WWYD: Respond or not?

[Aneley]

After a complete disaster with a cleaner sent by an agency, I asked my contacts on FB for a recommendation.

One person (mother of my friend from Uni) left the following comment:
"Aneley, my dear... when you accept that cleaning the house can be both mental and physical recreation, you won't have a problem with it anymore. I'm speaking from experience - raising three children, whilst keeping my managerial job, farming the land and building a house - and I've never had a cleaner. It's all about smart use of your time and good organization."

Now, I've been having a rough time recently (which she doesn't know!) so my fuse is a bit short at the moment, which is why I'm trying to control myself and not respond. Am I being too sensitive?

On the other hand, is it possible that by not responding I'm becoming unsensitized to judgemental and misogynistic comments, if that's what this is?

For context: I've already had disagreements with this person in the past and quite a few times opted not to respond. She has literally zero insights into my life and schedule. I work full time, long hours and have a very intense job, 18m old DD and can afford a cleaner without a strain. And I don't think cleaning is 'beneath me' - I supported myself through PhD by cleaning and would do it again if I have to.

YABU: You should respond.
YANBU: You shouldn't respond.

If you consider her a friend then respond telling her you have good reasons for needing a cleaner right now and could do without the judgement

An acquaintance i would ignore

I'd just remove her as a friend, to be honest. I assume it's not like this is a relationship that brings you much joy anyway...

I’d respond and then I’d unfriend her.

I would simply respond with wow your superwoman, I on the other hand am looking for a cleaner which not only helps me but also provides employment in a very tough economy.

I would respond with "Thanks for the advice based on your personal situation. Perhaps something for the future. I guess we all make different choices in life, and right now I would really value a cleaner!" (emoji equivalent of breezy laugh if there is one!)

Delete her ridiculous comment and remove her from your page. Why entertain someone online who makes you unhappy? It's liberating!

I would have gone for 'fuck off'

Suggest she comes and cleans your house as she enjoys it so much!

I'd probably respond then change my privacy settings do she doesn't see my posts.

Ask her if she has altitude sickness.....

@skirk64

Does she have any weaknesses you could perhaps target in retaliation? Maybe her daughter (your friend) had mental health problems or got involved in drugs or something at university, anything like that? You need to find an area where she has not been perfect then attack her with that, saying that if she'd spent less time cleaning and more time working on x/y/z she wouldn't have screwed up so much.

If you want to end your friendship with her son/daughter then do this! Geez

'Great to hear you enjoy it so much-can you let me know which day of the month works best for you to come and do mine. Let me know!'

I'd really with this:

Insert friend's name my dear... when you accept that PAYING SOMEONE TO CLEAN MY HOUSE can be both mental and physical recreation, you won't have a problem with it anymore. I'm speaking from experience - raising my child, working long hours in a good job. It's all about smart use of your time and good organization."

Gobsmacked by this.
I mean it's the perfect time for 'you do you' isn't it?
Might keep her as a 'friend' for the bants tho' just respond each time with a laugh emoji.
Awful.

I guess I'm a bit sentimental about my friendship with her daughter back in the days... admittedly, that friendship is now very sporadic and loose - I'm still fond of her but not more that that. That's also why I hesitate to remove her, even though I never liked her - even when her daughter and I were close.

To be completely honest, I entertained anything from:
'Fuck off', to 'I personally prefer sex as a form of recreation over cleaning the oven, but to each their own' to 'Wow, impressive, not sure us ordinary women without superpowers would be able to tackle that list'.

It's all about smart use of your time and good organization.

Reply:

"I've decided it's a smart use of my time to organise a good cleaner"

Maybe her daughter (your friend) had mental health problems or got involved in drugs or something at university, anything like that? You need to find an area where she has not been perfect then attack her with that

Fucking hell!!?? How would her daughter having mental health problems mean she's not perfect anyway. What a horrible suggestion.

I'd just say. "That's great Susan that you enjoy cleaning, I don't judge you for that. I'm not sure if you are aware that your message comes across as judgemental and haughty? Maybe you could work on that as I'm sure some people would find your comments quite offensive"

Then block/delete or whatever

I would just unfriend her entirely.

@FirmlyRooted, @VanceRefridgeration, @Dogscanteatonions LOVE your suggestions!!!

I wouldn't respond on facebook but I would put her on restricted contacts and phase her out, i am not sure of the value of having a patronising judgemental person like that in my life, and it sounds like her fundamental personality rather than one specific annoying thing so I don't think there is much point in saying anything as it wont change

It’s probably my a good time to either unfriend this person or restrict way she sees if you’re uncomfortable unfriending her

She’s not someone you need to know your business nor interact with. She needs to be able to learn how to scroll on by but as that’s outside your control, your options are either of those two (unfriend or restrict view).

Oh, c'mon, she's a misogynistic, judgemental twat. Get rid of such toxicity in your life.

This is perfect:

I'd just say. "That's great Susan that you enjoy cleaning, I don't judge you for that. I'm not sure if you are aware that your message comes across as judgemental and haughty? Maybe you could work on that as I'm sure some people would find your comments quite offensive"

She's a bullying git.

I would have no hesitation in blocking her. That way she won't see any of your posts. How dare she. She wasn't considering your feelings when typing her shite so you don't owe her an ounce of consideration - block her and forget about it. So what if she's an old friends mother. Given your friendship isn't close I wouldn't give a damn about her mother.

I would seethe and then block in any way that a necessary. Don’t give her the satisfaction of a reply. Just let it disappear into the ether as though unread.

I'd just put: 'Good for you' with a handclap emoji and would carry on with my day. That will infuriate her!