Not served alcohol with a meal.

[GingerFreaker]

I'm slightly miffed today.

We went out to lunch. We being grandparents, myself and 19 year old grandson. We booked a table. We ordered a bottle of wine with our meal. They refused to give the strapping 19 year old a glass, because of challenge 25, and the twit did not take his driving licence.

It stupidly "spoilt" a lovely long planned meet up.

Since we can legally buy a 16 year old alcohol with a meal, am I right to be annoyed it was refused today?

A pub chain, if it makes any difference.

@SkodaKodiaq

N_OBODY AT THE TABLE IS PERMITTED TO DRINK IF ONE PERSON IN THE PARTY HAS NO ID!!!!!!! _ That is why OP is saying the whole meal was spoilt! Not because he couldn't drink! 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

I don't think that's true, otherwise adults out for a meal with kids wouldn't be able to drink. I drink alcohol when I'm out for meals with DS.

I thing what folks are missing is there is a difference between what the law says and entitlement. Legally the son/grandson can drink, but he is not entitled to. Each pub can create their own rules. The law is the minimum they need to comply with.

If you are 19 then you need to remember to take ID out. If you want your 16/17 year olds to have a drink with a meal then eat at home and stop expecting waiting staff on minimum wage to risk their jobs for you, and landlords to lose their license. Simple.

Both my DCs got provisional licences as soon as they were 16. Neither of them drive, but they are a universally accepted form of ID to prove age. They usually take them everywhere. They can be used to prove age at the cinema, at gigs (age can determine whether they need an adult to accompany them, or allow access to certain seating areas eg), child entrance fees or fares etc.

They know that if they want a drink, or buy alcohol they will be asked to prove their age. It's down to them to have ID on them.

If your DS is not able to remember to take his, then that is down to you to remind him. IF you had done that, then it is likely that none of the rest of this sage would have happened. When somebody else's livelihood depends on your actions, I don't think you can complain when they enforce their policies (which in the case of the Check 25 guidelines are applied in virtually every instance I have come across).

@PyongyangKipperbang

They refused to serve her the drink, even though she was with both her parents and over 18. We were a bit cross but let it be. I did however order a pudding with an extra shot of Baileys she she had a little something nice

@longtompot and how did they know that she was with her parents and over 18? Because you said so? Are they just supposed to take your word for it?

Why on earth were you cross that your server was doing their job in order to not lose said job. And why are you so pleased with yourself for potentially causing major problems for the server, the outlet and the licence holder?

Ok, even if we weren't her parents, we were still clearly over 25 and able to LEGALLY buy her a drink with her meal. I understand different places have different policies, but that is just policy. The law is the upper controlling power here. We did nothing wrong in getting her a desert which had a shot of Baileys on it. My dd has anxiety issues, and like I said she doesn't usually ask for an alcoholic drink when we go out. But this time she did, and she was shot down. Her brother has never been asked for ID in the same place, and he is a year older than her.

The law is the upper controlling power here.

Not really. If a company has a minimum age policy in place then that's going to be the deciding factor. Like with certain clubs being over 21 only

When somebody else's livelihood depends on your actions, I don't think you can complain when they enforce their policies (which in the case of the Check 25 guidelines are applied in virtually every instance I have come across).
I agree.
Sometimes people are over-zealous, like the time my mother got ID-ed but not me. She doesn't drive and didn't make a habit of carrying her passport with her in her 40s. There was no way she looked under 25.

But people complaining that serving staff ask for ID for those under 25 need to get a grip.

Oh shut up @Downunderduchess - the OP wasn’t suggesting the lack of wine was the upsetting part. It’s the way it was handled! RTFT!

@Inastatus goodness you come across as very angry. I’m fairly sure the point of MN is to be able to share different points of view. That was mine. I respect your right to have yours. Not sure why you needed to be so aggressive though.

@toocold54

OP: AIBU MN: Yes, YABU OP: drip feed incoming where there's lots shouting to further prove they're not unreasonable

I’m looking forward to hearing what else the waitress did.
Maybe swore at them. Or threw the wine over the son

Just looked it up

The age at which people are legally allowed to purchase alcohol is 18 or over in most circumstances. Adults purchasing alcohol on behalf of a person under 18 in a pub or from an off-licence are potentially liable to prosecution along with the vendor.

However, legislation does allow for the consumption of alcohol by those under 18 in the following circumstances:

The individual is aged 5 or older, and is at home or other private premises - except in Scotland, where there is no longer a minimum age for alcohol consumption.
The individual is aged 16 or 17 and the alcohol, which can only be beer, wine or cider, is consumed with a table meal.
The person making the purchase must themselves be 18 or over.[1]

Also www.drinkaware.co.uk/facts/alcohol-and-the-law/the-law-on-alcohol-and-under-18s

I would love someone to point me to where I can read about the refusal to serve alcohol to someone who is over 16 and with a parent and or an adult who is clearly over 25, with a meal, as I haven't been able to find anything.

