My husband fell off a roof yesterday- broken pelvis

[SmileyClare]

Dh fell from a roof yesterday at work and has terrible injuries. An unstable break in two places to his pelvis and a broken arm. At the moment he's on an orthopaedic ward and can't walk and is in agony.

He's expected to have surgery in a few days on his pelvis. I'm absolutely worried sick about how he'll cope with the recovery (expected 3 months), him not working (self employed builder) and whether he'll ever be the same again.
I don't earn much and, we have teenage children.

I'd love to hear some positive recovery stories from others who have experience of pelvic fractures or just some advice from anyone. I'm sick with worry.

I’m so sorry.

But on the positive side I’ve seen many patients fully recover from pelvic fractures especially when they’ve been pinned. If he has internal organ damage it complicates it but if it’s just the fractures he should be fine in a few months. Physio and OT will get him up and walking as soon as possible after surgery and he’ll probably have rehab at home too.

Can you tell yourself over and over that you'll all be fine and there is a future for you and your DH and family, it's just different to the one you had in mind? I find that reassuring - there are lots of different versions of a great life.

Also, present the facts to someone in the know and don't presume he is or isn't covered by any insurance. They'll tell you.

And if you aren't sure where to start, ask citizens advice for some help. They're pretty awesome.

Our neighbour, a roofer did similar although he had many more breaks(both legs and back).
I think you need to prepare for it being longer than 3 months.
Do you have a mortgage? Can you arrange an immediate payment holiday with a view to re arranging when you know more?
Our neighbour has made a decent recovery although he is now a cabbie, didn't go back to the roofing trade.

Not quite what you are asking in terms of recovery, but for the here and now practical issues have you heard of The Lighthouse Club?
It is a construction workers charity that could provide you with practical help whilst your husband recovers. Please see the link below.

www.constructionindustryhelpline.com/about-us.html

I have had a less serious pelvic injury and I'd say at 3 months he'll be able to potter round the house, lift light objects and drive short distances. He wouldn't be able to sit at a desk all day.

To be lifting stuff on a building site/up and down ladders realistically more likely a year.

Good luck to all of you.

Hi yes I quickly realised after my opening post that it's going to take far longer for dh to recover than 3 months. It's reassuring that he'll at least be back on his feet by then.

I'm just trying to be upbeat with him and look at this in small steps (pardon the pun!) So now just concentrating on getting him home; hopefully in a few weeks, then aiming to be walking/hobbling about with physio.

Still reeling by this massive life change, very tired and stressed. I actually looked at the clock about 5 today and sobbed that he wouldn't be strolling in from work in his muddy boots. In the main I'm ok if I don't dwell too much.

In answer to your questions- no mortgage, we're renting a house, not particularly well off.

Spent ages with citizen's advice bureau and we will get our rent paid by Universal Credit thank god. The accountant is helping me with a claim on his personal injury insurance (fingers crossed there). Don't think it's really sunk in with dh quite, he seems to be on constant morphine at the moment.

Money aside, my main worry is how he'll cope without working on site. He loves the camaraderie of all his friends on site, it's all he knows really and he likes being the big tough guy

Everyone has been so helpful here. I've looked back several times at this thread as it has some great advice.

Sorry for rambling. Your replies are all appreciated.

You've done amazing sorting all that. Look after yourself. Its fine to cry you've just had your whole world up-ended! Have lots of sweet tea and biscuits. Hope you got some sleep.

I’m so sorry you are going through this. Something similar happened to a friend of a friend’s self employed builder husband.

He ended up taking some younger guys on and starting up a small building company. 5 or so years later and I’ve spotted at least 3 vans going around the village with his name on the side, so I presume things are going well for them.

I've no advice to offer, but I just wanted to wish you and your family all the best.

So sorry to hear this. It’s a terrible shock.

Once he’s home, take all and any help that is offered. PP’s suggestion of a rota for DC making meals etc is good. It will be a big strain on you as well as on him so do try to share out the responsibilities. I was in a hospital bed in the dining room for three months with a pelvic injury (with a newborn and older DC) and while it was awful for me to be stuck there unable to walk or even move, it was really hard on my DH. Thank god he was able to work from home for a lot of it, because I couldn’t be alone—i couldn’t even get DS out of the Moses basket or change his nappy for at least the first month.

