Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not served alcohol with a meal.

336 replies

GingerFreaker · 25/05/2021 17:57

I'm slightly miffed today.

We went out to lunch. We being grandparents, myself and 19 year old grandson. We booked a table. We ordered a bottle of wine with our meal. They refused to give the strapping 19 year old a glass, because of challenge 25, and the twit did not take his driving licence.

It stupidly "spoilt" a lovely long planned meet up.

Since we can legally buy a 16 year old alcohol with a meal, am I right to be annoyed it was refused today?

A pub chain, if it makes any difference.

OP posts:
ToadsThePeanutButterSnob · 25/05/2021 18:54

Unless they thought he was 15 it's legal anyway.

It doesn't mean they have to serve him.

Original poster
GingerFreaker · 25/05/2021 18:54

@bluntness100

That was exactly what the waitress accused us of planning to do, and threatened to remove the wine glasses so we couldn't.

As it was, my son had already ordered a coke.

This was all behind a thick mask, so she was shouting. It was quite the spectacle. And embarrasing.

I'm going to stop thinking about this now. I guess you just really had to be there. 😁

OP posts:
Mrgrinch · 25/05/2021 18:55

Who shares one bottle of wine between 6 people?

Lambside · 25/05/2021 18:55

Most 19yr olds will have been ID ed many times for energy drinks, fags or booze.
It's totally his own fault.
Then there's you making a mountain out of a molehill.

Hellocatshome · 25/05/2021 18:56

So order a small glass of water, drink it then pour the wine into it, or alternatively grow up and remember your 19 year old son not having a glass of wine with his meal is not the end of the world.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 25/05/2021 18:56

@Overthebow

YABU. It’s their job on the line if they serve underage. It’s your sons fault for forgetting his ID
I think people forget this too - waiting staff, bar staff and supermarket staff have it absolutely drummed into them that they must challenge people who look under 25 and absolutely cannot serve them if ID isn't produced or they will face disciplinary action. They can be sacked for it. It's unfair to make them feel shit for doing their job and it's a real pet peeve of mine when I see people getting angry with staff when they're the ones who forgot their own ID. It's annoying, yes, but the rules are what they are and individual staff members aren't permitted to show discretion or make exceptions when it comes to people not producing ID. To pressure them to do so is such a dick move.
Spaceash · 25/05/2021 18:56

@ToadsThePeanutButterSnob

Unless they thought he was 15 it's legal anyway.

It doesn't mean they have to serve him.

They have the right not to serve him, but I think the OP has the right to feel a bit put out too, especially if they were rude about it.
pigsDOfly · 25/05/2021 18:58

We just used to say he was 16/17/18

Well the previous owners were wrong to accept your word for his age.

The law is that if someone looks under 25 then they must be ID.

Serving people under the legal drinking age can result in the loss of the licence for the pup and/or the manager.

And the waitress would have probably lost her job if she was seen to be serving someone without IDing them if they didn't look over 25.

You are being massively unreasonable to expect otherwise.

Maybe at 19 he should be aware that if he wants to drink alcohol he needs to carry ID with him so he doesn't cause a meal to be 'spoilt'.

Bluntness100 · 25/05/2021 18:58

[quote GingerFreaker]@bluntness100

That was exactly what the waitress accused us of planning to do, and threatened to remove the wine glasses so we couldn't.

As it was, my son had already ordered a coke.

This was all behind a thick mask, so she was shouting. It was quite the spectacle. And embarrasing.

I'm going to stop thinking about this now. I guess you just really had to be there. 😁[/quote]
Well then she’d have to have shouted for everything rhen right?

Are you maybe warning ro your theme?😛

Librariesmakeshhhhappen · 25/05/2021 18:59

@ToadsThePeanutButterSnob

Because she felt like her son was being accused of needing a drink to have a nice time, being a heavy drinker type of teen. She was explaining that no, he doesnt go out drinking, he doesnt even drive do usually just goes out with her.

Hariboqueen1 · 25/05/2021 18:59

Wow you lot are like a pack of hyenas

toocold54 · 25/05/2021 18:59

Are you blaming your son for spoiling your meal because he forgot his I.D? Or the waitress for doing her job and asking for I.D?

You/your son is in the wrong for not having I.D.
I was refused lottery tickets and paracetamol only a couple of weeks ago because I left my I.D at home. It wasn’t the shop assistants fault though.

