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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not served alcohol with a meal.

336 replies

GingerFreaker · 25/05/2021 17:57

I'm slightly miffed today.

We went out to lunch. We being grandparents, myself and 19 year old grandson. We booked a table. We ordered a bottle of wine with our meal. They refused to give the strapping 19 year old a glass, because of challenge 25, and the twit did not take his driving licence.

It stupidly "spoilt" a lovely long planned meet up.

Since we can legally buy a 16 year old alcohol with a meal, am I right to be annoyed it was refused today?

A pub chain, if it makes any difference.

OP posts:
HangingOver · 25/05/2021 18:36

Fwiw OP hospitality staff hate this situation as much as you do if not more because people always argue and think they should be the exception when the person is just doing their job and following the law. I get ID'd regularly at the supermarket for my alcohol free drinks and I'm 33!

If you're vaguely near the legal drinking age, you carry ID. That's all!

Confusedandshaken · 25/05/2021 18:36

I've read the OPs updates and still don't understand why one person not being allowed wine ruined the meal for the other guests. Did he throw a strop about it?

My DH hasn't had an alcoholic drink since the first lockdown. We've had a few meals out since restrictions eased and him not drinking wine hasn't spoilt them at all. Not even for him let alone other diners!

Snackz · 25/05/2021 18:37

They didn't spoil the meal if it was your son who forgot his license Smile

Inastatus · 25/05/2021 18:37

@wildeverose

Spoilt an overdue catch up over a glass of wine?? Really??

And yes you can buy a 16 yr old
Alcohol with a meal, but it has to be cider,
Perry or mead (thanks will) - so they were right to refuse you wine.

It's the law. Not the pubs fault.

YABU and precious about the whole thing.
In the middle of a pandemic,
Missing family and friends for months and you're stroppy over a glass of wine.

@wildeverose - it doesn’t have to be cider, Perry or mead, not sure where you got that from. A 16 year old can certainly have a glass of wine with a meal if purchase by someone over 18.
Thisisjaaam · 25/05/2021 18:37

Get some real problems

JellyTumble · 25/05/2021 18:37

YABVU. Why did it spoil the meal? Confused

littlepattilou · 25/05/2021 18:38

@simonisnotme

so because you couldnt have wine with your food it 'ruined' it were you driving as well ? Biscuit
She could, and her DH too. Just the 19 year old TWIT of a grandson who couldn't, as he forgot his driving licence (aka proof of I.D/age.)

Disclaimer, the OP called her grandson a TWIT, not me.

goshthatsawful · 25/05/2021 18:38

Spoilt the outing for him or for you?

Original poster
GingerFreaker · 25/05/2021 18:38

My son may be 19, but he has high functioning autism. He does not drive. He does not go anywhere without me.

Please don't assume he's out hitting the town every weekend and knows the ropes. He's not. And a wallet is a red herring as he doesn't really need one. I pay for him. Unfortunately, it was in his other jacket.

But he was a cutely embarrassed, as was I, tbh, by the way he was spoken to. And having to deal with that, in public, can spoil what should be a pleasant meet up.

OP posts:
sadperson16 · 25/05/2021 18:38

Gosh, OP, dont suppose you will be back here in a hurry.

SunshineCake · 25/05/2021 18:39

Yes, it was stupid you let it spoil the meal.

KenAdams · 25/05/2021 18:39

His fault. I'm 36 and still make sure I have my licence on me if I'm going out drinking.

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 25/05/2021 18:39

If not having alcohol with 1 meal spoilt your day, o suggest you get help with your dependence on alcohol.

This would be a minor irritation in most people's worlds and its your grandsons fault. Get him a wallet for Christmas.

RightOnTheEdge · 25/05/2021 18:40

YABU! Your grandson should have been prepared with his ID. I work in a pub chain and we only serve alcohol to over 18s. No alcohol with a meal for under 18s.
They are very hot on reminding us about challenge 25.

I have been working all day today and it has been so stressful. I totally got shouted at by a woman who I apologised to at least ten times and tried to calmly explain that the situation/policy was not my fault and I was trying my best but she just kept shouting in my face.

