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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not served alcohol with a meal.

336 replies

GingerFreaker · 25/05/2021 17:57

I'm slightly miffed today.

We went out to lunch. We being grandparents, myself and 19 year old grandson. We booked a table. We ordered a bottle of wine with our meal. They refused to give the strapping 19 year old a glass, because of challenge 25, and the twit did not take his driving licence.

It stupidly "spoilt" a lovely long planned meet up.

Since we can legally buy a 16 year old alcohol with a meal, am I right to be annoyed it was refused today?

A pub chain, if it makes any difference.

OP posts:
Coldwine75 · 25/05/2021 23:29

legally a child can drink in a restaurant with a meal at 14 onwards.

Nailingnow · 25/05/2021 23:36

I understand OP. It would definitely spoil my meal out WineWineWine

Changechangychange · 25/05/2021 23:39

[quote therearenogoodusernamesleft]@DeeleysMum challenge 25 means that they'll ID you if you look less than 25, bit that you have to be 25 to drink. [/quote]
Try having that argument with my local fucking Tesco Hmm

(Yes I know they are wrong, but unfortunately they don’t accept they are wrong)

FunTimes2020 · 25/05/2021 23:40

@greensnail

Why wouldn't they accept his driving license?
Hmm
Mummywantsaweewee · 25/05/2021 23:43

@Changechangychange do you mean they in your local Tesco don’t allow you to purchase alcohol if you’re under 25 on your ID?

mogsrus · 25/05/2021 23:44

any one can loose a licence quicker than get it, you never know what you are serving,i would not are the chance & possibly lose my job, where i work have to challenge anything one whom think looks under 25 it's tough

mogsrus · 25/05/2021 23:48

best wine or cider with a meal to 16/17 is legal to serve as long as over 18 purchases product

Changechangychange · 25/05/2021 23:53

So they claim. Doesn’t directly affect me, I am well over 25, but DH nearly got himself kicked out for arguing with the cashier that they had misunderstood the law and it was perfectly legal to see alcohol to an 18 year old. They insisted it was not 🤷‍♀️

They also refused to sell me mulled wine when I was pregnant “because it’s illegal, pregnant women aren’t allowed to drink” (which was not even for me, we were having people over for drinks). So no, they don’t have a great grasp of licensing laws.

Do a search, last time this came up there were loads of posters with similar stories.

Cbtb · 25/05/2021 23:53

@PyongyangKipperbang I think it’s a shame that the license restrictions are harsher than the law apparently intends. It’s seems to me to be enforcement overreach creating a culture where alcohol is so hard to obtain that it becomes such a item of desire it leads to unsafe behaviour when it is allowed - not expecting you to fix that of course - it’s just such a shame the enforcement patterns are moving the uk away from the sensible European model towards the disastrous North American one.

SkodaKodiaq · 25/05/2021 23:55

N_OBODY AT THE TABLE IS PERMITTED TO DRINK IF ONE PERSON IN THE PARTY HAS NO ID!!!!!!!
_
That is why OP is saying the whole meal was spoilt! Not because he couldn't drink! 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

Cbtb · 25/05/2021 23:56

German law where beer is allowed at sixteen but spirits etc not until 18 always seemed very sensible, creating a way for alcohol to be experienced in a safer amount before letting them loose on the whole lot.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 25/05/2021 23:58

@Cbtb

German law where beer is allowed at sixteen but spirits etc not until 18 always seemed very sensible, creating a way for alcohol to be experienced in a safer amount before letting them loose on the whole lot.
If Germany is anything like ours, the alcohol has already been experienced 🙈
Mummywantsaweewee · 25/05/2021 23:59

@Changechangychange I worked in a Tesco for 5 years. They invest a lot of time and money training their staff to understand licensing laws, unfortunately some staff do get confused and also scared because the consequences are drummed into you. They have frequent test purchases too.
You can always ask to speak to a manager. Whenever an over enthusiastic cashier got the rules wrong and the customer wanted to see me, I would usually serve the customer myself and then have a quiet word with the cashier and put them forward for refresher safe and legal training.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 25/05/2021 23:59

But I agree with the point and with the German style.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 26/05/2021 00:14

It makes sense now you mention he has ASD. And the waitress shouting must have been awful.

I do think the fact he has ASD was more relevant than him being “strapping” as that’s neither here nor there.