Ok, a bit more searching and have found this from here www.allianceonline.co.uk/blog/2018/07/uk-licensing-laws-selling-alcohol-in-your-bar-or-restaurant/#a5

Under-18s consuming alcohol with a meal
The Act states that any person aged 16 or 17 who is consuming a meal is permitted to drink alcohol on your premises, provided their beverage was purchased by someone over 18. However, if you’re not completely comfortable with serving under this regulation or you find it difficult to monitor these sales, it’s at the discretion of the licensee as to whether they wish to permit these sales.

I completely understand this discretion being used if it's a group of teens and you aren't sure who is of age, but I stand by my views that it shouldn't apply when the 16+ person is clearly with someone who is a parent or of an age over 25 who are buying the drinks AND it's with a meal.

"My son may be 19, but he has high functioning autism. He does not drive. He does not go anywhere without me.

Please don't assume he's out hitting the town every weekend and knows the ropes. He's not. And a wallet is a red herring as he doesn't really need one. I pay for him. Unfortunately, it was in his other jacket.

But he was a cutely embarrassed, as was I, tbh, by the way he was spoken to. And having to deal with that, in public, can spoil what should be a pleasant meet up."

Then why are you calling him a twit?

longtompot
It's much easier for the licence holder to decide they will only serve 16-17 year olds with a meal if ID is provided. Otherwise you're relying on someone else's word that they are 16. They wouldn't take someone's word for being 18, so why 16?

Some of my Year 10 and 11 students could easily pass for 16/17 years old when they're not in school, and if they're dressed up some of the Year 11 girls could pass for 18/19.

Why should someone be expected to risk their job because someone else wants wine on their terms?

Don't be ridiculous. Rules are rules. End of.

My 19yr old Dd has high functioning autism.
If she wants to drink alcohol she needs to take her ID.

How do we know that the waitress assumed he was even over 16 , my 21 yr old daughter looks about 14 😀 , we’ve been loads of places and offered child entrance prices for her .

@Downunderduchess

Oh shut up *@Downunderduchess* - the OP wasn’t suggesting the lack of wine was the upsetting part. It’s the way it was handled! RTFT!

@Inastatus goodness you come across as very angry. I’m fairly sure the point of MN is to be able to share different points of view. That was mine. I respect your right to have yours. Not sure why you needed to be so aggressive though.

@Downunderduchess - except your point of view wasn’t different in any way to the many others who had previously waded in suggesting that the OP might have a drink problem - a ridiculous assumption to make based on her OP and unnecessarily nasty!

If you had taken the time to read her other posts before rushing in to make your very important judgement of her, then you will have seen that she was upset at the way things were handled, not that she is a raging alcoholic who needs wine to be able to enjoy herself! It does make me angry when posters just start leaping on the bandwagon to have a go. But hey, as long as you got your point across it’s fine! I hope you feel good about making someone else feel bad.

Wouldn’t have bothered me at all , sad if you need to drink to enjoy a meet up

My dd forgets her if sometimes, her fault so she gets coke! Meals aren't spoilt by the lack of alcohol.

I get why it’s annoying, I was asked for ID until I was at least 30 as the “challenge” age kept going up as I reached the current milestone! It used to annoy me but no one asks me anymore, which annoys me even more!

But YABU to have let it spoil your meal. After all this time, surely just being out with family is enough, wine isn’t needed to have an enjoyable time!

@Inastatus I feel ok about my comment. I still respect that you have a different opinion. You told me to shut up, that’s fairly aggressive (imo). I did not jump on any bandwagon, I do see that happening on here frequently. I don’t comment often, but when I do, they are my own opinions.

*@Downunderduchess - except your point of view wasn’t different in any way to the many others who had previously waded in suggesting that the OP might have a drink problem - a ridiculous assumption to make based on her OP and unnecessarily nasty!

If you had taken the time to read her other posts before rushing in to make your very important judgement of her, then you will have seen that she was upset at the way things were handled, not that she is a raging alcoholic who needs wine to be able to enjoy herself! It does make me angry when posters just start leaping on the bandwagon to have a go. But hey, as long as you got your point across it’s fine! I hope you feel good about making someone else feel bad.*

If her point was no different than others, why are you singling her out and not other posters. What made hers so much more annoying to you than the other people who said similar?

Her post was nowhere near nasty even compared to others on the entire thread. Your rant comes off as now nasty than hers imo. Do you feel good for possibly making her feel bad or does it not go both ways?

*more not now

Reliance on alcohol to the point that the absence of it spoils the meal, is a little sad I find.

@luckylavender

Reliance on alcohol to the point that the absence of it spoils the meal, is a little sad I find.

Oh for goodness sake, it is perfectly clear after pages of this thread that the boy is not reliant on alcohol. It was the circumstances under which he was denied a wine glass that "spoilt" the meet up.