the kids hair so I agreed thinking it was a one off and would take 20 minutes
She stayed for hours
6 weeks later she asked if I'd do them again
Like a mug I agreed
This went on every month for a year-i ended up doing her hair too-(cuts and colours)the kids would trash my house while she sat there laughing about it
As soon as I asked for a token amount (fiver for both kids and a tenner for hers-basic cuts and another tenner for a colour) i never saw her again
Couldn't afford to pay me but could spend it on weed/booze/holidays and another baby
Last I heard she was slagging me off all over town
How dare I expect to be paid for my skills and time?

cupsofcoffee · 27/05/2021 08:49

I run a business and don't offer discounts to friends (or anyone else!).

In my experience, friends will always pay you full price because they want your business to succeed and they want you to do well.

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