Are you long term tenants? Could you discuss a tent reduction with your LL if you have a good relationship?

Prepare also to be surprised by supposedly good friends who offer no help at all and don’t even visit, while people you thought were passing acquaintances go above and beyond.

Wow @squeezingin that sounds awful with a new born. Are you now fully recovered? The doctors have told me dh may have a limp or develop arthritis a few years after but that he should still have a good quality of life. Your husband sounds like a good'un!

If you don't mind me asking, did you have physio at home or travel for that? I'm still quite unsure what to expect. I think occupational therapists will assess our home nearer the time to see if it's suitable and will provide walking aids, adjust our downstairs loo, rails etc and we have to sort out a bed downstairs.
I'm going to try to buy one second hand I think. Did you need a specific mattress, like a memory foam one?

With regards to our landlord, he's been great. He was understanding when we got behind with rent during the first lockdown, so I don't want to push our luck. He's sending a friend of his out to look at putting a ramp to the front and back door which will really help.

At the moment, friends have been great- asking after him most days and saying "if there's anything I can do.." whether that drops off when the novelty of our situation wears off I don't know!

Dh's work mates got a little collection of cash together to tide our family over for a couple of weeks which was very touching. They're asking to visit but of course can't go to the hospital in these covid times.

I've no idea if or how dh will return to construction. He may be able to go into health and safety training provider capacity as he has several qualifications in that area (ironically ) hollow laugh.

At the moment, I just want him back, it feels very lonely being the adult on my own here!

Sorry to hear about this OP. Only advice I have is to not buy a bed just yet as they may provide you with a hospital bed and mattress (a bed that can go up and down/raise the head etc) when he’s discharged, at least for him to use initially.

I would consider having a hospital bed downstairs if you have room. The hospital or community OT can arrange that. It will be height adjustable as well as having an appropriate mattress, and allow for any equipment he needs to move himself etc.

Hi OP- I’m a physio- worked on orthopaedic wards and in the community.

I see the OT’s are involved which is good- I was going to say don’t buy anything- most of the stuff can be ordered by the hospital or community prior to d/c. The team will do their assessments and decide what he needs. All trusts are different in what they will provide- we are fairly flexible and would provide a hospital bed too - if he needs pressure care or the profiling function of the bed then they may provide one though - I’d grill the OT’s closer to d/c!

The hospital would refer to community services for ongoing therapy- in our trust he would be one we know about before coming home and would see fairly soon after d/c - make sure you grill the hospital team to find out what they have sorted for d/c as again all trusts are different in what they provide and when once home.

Your husband would be someone I would have seen at home to start with. Sometimes once a person is able to travel I referred on to physio in an outpatient department but only when they are ready.

I would say if your husband was fit and well before he should make a good recovery. The first part is a long slog after surgery and waiting for fracture healing. We usually find that the real rehab work starts once home. The everyday life stuff is just as important as the physio exercises - transfers to loo, sitting out in a chair, walking as able and interacting with family, it feels like hard work to start with but if you’ve got a good support network from local services and family it will all come together. Take one day at a time and don’t be afraid to ask questions of the teams caring for him.

Do you have any sort of life or critical illness insurance? Work?

Dh is self employed and we have business insurance that covers any incident at work, and also insurance that covers us if he can’t work for any reason.

Any loans or similar that come with insurance?

Sounds like the LL is decent and you have a lovely bunch of friends. Don’t be afraid to ask outright for help. My DH hated asking but I got pretty comfortable with it! My mum has just retired and was going to come and stay to help but sprained her ankle badly the day before I got out of hospital so she was no use!

We hired a positionable hospital bed for the duration. I needed one as I couldn’t sit up by myself and to begin with I couldn’t even get out of bed unless I was partially sitting. It was just a plasticky kind of mattress and the fitted sheet was forever falling off until my friend took it home and sewed a piece of elastic to hold it on underneath. That friend was amazing throughout. The kind of person who never asked what she could do but just started emptying the dishwasher or folding washing or whatever. I now aim to be that person.

