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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Expecting work free.

104 replies

ButchersPleasure · 27/05/2021 00:15

I work in the beauty industry. Massages, nails, eyebrows etc. I have about 4-5 friends who book me then don't pay. I don't mind as a one off but these so called friends are asking every few weeks. It's really starting to piss me off. Would I be unreasonable to say" hey this is my living I need paying" even if I give them discounted prices. I don't want to sound greedy but due to covid I have lost a lot of money. No government help as business was only set up Feb 2020.

OP posts:
Hanab · 27/05/2021 08:55

Next time they want a service please do tell them the cost .. they can either go ahead or not .. cheeky fuckers..

Bubblebu · 27/05/2021 09:09

it is not just these "friends" who are doing you a dis service.
I say this with your best interests at heart.
It is you who is helping to damage your business.
Because as soon as it gets out that you do some work (especially repeat work) for free, your reputation will take a slide in the eyes of others.
Tell your so called friends you are booked up. If they complain or challenge you tell them it is none of their business (it is not) but you might be doing other things (if they cannot "see" you working) like training, building your business online, making contacts etc - in other words you do not have the time to fit them in.

If they get snarky let them go.
i read somewhere "the only people who get annoyed when you put barriers in place are the people who got something out of you having no barriers in place".....
Good luck, sounds like you are great at what you do. x

Weedoogie · 27/05/2021 09:11

I wouldn't be telling them I don't do freebies anymore; I'd be telling them I wouldn't book them again until they'd paid me the money they owed me and that I'd never done freebies. Cheeky fuckers

OhRene · 27/05/2021 09:13

I have a friend who's a hairdresser. She's really cheap already (not mates rates) so when she's cutting my hair I give her at least a 50% tip as well as the full price.

A real friend doesn't take advantage, a real friend supports you.

Tell your friends you can't anymore as you're fully booked with paying customers

CuriousaboutSamphire · 27/05/2021 09:16

I have about 4-5 friends who book me then don't pay. Have you ever properly billed them, texted them the cost, discussed it when they booked?

Next time one of them calls to book just say No! Tell them that you are upset that they didn't ever think to pay you, that this is how you earn your living!

If the freebies were never explicitly offered, they have taken advantage and in the absence of them paying what they owe you must decide that you won't be giving them any more of your time!

And that's 4 or 5 people who really are not your friends! So drop them, chipped nails and all!

Original poster
ButchersPleasure · 27/05/2021 09:21

Wow thank you for all your replies and great advice.
I am putting together a group of my regulars and "friends" and emailing a price list. Let's see if any of them reply.
Thanks again.

OP posts:
shivawn · 27/05/2021 09:24

These friends know damn well they're taking advantage, I'd be mortified if I were them!

osbertthesyrianhamster · 27/05/2021 09:26

@ButchersPleasure

Wow thank you for all your replies and great advice. I am putting together a group of my regulars and "friends" and emailing a price list. Let's see if any of them reply. Thanks again.
Why? Your regulars can find your prices without your sending them out; they can ask. These 'friends' are not friends. Just grow a spine and tell them, when next they try to book, that you're booked up already with other customers and rinse and repeat. Honestly, you shouldn't be running a business without some serious assertiveness training. These CFers know they should pay you, but they don't care. Get that through your head. NO real friend would do this to their friend.
Crocky · 27/05/2021 09:33

I have a hobby that I considered turning into a business at one point. Started doing it on the side of my usual job. I realised how useless I was at asking for and getting payment from people. Gave up the business idea and stuck to it as a hobby.
So my question to you is is this your business or just a hobby. If it’s your business then you need to get tough and start charging. These people are not being good friends 😁

Sssloou · 27/05/2021 09:34

I would be getting rid of these ‘friends’ full stop from your life?

These are not a mutual, respectful, supportive or kind people to have in your life.

You started a business that everyone knows has been hard hit by lockdown and they repeatedly exploit you?!?

Don’t send something to a wider group of good customers if you were not already planning to.

AdoraBell · 27/05/2021 09:40

My Pilates teacher did a free class on line at the beginning of lockdown but made it clear that all future classes would be X price and said “ I have to make a living guys”

Use that line for anyone who expects not to pay. Also, as suggested, use the bank transfer first.

moynomore · 27/05/2021 09:42

@pepsicolagirl

A friend does not expect freebies. A friend, one who cares about you, wants your business to thrive and is happy to support that by paying full price.

Rinse and repeat.
The sooner you learn it the better x

This is so true. They are the bad friend, not you OP for refusing the freebies!
Whitchurch · 27/05/2021 09:44

It's down to you though isn't it? Next time any of them contact you just tell them clearly that you will be asking for payment from now on. I'd also explain that you take payment on arrival as it is easier for you, leaving you go get on with your Covid precautions as they are leaving. If you take payment after they'll be saying that they'll transfer the money later, or pay you next week...