Slippy78 · 26/05/2021 00:15

@SkodaKodiaq

N_OBODY AT THE TABLE IS PERMITTED TO DRINK IF ONE PERSON IN THE PARTY HAS NO ID!!!!!!! _ That is why OP is saying the whole meal was spoilt! Not because he couldn't drink! 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️
Where did you get that idea from? It was only the son that wasn't allowed a drink, everyone else was fine...
PyongyangKipperbang · 26/05/2021 01:11

@Slippy78

The problems occur when there is a group of late teens or early twenties. If one doesnt have ID I would always refuse to serve any of them alcohol. But if a Dad is out with his son who has no ID then I will serve Dad a pint.

Its so hard to make the call, especially knowing that if you make the wrong judgement call you can lose your licence and your job. Yet another reason I dont miss running pubs! At least working in a supermarket I ID at the till, dont have to keep an eye on them after they had paid and very rarely have any issues!

Downunderduchess · 26/05/2021 01:40

If not having alcohol at a meal can spoil a family gathering then I think you have bigger problems than just this. I understand people might enjoy a glass of wine with a meal, but not having one shouldn’t be an upsetting situation. The restaurant was correct in asking for ID.

NowtSoQueerAsFolk · 26/05/2021 01:51

Your grandson turned very quickly into your son.

Interesting...

NowtSoQueerAsFolk · 26/05/2021 01:53

Ignore me. Think i misread the 'we being grandparents' bit

EncoreChangezLeNom · 26/05/2021 02:03

He was your grandson at the beginning, now he's your son?

UpTheJunktion · 26/05/2021 06:43

@EncoreChangezLeNom

He was your grandson at the beginning, now he's your son?
No.

The OP means ‘we’ being his grandparents, myself and my son.’.

I

Inastatus · 26/05/2021 07:51

@Downunderduchess

If not having alcohol at a meal can spoil a family gathering then I think you have bigger problems than just this. I understand people might enjoy a glass of wine with a meal, but not having one shouldn’t be an upsetting situation. The restaurant was correct in asking for ID.
Oh shut up @Downunderduchess - the OP wasn’t suggesting the lack of wine was the upsetting part. It’s the way it was handled! RTFT!
Iquitit · 26/05/2021 08:49

Part of the issue is that the public in general seem to think that because serving someone 16 or 17 alcohol with a meal, or anyone over 18 is allowed in law, the server is obliged by that law to do it, and that's not the case.
I've indeed dealt with people who were going to 'report' me (to who I don't know) because they thought I 'had' to serve them as they were over 18, had to as in obliged by law to do so. That's not the case.

In the course I did to get my personal licence, it was mentioned that you can face issues around your license (personal and premises) should you serve someone who's behaviour is already aggressive (even verbally) who then goes on to cause an issue where the police need to be involved - because it's seen as irresponsible to serve someone a substance that is known for changing behaviour, lowering inhibition and causing aggression, to someone who is already behaving that way - even if they're not drunk.

As I said in a PP, for the licensee and the server, it is not just about keeping within the law, it's about keeping the alcohol license you have paid a lot of money for, and that makes you money.
The general public don't tend to know the requirements and restrictions around licencing, because they don't need to, but they are very much there and real concequences exist from breaking them.

Before lockdown a fairly local place lost their license, they hadn't done anything illegal, the holder had posted some questionable things on social media, and been involved in some issues that were morally wrong. The licencing team objected to the license on the grounds that the holder wasn't a fit and responsible person to hold an alcohol license. None of the issues were directly around alcohol, but with a revoked license, the business closed.

I think it's wrong, personally, to load other people's behaviour when they drink, onto someone else and expect them to take the concequences, but it's a more effective way of controlling it, as you're talking about loss of jobs and livelihoods, and as very little or no responsibility is placed on the person who is demanding the alcohol - there's no concequences for them - people blame the servers and licensee for being overzealous and jobsworths.

CeibaTree · 26/05/2021 08:53

@SkodaKodiaq

N_OBODY AT THE TABLE IS PERMITTED TO DRINK IF ONE PERSON IN THE PARTY HAS NO ID!!!!!!! _ That is why OP is saying the whole meal was spoilt! Not because he couldn't drink! 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️
Where on earth did you get that idea from? What a load of nonsense, why just last weekend we had a bottle of wine with Sunday lunch at the pub and no-one even tried to ID our small DC who we're with usSmile