To have demonstrated my absolute disdain and fury...

[MangosteenSoda]

... by signing off an email with just ‘Regards, Mango’.

Is it too much

When I'm really annoyed it's :

"thanks in advance for your prompt response"

Means - EMAIL ME BACK FORTHWITH YOU ABSOLUTE CUNT

I had a work to-do-ment yesterday with someone over Email.

The final Email was signed 'Best'...& no name - we both remained excruciatingly professional and polite- but I knew then that even though the other party was backing down -he wanted it known he was seriously pissed off!

It would be totally lost on me, I don't consciously read the final sign off on emails and definitely don't spend any time interpreting them. Looking through my latest received emails I have almost all "best wishes" with about 10% "regards", at least one of the "regards" ones is genuinely thanking me for help I have given. Almost all my correspondents are non-british. I have one "best regards" from someone telling me about something very annoying they have done.

And if I put- I think there may have been a bit of a mix up.

It means 'How can you not understand this simple task-sort your fucking shit out-it is not difficult!'

This is so funny!

It's good to know why everyone at my old job hated me

Where do we stand on "please note"?

I use it sometimes when I need to say "Please note that X is happening today/being asked for instead of Y which usually happens/gets asked for"

I hope people don't think I'm being rude.

My boss cannot punctuate and is barely literate and all of her emails are littered with exclamation points. I have said (nicely) that it comes off as either hysterically angry or hysterically happy. It’s tough!! (exclamations added for effect)

It was MNHQ who signed off an email with "Go well", I forgot who that was addressed to, it was a drama on the boards thing.

Now that was properly nuclear. I keep in it my arsenal of shitty sign off, haven't had the opportunity to use it yet.

There's nothing wrong with "please note".

Well.... could be interpreted to mean "For a change no one is pandering to your entitlement mentality" or more succinctly "Suck it up".

I always sign off Regards.
Life is to short and email annoys the fuck out of me.

@Camomila

Where do we stand on "please note"?

I use it sometimes when I need to say "Please note that X is happening today/being asked for instead of Y which usually happens/gets asked for"

I hope people don't think I'm being rude.

Context dependent.

Fine if it's something that people may genuinely need a reminder about - "Please note change of meeting date" - fine.

PA if it's reminder that is actually a kick up the arse or a piss off - "Please note that I am not the manager responsible for widget audit"

DS3 told me the other day that texting K as opposed to OK is very passive aggressive. I didnt realise text speak could have hidden context like British emails. I thought I was being efficient and I was actually annoying them 🤣

I once worked with someone who did less than the square root of fuck all. For various sensitive reasons she couldn’t be fired or even spoken to about her lack of work ethic. When she left, our Director signed her leaving card with ‘regards’. I remember absolutely hooting!

I be doomed. Years of signing off with Regards, name format…. How was I to know?

On a related note I had a Manager last year who successfully put the fear of God into her team by the order in which she put your name in group emails. For a variety of reasons she couldn't do a group list (e.g. Group Team A , Team B ) and over time you started to realise the order of your name tracked exactly to how much you had pissed her off.

I was friendly with her and mentioned this and she genuinely didn't mean to do it at first but it worked amazingly so she continued. The lower down the list you were the more ducked your figures were.. It was dead on every single time.

If you were in the last three you went straight to your uploads and started fixing them , pronto (she was actually lovely but these figures were important and not to be buggered up ).

One poor bastard ended up last for two weeks straight but he had gigantically screwed up through sheer laziness. I've never seen him so relieved when he got back up to second to last place
Totally subconscious for her at the start but a brilliantly passive aggressive fuck you.

@WarmSausageTea

I know the thread is lighthearted, but I pretty much always finish emails with ‘Regards’, the kind bit goes without saying, doesn’t it? And it always feels very old-fashioned.

I also don’t see the point in offering a ‘sincere’ apology - if it’s not sincere, why bother? Just make the apology and crack on.

I’m wondering how many people I’ve offended over the years.

All the people.

Although I can hardly comment- I have cut out all the "regards/best wishes" and just put "A". I see it as a show of dominance- the office equivalent of a peacock fanning its tail. 🦚

PPs keep saying that this thread is lighthearted.

I was being deadly serious with my brutal sign offs

Do you expect foreign contacts to be in the know? 😱

Is there a safe way of signing off without offending? I'm seriously considering never ever signing off anything, perhaps 'love you to the office door and back' could do? 😀

On a further note on email etiquette - I tend to use 'I wonder if ' quite a lot when I'm trying to be polite to senior colleagues who haven't done what they are meant to have done. As in - 'I wonder if you have had time yet to review the strategy document that is due to go to the Board on Friday?'. I am hoping it sounds polite while getting the message across.... but maybe not? I quite often attach that to the original email in which I have sent the document and asked for a response by last week. Does it make me sound like a twat?If they just did what they said they would do in the first place I wouldn't have that problem 😭

I feel I am missing something here. All of my business emails I sign Regards then initials. Personal emails I sign Thanks or Lots of Love. Am I inadvertently committing a faux pas?

I think Regards is fine for strangers so I would use it for sending a message to someone at a help desk that I had never met. However for colleagues and clients it is pretty much the equivalent of using a child's full name in conversation. That's never a good sign.

Oh good grief. I’m in Scotland and had no idea. I ALWAYS reply to landlady’s email with “regards, Jesus.” I hope she doesn’t know about this being pa either. Kind regards are usually reserved for people I don’t know

@possumgoddess

On a further note on email etiquette - I tend to use 'I wonder if ' quite a lot when I'm trying to be polite to senior colleagues who haven't done what they are meant to have done. As in - 'I wonder if you have had time yet to review the strategy document that is due to go to the Board on Friday?'. I am hoping it sounds polite while getting the message across.... but maybe not? I quite often attach that to the original email in which I have sent the document and asked for a response by last week. Does it make me sound like a twat?If they just did what they said they would do in the first place I wouldn't have that problem 😭

I draft my emails and then try and take out all the qualifiers and softeners such '`I wonder' or 'just' or 'a little'. It's more direct. I'm not assertive enough to just put Regards though.

I know a lawyer (well several)

The stroppier and harder his emails are the more likely is he is to sign of with "kind regards" It always makes me smile - he grinds people into the ground then signs off like that