Ok it's long, forgive me - need to unburden!
My DS's 5th birthday was this past weekend. We'd been hoping for a gathering in the garden in nice weather but the forecast was right and it was tipping down so we did a very small indoors thing instead. Shame because his last birthday was in full lockdown so had hoped for a nicer party but hey ho. We knew it was weather dependent so only invited the indoors-scenario people, but were hoping to add on others if it was sunny, and couldn't.
We have smaller kids including a very young baby, so the morning of the party was hectic. Trying to make the place look nice and get presentable while unwrapping presents and wrangling the kids - we could of used help from several nannies and cleaners! Kept on top of the downstairs but upstairs was a disaster zone. But DS had a nice morning, which was obviously the main thing.
DS's best bud has separated parents who are amicable. I am friends with the mum and have had playdates at her house, but only know the dad in passing. He's been to our house a few times but just to collect his son - we've never been invited to his. He didn't make it onto the tiny indoors guest list, but he called me in the morning - I was worried it was to say his DS couldn't come, which would have ruined it for mine! - but instead he was wrangling an invite. In the moment under pressure I said yes, that he could swing by towards the end - sort of thought he wanted to see the kids enjoying themselves or whatever.
So here's the thing: having been a CF and invited himself, does he behave well? HELL NO. Came earlier than I expected and totally empty-handed, not even a card for my son. Then get this - disappeared upstairs with the boys (who I'd told 'no going upstairs', but before he came) and stayed up there for ages, until eventually his ex went upstairs to get them down. No way he didn't get an eye-full of my dirty laundry (literally).
I am so furious and mortified. My unmade bed, my discarded towel, my nightie! I realise in a perfect world it would have been tidy but honestly at one point I didn't think I'd have time to shower...
We have had the situation at other play dates when the kids run off upstairs and I would NEVER follow without asking - what was he thinking?
Since then he's distinguished himself again by being the only guest not to say thanks for a lovely party. Nada from this guy. Unless he was raised by wolves then there's no mitigating circs that I can see and I think I might have to say something if I'm going to have to keep being civil to him.
Am I missing something? Is it not really that bad? And is it pointless saying anything? Urgh just want to throw up thinking about him poking around my bedroom!