I really hope that you did not take it out on the person doing their job because your family can't enjoy a meal without alcohol.

Librariesmakeshhhhappen · 25/05/2021 18:40

@DeeleysMum

What? You only need to be 18 to drink. Challenge 25 is the rule that they must ask for ID if you look under 25 years old, because some teenagers can look a little bit older than they are.

CeibaTree · 25/05/2021 18:40

This doesn't make any sense - we often drink at lunchtimes when we have the DC with us. Are some pubs not serving alcohol if the whole table isn't over 18?

littlepattilou · 25/05/2021 18:41

@GingerFreaker

My son may be 19, but he has high functioning autism. He does not drive. He does not go anywhere without me.

Please don't assume he's out hitting the town every weekend and knows the ropes. He's not. And a wallet is a red herring as he doesn't really need one. I pay for him. Unfortunately, it was in his other jacket.

But he was a cutely embarrassed, as was I, tbh, by the way he was spoken to. And having to deal with that, in public, can spoil what should be a pleasant meet up.

............drip, drip, drip, drip, drip feed.............. Wink
Tulipomania · 25/05/2021 18:41

It's very annoying, but they are just doing their job.

DS is 19, and was at school with the daughter of our local pub landlady, so she knows exactly how old he is. She still won't serve him alcohol when he comes out with us if he doesn't bring ID with him. He has learned to remember his ID.

lockdownalli · 25/05/2021 18:41

One bottle of wine between 6 does not turn any of us into raging alcoholics

No of course not. The fact it spoiled the whole lunch that one of the party couldn't have a glass is really odd though. It makes it sound like you cannot conceive enjoyment at a meal without alcohol. That's what is concerning.

Spaceash · 25/05/2021 18:42

I am surprised you are getting such a hard time (although "spoilt" might be over egging it a bit), I would find it annoying too! I thought alcohol served with food had different rules anyway? It's not like trying to buy in a supermarket.

Clymene · 25/05/2021 18:42

@GingerFreaker

My son may be 19, but he has high functioning autism. He does not drive. He does not go anywhere without me.

Please don't assume he's out hitting the town every weekend and knows the ropes. He's not. And a wallet is a red herring as he doesn't really need one. I pay for him. Unfortunately, it was in his other jacket.

But he was a cutely embarrassed, as was I, tbh, by the way he was spoken to. And having to deal with that, in public, can spoil what should be a pleasant meet up.

So that's your fault for not checking. It's not the pub's because they could lose their licence. I'm guessing that's not what you'd want to happen.

I also have a child with HFA. I know it's frustrating at times but it really wasn't the pubs fault.

Funnyface1 · 25/05/2021 18:42

That's a lot of importance to place on a glass of wine. Does it really matter that much?

If he's so dependant on you perhaps you should check he's remembered things like this from now on.

Bluntness100 · 25/05/2021 18:42

So many questions, enquiring minds need to know.

Why only one bottle between six people? That’s really tight. A small glass each?
Why was it ruined becayse your grandson forgot his licence and had to habe soft drinks? He’s 19 he should have known better. He can do a meal without a tiny glass of wine. It’s hardly like you were all partying. It was a few sips each.

Oh and when my daughter did this, I just ordered an extra glass of wine, and she a coke , so I had two glasses of wine, and her her coke, and rhen she drank my extra glass of wine, no one was watching the table.

I do recall going into a wine bar with her before a meal once, when she was about twenty and the manager said to the bar maid, “ id the young one” in a mock whisper. I looked at him and said “she’s hardly going to Id the old one is she? And I’m fairly sure my daughter is older than your barmaid” .

The barmaid nodded and said “I think she is older than me” and she was. 😂😂😂

Librariesmakeshhhhappen · 25/05/2021 18:43

Why couldnt the rest of you have a drink? If it's a family friendly pub, then there will be kids there. Adults can still drink.

Or did you all say no because they wouldn't serve him? Sort of cutting off your noise to spite your face. He could have just had a soft drink.

lockdownalli · 25/05/2021 18:43

drip, drip, drip, drip, drip feed..

Of course.