To feel lonely at work when everyone is speaking another language

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"Lonely" isn't really the right word but wasn't sure how else to describe it.

I am working in a team of 6 people and 5 of them all speak the same (non-English) language. They have all really bonded and have lots of conversations in their first language which is fine. However, as a result of them speaking a language I don't understand I can't participate in conversations and therefore can't really bond with them as much. They do speak in English sometimes but I think by default they slip back into their first language when speaking together. But sometimes I'll be with them and all 5 of them will be talking together in a language I don't understand. They all have really good English.

I just feel guilty to feel like this when I am English living in England surrounded by the English language and English culture and they are all from abroad probably experiencing cultural differences and grateful to be able to have some kind of familiarity through speaking in their first language.

Sorry if any of this was offensive, I don't mean to be. But has anyone experienced this at work or have any advice on how to handle it?

That is very unprofessional of them, I would raise it with management. Or do you feel able to speak to them directly about how it makes you feel? I understand that it might be easier for them to speak in their own language but it is very excluding, especially if it is just you that can't understand. In fact this exact thing was brought up in a meeting I attended yesterday and the staff are going to be told not to do it.

Could you tell them how you’re feeling. What language do they speak?

I know of companies who insist that other than in canteens or rest rooms, the local language is spoken. So not unreasonable to ask for this, suggest try an informal approach first.

YANBU.

But if management won't do anything about it, I'd don headphones and tune into my favourite radio station.

I don’t think that’s on!

You could say- “he guys, come on I can’t understand you!” And be upbeat about it. You could ask ask for them to teach you afew words here and there to build a relationship too.

But yeah fundamentally it is unprofessional of them. And it’s not really on in the work place.

YANBU OP. As a foreigner myself (who misses home) this is very rude behaviour.
Also in my country most people are trilingual . It’s considered very rude to speak a language that isn’t understood by every person in the group.

As an aside I never understood people moving abroad (refugees etc excepted) and staying in their own little culture bubble...might as well not have moved then

Are they excluding you on purpose, or do they switch to English when you join in?

YANBU
Exclusionary behaviour in the workplace is not acceptable.

This is so rude. If everyone has a language in common (clearly English in this case) that is the language which should be used.

It’s very rude of them to exclude you. I speak another language too and even when I am meeting with someone at work who also speaks my language, we still speak English because that’s where we’re conducting business! Could you learn a bit of their language to highlight that you want to be involved but can’t?

Ugh that’s awkward. I had three people in one team I managed from Poland, one over retirement age who had been here since ww2, one a very middle-class second generation Polish working mum, and one a young economic migrant who the other two disliked because they found him arrogant. They all argued politics in Polish and it was a nightmare! Eventually I banned all Polish chatter in working hours as it was causing so many complaints, the old lady in tears or waving scissors, the young man storming out for cigarette breaks to calm down.

If it is at lunch or before or after work, then ignore it. But during the day it is not very nice to exclude you. Mention it to your manager.

This is unprofessional, rude and could potentially be considered bullying theough exclusion.

If you are working in a company where the working language is X then x should be spoken unless there is a particular reason to use another language at a specific time. I work in a non English speaking country. Our company language is English and we are expected to speak English at all times regardless of the fact that almost everybody speaks the language of the country we are in.

If you do not feel able to raise this with them yourself ask personnel to do so.

Learn a few phrases in their language (try "hello, how are you" and "sorry, I don't understand, could you repeat that?") As you join in, haltingly and in a poor accent, it will grate so much that they will switch to English without missing a beat.

Is the company linked to their home country?

I work for the UK branch of a foreign company (say, Russian to give an example) and even in the UK office is it common to hear people speak Russian.
This is accepted as a good number of employees have transferred from the Russian office or are there on business trips (pre Covid).
Most company emails are both in English/Russian.
IT support you can choose the language (but waiting time always longer for English as less operators speak it).
Any meeting has to be in English as soon as one non-Russian speaking employee is attending, however informal chats are often in Russian.

It is inconsiderate and the height of bad manners to speak in another language in front of someone who doesn't speak it. When I worked in a similar environment and this happened, one of the senior members would remind them - out loud and in front of the entire department. "Hey, we should be speaking English with 'gingham' as it is rude." They should be told.

As an aside I never understood people moving abroad (refugees etc excepted) and staying in their own little culture bubble...might as well not have moved then
Really? You don’t get that there is a middle ground between never speaking your own language and «staying in your own little cultural bubble» ??
I’m an expat, I have met people from the country I am now and expats from the same country as me.
I discover food specialties from the UK but also cook the ones from my country.
My DC go to British schools but also to after school classes to learn to read/write our family language.
Etc
I think this is what most people do.

They sound very inconsiderate. I have worked in places with people who speak the same language as me, and we always switch to the language of the country we are in when someone comes in the room. I think you could ask them to stop and include you in the conversation.

Absolutely YANBU.
There should be common language spoken all members understand. It's rude, unprofessional and sometimes downright dangerous because you can miss safety warning about things like "carefully I spilled water, I will go get mop and sign".

Unfortunately, from my experience, the situation won't change. I would sadly look for a different job. Or a different team

Also able to have some kind of familiarity through speaking in their first language.
That's what time off work is for.

I feel for you op. A lot of warehouse and factory work is like this. It’s very isolating - even more so, when you are accused of being stuck up, because you don’t join in the conversation …. Because you don’t speak the language. 8 hours+ a day spent working beside but not conversing with your work mates is a total head fuck.
Then warehouses wonder why they can’t get anyone who speaks English to work there, despite good pay rates.

The only two things I can offer are : try to learn a few words if their language, if you know what they speak. Or headphones and some music. Finally, think of the money you are earning if all else fails.

Exceptionally rude of them. I’d speak to them first about it, if they still don’t change then speak to management. They should speak the language spoken by everyone in the room, it’s the polite thing to do.

Do you have a contract?
Is there a union?

How cruel of them.

I just feel guilty to feel like this when I am English living in England surrounded by the English language and English culture and they are all from abroad probably experiencing cultural differences and grateful to be able to have some kind of familiarity through speaking in their first language.

I have to admit I was relieved to read this as I thought the thread was going to be about people speaking Welsh!

As an aside I never understood people moving abroad (refugees etc excepted) and staying in their own little culture bubble...might as well not have moved then

I know right? You should say that to all the expats and immigrants in all the countries outside of the UK. They proudly talk about their expat and foreigners' communities where they stay most of the time; never bother to learn any other language and speak English wherever they go.