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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not cover my bruises?

124 replies

PyongyangKipperbang · 24/05/2021 22:56

I collapsed yesterday due to v low blood sugar and was taken to hospital, I am not diabetic but I hadnt eaten properly as I have an ED (yes, I have accepted that I need help with this and am looking into the best type of help for my issues).

Thing is, I was by the back door, went down like a tree (I am told, I dont remember a thing) and face planted onto the patio. I now look like I have been whacked in the face with a frying a la Tom and Jerry! I am leaving them as they are, as I tried hiding them and frankly I think they look more obvious when I try to hide them. I have a swollen nose that I was lucky nt to break and a massive black eye. Not easy to hide.

My mother (and my boss, who didnt say anything but I can just tell) think that I should cover them up. I know my mother thinks people will think I was either a) fighting or b) drunk :o

I think its healthier to keep them uncovered as there was some broken skin. I am happy to tell anyone what happened who asks and my boss has seen my discharge notes so knows I am not lying about what happened so whats the problem?

OP posts:
BuffySummersReportingforSanity · 25/05/2021 08:35

If I were your boss, I'd probably give you the option of working in the back, not for the customers' benefit but so you didn't have to be barraged with awkward questions and awkward stares if you didn't feel up to it. But generally I think you should not cover them and do what you feel best to do. Hope you are feeling better soon.

sashh · 25/05/2021 08:37

It was far too black to cover up so I just left it. I actually got chatted up far more than usual which was horrifying.

A friend, while drunk trying to open a door managed to whack herself with a bunch of keys in the eye. She worked in a pub and had one guy tell her she looked 'sexy' with a black eye.

OP

It is your face OP I bruise very easily too and I don't cover up.

I had a car door catch in the wind and the corner caught under my eye. No bruise that day but hurt like hell, the following day I had a black eye. I went into town with a male friend, he said people kept looking daggers at him.

MintyMabel · 25/05/2021 08:41

A bit attention seeking maybe...

Oh wow. Peak Mumsnet here. She fell and bruised her face. If she’d broken her arm would a cast be “attention seeking”?

Iquitit · 25/05/2021 08:41

Two things jump out on some replies to this thread -

Women people should hide themselves away or cover it up if they're customer facing and have a facial injury/disfigurement in case customers think it was obtained by domestic violence, or other unpalatable methods and that upsets them. They're not being told that, they're thinking it.
My God, is this what people expect of customer service these days? That customers are so high and mighty they shouldn't have to look upon the afflicted in case they have thoughts, in their own head, that upsets them and they need the smelling salts?! Are we in Victorian England?! That anyone who's face doesn't fit and might make them think nasty thoughts should just change it?

And secondly, that domestic violence is so rife in our society that it would be most people's thoughts on how the injury was obtained, but instead of thinking that needs addressing, just think that covering it up is the answer so people don't have to think about it.

No wonder that it is so rife is there?

IAmFleshIAmBone · 25/05/2021 08:44

Nobody would ask a man to cover his bruises up! Also, it's not your responsibility if other people get upset. People have accidents it's totally normal. Hope you heal up soon and that you get help with your erectile dysfunction 😉 (sorry couldn't resist)

CoffeeCakey · 25/05/2021 08:46

People with visible differences, no matter how temporary should not have to hide them away if they don't want to.

BigHeadBertha · 25/05/2021 08:47

It doesn't sound like makeup will hide the bruising for now. But when it fades/heals enough to be covered with makeup, I'd do it if my boss wanted me to because it never hurts to be cooperative (and I wouldn't care anyway).

CoffeeCakey · 25/05/2021 08:48

@Gingerodgers

A bit attention seeking maybe...
This is such a bizarre comment. How is attention seeking to have an injury?
CoffeeCakey · 25/05/2021 08:51

@Queenoftheashes

Jesus Christ some of these comments !! Some people have permanent scarring on that face. If someone had acid thrown in their face do they never get to work in public again? It might “upset” people. Ffs. It’s like when parents complained that presenter on cbeebies with a limb difference was upsetting their kids. Do what you feel is best op.
Yes I feel very uncomfortable with all the comments about making customers feel at ease with OPs appearance.
NeverDropYourMoonCup · 25/05/2021 08:52

@NerrSnerr

I agree that no one would suggest a man with a facial bruise wear make up to work to cover it up. What if someone has a birthmark or a scar on their face? Should they wear make up to avoid upsetting customers?
The got sent home when he had a bruise on his cheekbone and a slight darkening around his eye. His employer said that a large man with bruising like that would scare clients because it looked as though he was violent.

