To feel angry and disgusted with myself about this

[youcandoitbruce]

I was diagnosed with PND start of 2020.

By the end of 2020 I had gained 4 stone.
I’m not blaming the PND, I know I’m completely responsible what what I eat, but I ate my way through an incredibly shit time.

January 21 I booked in with my GP to talk address my overeating and have some routine blood tests.

Blood pressure slightly raised, BMI 40 but Blood tests all okay. I was given lots of advice to change my diet and the GP recommended couch to 5K.

March 21 I receive a text from GP telling me I’m eligible for my Covid vaccine, GP confirmed this was due to my BMI (I have no other health issues)

By this point I’m already 1 stone down in weight and doing well with the cough to 5K.

Booked my jab and received AZ in March.

Fast forward 10 weeks I’m 2 stone 4.5lb down and my age group are no longer being offered AZ because of blood clot risks.

If I have my second dose I will have to have AZ again.

I’m so angry with myself, I almost feel rage.

If I wasn’t such a fat fuck I wouldn’t have been given a vaccine before my age group and I wouldn’t now be in the position.

I genuinely feel so much anger and disgust towards myself right now.
I don’t care how much weight I’ve now lost, if I had gotten myself so obese I wouldn’t have needed a vaccine and I wouldn’t now be in a position of considering remaining partially vaccinated.

I’m really not sure what the point of my post is, other than to say I’m so utterly angry and disgusted in myself. 😡

This is such a weird thing to be angry about.

I had AZ in march, I have no risk factors at all for covid, I'm in my early 30s.

I've just had my second and I'm utterly delighted.

You seem to be making an issue when there is none.

You should be grateful that you were prioritised and were protected from covid weeks or months ahead of most other people your age who aren't frontline NHS workers.

Rather than complaining about the jab you got.

@AnneLovesGilbert

You’re not engaging much here.

If you don’t want your second dose then don’t have it. But it’s much safer to have the vaccine than to get covid, especially if you’re still overweight. You’ll be safer if you have it.

If your anxiety is getting out of hand have a chat with your GP.

@AnneLovesGilbert

I think that’s what the anger and frustration comes down to.... I DO want my second dose.
I don’t want to be partially vaccinated (or not vaccinated as 1 dose is irrelevant without having the second dose)

I just don’t want AZ again but that’s not an option, it’s either AZ or Covid.

If I hadn’t put on so much weight I wouldn’t be in this position right now.

I’d be offered Pfizer / Moderna for both doses like the rest of the people my age!

there is a very low risk of serious side effects from the vaccination, even in the under 40s, and research indicates that you're more likely to have side effects from the first vaccination than the second.
Congratulations on your weigh loss.

The odds are you won’t get a blood clot.

Keep going with the weigh loss - that’s a brilliant achievement. You don’t want to get long covid by not having your second dose then he in bed & put it all back on causing yourself more anger.

But you don’t know that. You can’t be at all sure you wouldn’t have had it earlier, and got the AZ, before the protocol changed, as happened to me and many many others.

@Zzelda

And that's what you've got.Having had no reaction to the first dose, your risk with a second AZ vaccine is no greater than it would be with Pfizer

Incorrect. There are 0 reported cases of VITT from
either Pfizer or Moderna.
There are 15 cases (so far that we know of) that have been reported following the second dose.

Weight

Be

(Following second dose of AZ)

@youcandoitbruce The blood clot risk is more with the first jab, in which ten people per million get the unexplained effect.

The second jab isn't considered to have as much of a risk, as you didn't have the rare reaction after the first one.

Well done on losing weight.

You could speak to your doctor for reassurance/discussion about the jab.

Stop beating yourself up about the weight gain. You wouldn't say any of this stuff to a anyone else so why be cruel to yourself.
You were in a situation, it was hard and you comforted yourself with food. When you became able you dealt with the situation.
Take the second jab and allow yourself to move on without all this angst.
Feeling horrible about yourself serves no purpose except to fuel negativity which as you know can spiral.
Reframe what you've been through, you've had an illness which contributed to weigh gain. This weigh made you vulnerable to an illness so you were given protection. You recovered from the illness and dealt with the weight. You've made yourself healthier through dedication and hard work and if there's vaccine booster needed later in the year you'll be back in the queue without the BMI advantage.

Loads of younger people were vaccinated with AZ before their age group time. Healthcare workers, CV, carers etc etc. Be kind to yourself, get the 2nd jab and forget about all this.

I'm 31 and until recently my BMI was 40 (I have binge eating disorder, diagnosed formally in 2010, and my weight goes up and down by stones depending on my mental health) so I got the vaccine as part of group 6. I got Pfizer - it's totally pot luck so there's no reason to be angry with yourself.

It sounds like you're well on your way to feeling much healthier and happier, and you didn't develop a clot after the first dose so I'm sure you'll be fine. The risks are minimal.

Well done for reaching out when you were feeling low and vulnerable.

There are 15 cases (so far that we know of) that have been reported following the second dose.

@youcandoitbruce That's 15 out of millions.

This sounds like your looking for an old Xcode to beat yourself up again.
Just get the second jab, carry on losing weight and get on with your life.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Excuse!

Stop being so hard on yourself. Think of what you’ve achieved, it’s awesome! Please don’t blame yourself, you were ill. Go and get your second AZ jab, the risk is tiny. My theory is people get more blood clots after the jab because they’re less active if they have side-effects. Make sure you’re active afterwards, even if my theory is bobbins, it can’t do any harm.

I am a vaccinator... just go get your jab. The nurse will talk it through it with you.

It was a tiny minority it affected.

The risks with AZ are fuck all. Much much lower than the risk of blood clots if youre very overweight. Ive had both my AZ. No issue whatsoever.

You have no reason to feel disgusted with yourself, on the contrary you have every reason to be very proud of yourself. The amount of weight you have lost in a short time, and your undertaking couch to 5 k whilst having a young child to look after is admirable.

Well done on your weight loss. Try not to be angry and hate yourself because it will not help long term. Look to the future. You are an inspiration in terms of weight loss.

Just get the 2nd AZ jab. Loads of us your age had to get it for underlying health conditions. Loads of us are wishing we weren’t in the group 6 risk group but unlike others, you can and are doing something about your health problems. Seriously, get the jab and get on with your living your life without worry.

There are 15 cases (so far that we know of) that have been reported following the second dose.
That's cases. How many deaths? What are the effects for the people who did have clots?

For heavens sake. Why all the hand-wringing about being fortunate enough to receive the opportunity to be vaccinated against something that may very well kill you without the vaccine?

Much of the world world would give their eye teeth to have this sort of “problem”.

You're being a bit silly. Your weight is a far greater risk for blood clotting, even with 2 stone off, than the jab you're having.