Jellycatspyjamas · 27/05/2021 09:45

That’s not friendship - they should want to pay you properly for your time, expertise and materials. Next time they ask to book I’d get payment up front, explain they’re taking the place of a paying c

notacooldad · 27/05/2021 09:46

I am putting together a group of my regulars and "friends" and emailing a price list. Let's see if any of them reply.
Seriously don't do this.
My youngest son has his own business. When he started out all sorts of people came out of the wood work asking for discounts and favours. He ended up tying himself in knots trying to keep everyone happy. People he kind of knew in the pub were trying to pull the ' mates rates'
He now has a one price for all and will offer discounts on multiple jobs booked at the same time. Life is much simpler now and he has a strong returning customer base.
You are a professional, act like one.

Minstermouse · 27/05/2021 09:47

Do you have a price list?
Drop them a confirm with price list attached.

I wouldn’t expect that of a friend, as you say it’s your living.

MagnoliaBeige · 27/05/2021 09:48

Next time they book you, simply reply back with confirmation of what the cost will be and ask if they want your bank details or will be paying cash on the day. If they question it, they’re not your friend.

LepusLepus · 27/05/2021 09:56

From now on when ever they call, tell them your payment has changed with immediate effect. Give them your payment details and tell them it is payable immediately. No discounts unless you choose to, not if they ask or demand one. You are a business, so act like one.

I'm having my haircut this morning by a friend. I have already paid her and given a 25% extra on top because she's good at her work, never lets me down and I appreciate her.

Sssloou · 27/05/2021 10:29

It would be really helpful for you to tot up what repeated treatments each of these have had over the last year - keep that figure bold and front of mind when you think of that friend - eg “Sandra £185” .... and decide do you want this to be “Sandra £385”.

You have got yourself into an uncomfortable position but now is the moment to tackle it head on. You will feel powerful when you do. Go for it. Be brave.

Cocomarine · 27/05/2021 10:33

@ButchersPleasure

Wow thank you for all your replies and great advice. I am putting together a group of my regulars and "friends" and emailing a price list. Let's see if any of them reply. Thanks again.
What’s the point in that? Why would they reply?

Is that some passive aggressive stunt to make FIVE people think, “oh, it’s her business, maybe I should have paid for those treatments, better grab my chequebook...”

It. Will. Not. Work.

They don’t care about your price list because they don’t want to pay. Even if prepared to pay on future (which I doubt) how is sending them a price list going to prompt any kind of reply?

Did you ever tell them to pay? Or did they say, “oooh, could you do my nails?” which in your mind was an appointment, and in theirs was a freebie?

You’re not going to get your money back in retrospect if you didn’t ask for it in the first place.

Next time they “book”, then tell them at point of booking, “nails and massage - that’s £45 - I’m accepting cash or Paypal.”

JackieTheFart · 27/05/2021 10:51

I don't want to sound greedy

STOP IT!! This is your livelihood, don’t feel guilty for wanting to be paid!

And I agree with others - you’re being far too passive. Don’t do mates rates, don’t do freebies, just don’t!

Anyone that asks say that you have appointment times and you need a deposit and how much the full treatment is. If they question this, you can just tell them they’ve had a freebie but you can’t do that regularly.

If you’re going to work for yourself you need to be much more strict on this else you and only you lose out.

AryaStarkWolf · 27/05/2021 10:54

They're not really your friends are they? One of my best friends is a Beautician and she always says don't worry about it after doing something for me but I always insist she takes the money, I'd rather be supporting her than go to a random salon and give them my money

thelegohooverer · 27/05/2021 11:49

I agree that they’re not your friends. Friends would support your business, not take advantage.

But I’m going to guess that you wouldn’t be in this situation if you were comfortable to call them out on it. So I’m going to suggest as a first step, say that you’re fully booked and you have to prioritise paying customers.

FeatheredHope · 27/05/2021 11:52

These are not your friends. Particularly after the year we’ve all had.

Sparklesocks · 27/05/2021 11:58

That’s very cheeky of your friends, and unfair to put you in a position where you need to chase them for money - probably knowing full well you’ll feel uncomfortable to do so and so that might put you off even asking. It’s taking advantage.

It’s fine to be firm and upfront about cost and chase that if they don’t pay - or either insist on payment upfront or stop doing treatments for them if they’re repeat offenders.

Good friends don’t take the piss. It’s not greedy to expect what you’re owed. But nothing will change unless you address it directly.