WWYD: Respond or not?

[Aneley]

After a complete disaster with a cleaner sent by an agency, I asked my contacts on FB for a recommendation.

One person (mother of my friend from Uni) left the following comment:
"Aneley, my dear... when you accept that cleaning the house can be both mental and physical recreation, you won't have a problem with it anymore. I'm speaking from experience - raising three children, whilst keeping my managerial job, farming the land and building a house - and I've never had a cleaner. It's all about smart use of your time and good organization."

Now, I've been having a rough time recently (which she doesn't know!) so my fuse is a bit short at the moment, which is why I'm trying to control myself and not respond. Am I being too sensitive?

On the other hand, is it possible that by not responding I'm becoming unsensitized to judgemental and misogynistic comments, if that's what this is?

For context: I've already had disagreements with this person in the past and quite a few times opted not to respond. She has literally zero insights into my life and schedule. I work full time, long hours and have a very intense job, 18m old DD and can afford a cleaner without a strain. And I don't think cleaning is 'beneath me' - I supported myself through PhD by cleaning and would do it again if I have to.

YABU: You should respond.
YANBU: You shouldn't respond.

"I was looking for reccomendations not judgments, thanks anyway"

wow what a horrible patronising comment to have made.

if you've had issues with her attitude before i would unfriend her.

She's really made herself look like an arse. The 'my dear' part really makes me cringe. what a nasty woman.

YABU for still having this person as a "friend."

I have gone back and forth with this but the inner petulant child in me would respond 'Oh do fuck off'.

Laughing emoji and thumbs up but seriously change your privacy settings or block her.

'Are you applying for the role?' Honestly, I've seen your home and I'd rather have a professional in. Sorry.

"Fuck off"

and then unfriend.

I'd just be tempted to put a roll-eyes smiley or a laughing smiley and leave it at that.

Is she normally this condescending?

I’m going with a fuck off and block.

So she's the mother of a friend? I'd be mortified if my mum was doing this to my friends. Has her daughter seen it and commented? I'd be telling my mum to back off and shut up!

At the very least hide her on facebook, but probably delete her after posting one of the excellent suggestions by PP!

Laughing smiley, job done

Multitasking... multi failing... remember I have been in your house

@RoosterRaveUp - that had me in stitches! :)

Yeah, I think the time has come to remove her. I didn't do it for years out of (misplaced?) respect for her daughter who is a very good and nice person, but the fact is that she (my friend) never intervened or pulled her mum back or even mentioned it to me. Fair enough - we're all adults. It's time for me to do a 'clean up' of my FB friends.

As one other PP said - the petulant person in me really wants to snap back but I am aware that that would likely escalate things further and cost me more of that precious time (that I should be smartly organizing!) and nerves.

YANBU - I would respond though, just with the "Wow" response only and leave it there so everyone can see what she has said.

What about writing " X, your unasked for reply to something that has absolutely NOTHING to do with you explains so much to me"..and BLOCK.

Just say wow it's true. Not all superheroes wear capes. Just as well as yours would be covered in bin juice.

I would do as Bluntness100 suggests.

'Fuck off' is unnecessary. Something brief and to the point but polite works better.

@skirk64

Does she have any weaknesses you could perhaps target in retaliation? Maybe her daughter (your friend) had mental health problems or got involved in drugs or something at university, anything like that? You need to find an area where she has not been perfect then attack her with that, saying that if she'd spent less time cleaning and more time working on x/y/z she wouldn't have screwed up so much.

What the actual fuck!!

Thanks for your resume, I don't think that can be bettered so could you start on Monday? Give me a call and we can discuss payment. Thanks a lot!

Just put 😂 that's funny.
Then block.

Smug cow just ignore

Judgypants my dear, when you realise that most people prefer getting their mental and physical recreation in other ways you will realise this kind of comment is unwelcome and unnecessary. You are welcome to take on as much as you want. I am fortunately able to provide a cleaning job for someone in order to allow me to have the lifestyle I want and will use my cleaning time for far more enjoyable activities. Just booking a spa day on anticipation of my free time - enjoy your dusting.

@Dogscanteatonions

I'd really with this:

Insert friend's name my dear... when you accept that PAYING SOMEONE TO CLEAN MY HOUSE can be both mental and physical recreation, you won't have a problem with it anymore. I'm speaking from experience - raising my child, working long hours in a good job. It's all about smart use of your time and good organization."

Love this, go with this reply.

She’s a patronising bawbag. She should count herself lucky to get a polite and classy response rather than the type she’d get from me which would be a resounding fuck off.

I am at the idea someone else had of slagging off your friend in this argument for any possible transgressions. Or not even actual transgressions: “mental illness”? Ffs.

There is alway the US phrase

Bless Your Heart

Just put, "Lol, who's the mug? 😂"