He was. Just on this occasion, he tried it with a smaller man who had been a boxer in his youth instead of me.

cushioncovers · 25/05/2021 08:57

Yes but disabilities/permanent injuries are completely different to what the op is describing.

If I was served by someone with a battered face the compassionate side of me would automatically want to check that the person is ok. However I was served by someone with a facial scar or limb missing I wouldn't be concerned about their safety as it's a different thing altogether.

CharityDingle · 25/05/2021 08:58

OP, I hope you are okay, that's the main thing. No, I don't think you should try to hide bruising, tbh. Letting the skin recover is more important. Arnica, as has been mentioned helps the healing process.

littleburn · 25/05/2021 09:10

OP I feel for you, that sounds like such a nasty fall. I don't think you should cover it up in case it interferes with the healing, but you should take some time off to recover.

My DM had a bad fall and was left with a cut and bruised face and my DS (4 at the time) was so upset to see her like that he wouldn't stop crying - he was worried someone had hurt Granny and that she was in pain. If you're in a public facing role that might be something to consider.

YouPrettyThings · 25/05/2021 09:12

I currently have a black eye thanks to a head butt from eldest DC (my fault for tickling him!). I've had loads of people asking if I'm 'OK' including DC's teachers, friends, other random school parents, nurse while giving blood and the lady at the supermarket checkout as well as obvious stares from passers-by. I appreciate people are concerned but I really am finding it annoying now! I have tried covering it with make up - mainly because DC is so upset by what they've done to their Mum! But the bruise is so black it still shows slightly.

It's entirely your decision and how comfortable you feel. I hope you're OK

Myonlysunshine123 · 25/05/2021 09:18

@Maggiesfarm
I think your response is very kind and considerate . Smile

FairNotFair · 25/05/2021 09:22

I tripped over my own feet and faceplanted the pavement. Among sundry other injuries, I took a neat square of skin off my upper lip.
When it scabbed over, I looked like Hitler Blush

Deedoubleyou · 25/05/2021 09:23

Yanbu. If anyone is nosy enough to ask or maybe even asking out of genuine concern all you need to say is " I fainted and my face met the patio on the way down".

You don't need to mention your ED or even your diabetes it really is noones business. And I would echo what a pp said....if your manager feels like you shouldn't be customer facing with bruising showing then she could get you in the stockroom for a couple of weeks or even better sort you out with some sick pay.

Feel better Flowers

AntiSocialDistancer · 25/05/2021 09:26

@FortunesFave

I had an eye op once and looked like Mike Tyson had clocked me one. It was so enlightening the way people responded to me. It was far too black to cover up so I just left it. I actually got chatted up far more than usual which was horrifying.

I was in my 20s, quite waify looking too. Of course a certain type of man is attracted to that.

omg, this is awful!
anon12345678901 · 25/05/2021 09:27

You don't have to hide it and I would think it would be tender to put makeup over it anyway? I wouldn't advise telling people you have an ED (I know you haven't said you would), that's an uncomfortable situation and wouldn't be fair on the customer. If management wanted me to cover up in this situation, I would but that's me.

Peachee · 25/05/2021 09:28

I think it’s down to you and how you feel about it. If the attention from people, questions and concerns are something you are happy to confront On a regular basis then I can’t see there being a problem. If you would rather keep the ordeal from coming to the forefront then I would considering covering.
I can understand your dilemma. Hope you feel ok and they heal quickly x

Somethingsnappy · 25/05/2021 09:31

No, you shouldn't have to cover it up if you don't want to. If your boss has an issue with it, they should suggest you take some paid time off to recover (which sounds as if you could do with).

RubyGoat · 25/05/2021 09:32

If anyone asks, you fainted & got taken to hospital to get checked out. End of story, none of their business why.

poppycat10 · 25/05/2021 09:35

Just go to work as normal OP if you feel ok. Hope the bruising heals very quickly - arnica is good if the skin isn't broken.

You don't need to hide bruises to spare customers' blushes. I'm guessing some of it will be hidden by a mask at the moment anyway.

UrAWizHarry · 25/05/2021 09:40

Attention seeking, ffs.

Of course you don't need to cover it up.

CoffeeCakey · 25/05/2021 09:55

If you find everyone keeps asking and it's getting in the way of doing work you could stick a sign up that says "I'm ok, just tripped and fell on the patio". That way you don't have to say it 10000 times a day and can just point to it while you work.