I did have physio at home but happened to know the physio (friend’s husband) and we had a certain amount of private cover through my DH’s work—and I used every penny of it for two years! However, the physio already owned a portable treatment table so I assume it would also have been possible even if I hadn’t known him. The hospital did send someone to the house, I think she came four times and that was my maximum allowed, but as I was still in the stage of barely being able to move it wasn’t really useful except for the company. I believe my main midwife fought for this and my weekly hour of home care behind the scenes, and only knew that I’d need it and how to get it because she’d previously been a nurse in that kind of field. She helped us get set up for home, and a friend’s sister who is an OT helped with advice on house stuff. I really do think I’d have had better treatment and follow up if it hadn’t been childbirth related though (we were discharged as soon as DS got over his jaundice, I dread to think what would have happened if I’d been a single parent or if DH had worked away etc), so I expect your DH will feel less abandoned and will get decent follow up. On the other hand, I was lucky that DH could arrange to work from home for a good chunk of the week and that despite feeling shut out of the system I had a midwife and friends who went above and beyond.

I assume your DH won’t need constant care, or at least not for long, so you’ll be able to work. I could more or less have managed for a few hours if it had just been me but it just wasn’t safe with the baby. I could hold him but only if someone else put him in my arms. A silver lining was that apparently babies love sitting in one room for three months and being constantly held by a mother who has nothing else to do

I would say I am nearly recovered, and was mostly there by six months. Minimal improvement for three months but then one day I didn’t need the walker to cross the room and then improvement happened fast. I can walk and run and ride my bike with no issues but I can’t sit at a desk all day without pain, which is unfortunate given that I have a computer based job, but wfh during covid means I recline on a complicated arrangement of pillows and try not to give myself carpal tunnel syndrome . Other than that I just get sudden twinges that aren’t so much painful as excruciating like fingernails on a blackboard, and it happens more if the weather’s damp or if I’m tired.

Shrimpseyelashes mentioned that it’s a hard slog to begin with. It is. Everything feels hard. We got all bundled up for a walk (my first!) one Sunday and I made it all the way to next-door-but-one before having to sit on the walker to get wheeled painfully home again.

That's really helpful. Although he's 52 he is fairly fit, not overweight but he's a big tall lump. I am a bit worried about being able to manhandle him in and out of bed as I'm much smaller. It's slightly more difficult as he has a right distal radial break to his arm so that makes taking weight on his arms difficult.

The OT I spoke to briefly definitely said I have to organise a bed for him downstairs with a supportive mattress although they will provide other aids to help him, a chair or commode I think? I will speak to them again to clarify this. I'm a bit all over the place with all the information.

Hi op, sorry to read this. Mine is a roofer and I've just shown him this, he's also 52. His public liability would not cover his accident, h&s was breached as you said. It's so unfair but the only benefit is sick pay which is rubbish, Dh broke his leg a few years ago. Dh is regularly asked by site foreman to hop up and check a roof with no scaffolding, they get cross when he refuses but if he fell they wouldn't take the blame!

Sending hugs to you both.

My first though from your heading was ouch! In all seriousness recovery won't be quick or easy but there's no reason why it won't be in full or near about depending on age. Dp broke his on his motorbike, and shoulder, I didn't know him then and the lasting effect is stiffness - he does have a desk job though. I would suggest considering retraining/qualifications whilst off is sensible, don't forget he might be entitled to esa/Uc if he can't work for a significant period, the job centre has specialist advisors to help people in his position (my friend is one) including funding for courses etc. You mentioned health and safety, I know someone who is a site inspector and he's wheelchair bound!

Meant personal injury insurance

@SmileyClare I'm inboxing you. Hope that's OK.

Hats off to you squeezingin for getting through such a difficult time I must admit I feel sick thinking about the challenges ahead but I'm just going to have to be a grown up and we have no choice but to cope. Thank you, it's helpful to have an idea of what to expect.

With regards to his personal injury insurance, he may not be able to make a claim. It was technically his fault for going up on the roof. He's been kicking himself ever since (metaphorically, he can't actually move)

Motherof3dogs please let this be a warning to your husband! I know what you mean. There's been a massive push on construction sites to meet building targets and sometimes the guidelines are bent. That said, he made that choice to hop up on the roof. Sigh.

Thankfully we will qualify for some Universal Credit and I can hopefully still carry on with some part time cleaning. My kids have been quite helpful (as much a teenage boys are). The oldest is an apprentice electrician and has offered to buy his dad a new mattress with his wages.