ToadsThePeanutButterSnob · 25/05/2021 19:00

[quote Librariesmakeshhhhappen]@ToadsThePeanutButterSnob

Because she felt like her son was being accused of needing a drink to have a nice time, being a heavy drinker type of teen. She was explaining that no, he doesnt go out drinking, he doesnt even drive do usually just goes out with her.[/quote]
So why did the fact he couldn't have a drink spoil their meal then?

Bluntness100 · 25/05/2021 19:00

@Hariboqueen1

Wow you lot are like a pack of hyenas
Vipers actually. Keep up.
pollylocketpickedapocket · 25/05/2021 19:01

@RickiTarr

Why would a meal be spoilt because the teenager - or anybody- has to forego wine? Confused
It would spoil it for me! I enjoy a glass with a meal and would be pissed off
lockdownalli · 25/05/2021 19:01

@Hariboqueen1

Wow you lot are like a pack of hyenas
Nest of Vipers you mean!
BigHeadBertha · 25/05/2021 19:02

Yes, I do think you are being unreasonable in this instance.

Your grandson didn't bring his ID so he didn't get served alcohol. That's the law or rule for everyone, not for everyone but you. There is nothing unusual or unfair about it, as far as I can see.

The employee and/or the business could be fired, fined, shut down or who knows what else if they didn't follow what they are supposed to do. Would you be willing to bail them out then, if giving you your own way led to that consequence for them?

Another way I think you are being unreasonable is in seeming to feel that the outing was spoiled just because your teenage grandson couldn't drink alcohol. I find it a bit worrisome that anyone would consider alcohol is that important and don't think it's a good example to set for a nineteen-year-old family member, either. (Where I live, the drinking age is 21 in the first place).

Sorry a damper was put on your special lunch out, though. Nobody likes that.

cariadlet · 25/05/2021 19:02

Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill.

I haven't RT (whole)FT so might have missed this, but was it Wetherspoon's? They're very strict.

When dd was 16, we had lunch there and she asked me if she could have a cider. When the waitress came over with the drinks (we'd ordered on the app) she asked who it was for, how old dd was and then refused to serve her.

I said that it would be legal for her to consume a cider with her meal but I was told that it was against company policy.

The waitress was polite, I accepted their rules and dd was a bit disappointed but didn't make a big deal out of it. There was no awkwardness or embarrassment let alone having the meal spoiled.

Dd's 18 now and knows that she needs to take id with her if there's any possibility of her wanting to drink alcohol.

UmamiMammy · 25/05/2021 19:03

Massive overreaction!!! A 19 year old missed out on a glass of wine and learnt a valuable life lesson, that it's important to carry ID if you look under 25 and want to order alcohol.
The drip-feed of him being autistic is totally irrelevant to the situation. My ds and dh (both autistic) are sticklers for keeping to the rules.

milkysmum · 25/05/2021 19:04

If he couldn't prove his age he couldn't prove his age.
I'm 40 and last year as a manager took my whole team out for drinks, at one bar got asked for ID which I did not have and they point blank refused to serve me. I had to get members of my team 15 years my junior to sneakily buy me drinks till we moved to the next pub!!

Librariesmakeshhhhappen · 25/05/2021 19:04

@ToadsThePeanutButterSnob

That's the part I dont get. And OP isnt exactly explaining. I think it's to do with being embarrassed, but the conversation shouldnt have been more than,
"Have you got ID?"
"No"
"I cant give you a glass. Enjoy your meal"

I'm guessing they argued with the wait staff and embarrassed themselves.

wildeverose · 25/05/2021 19:05

@Inastatus
Watch the first episode of inbetweeners and get back to me 😂

MagicSummer · 25/05/2021 19:06

I'm with you OP - wine makes the conversation flow more freely! However couldn't someone have given the lad a drink from their own glass and then refilled it?

LittleMimi · 25/05/2021 19:07

@GingerFreaker
I think some of the replies are a bit mean but you didn’t help yourself by not describing everything in your original post. You never said she was rude about it or made any kind of scene.

thecatwithnoeyes · 25/05/2021 19:09

My son may be 19, but he has high functioning autism. He does not drive. He does not go anywhere without me.

So it's down to you to ensure he has what he needs.

Swipe left for the next trending thread