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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To keep dd off school because of her periods

88 replies

WildWestWanda · 23/05/2021 18:29

Dd11 started her periods a month ago and her first was very light.

She is now on her period for the second time and although she isn’t losing a huge amount of blood this one is heavier than the first.

She is upset and anxious about not being able to manage it at school, she is very worried that her pad will leak. I know she will ultimately have to get use to having periods and being in school but aibu to keep her off tomorrow to give her time to get use to it and for her to see that her pad isn’t going to leak?

OP posts:

TeenMinusTests · 23/05/2021 18:32

I think it would be better to send her in with change of underwear and plenty of pads and instructions to check at break & lunch (& lesson change over if needed).
But I can also see why you might think she needs some extra TLC.

Mumdiva99 · 23/05/2021 18:33

I think every child should be in school whenever they can be.....so no MH days, no birthdays off, no staying home for a cold.
BUT.....I remember the first time and the fear and the blood. I would have been so pleased to manage it at home. To learn how often to change my pad etc before going to school the next day. So...keep her home. (Is she y6 or y7? If y6 I would let her stay home 2 days if necessary.)

Original poster

WildWestWanda · 23/05/2021 18:35

She is year 6 and we have spoken lots about how to manage it at school. She’s just in a bit of a panic at the moment. I think once she’s had a day or two to see that she isn’t going to leak if she changes her pad regularly then she will feel calmer

OP posts:

AlmostSummer21 · 23/05/2021 18:37

These are moments your DD will
remember forever, the moments you showed her you had her back & did what was right for her, or not.

Keep her home, let her work this out when she's not scared of blood on her skirt at school or whatever.

Lolwhat · 23/05/2021 18:38

Keep her home this time so she gets used to managing it a bit heavier

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 23/05/2021 18:38

I'm a teacher and I would 100% support you keeping her off.

A PP has put it well - you need to have her back, crikey I'm nervous on my period about leaking I can't imagine how an 11yo feels.

A good start sanpro wise would be period pants. They're like nappies but brilliant as it's almost impossible to leak!

Original poster

WildWestWanda · 23/05/2021 18:39

@AlmostSummer21

These are moments your DD will remember forever, the moments you showed her you had her back & did what was right for her, or not.

Keep her home, let her work this out when she's not scared of blood on her skirt at school or whatever.

That’s very true. I always want her to know I have her back

OP posts:

Mandsy100 · 23/05/2021 18:39

I agree with pp. Keep her home. Just so that she can find confidence in managing itself and take the anxiety out of it.

HangOnToYourself · 23/05/2021 18:40

I think helping her find the confidence to manage her period as one off is a perfectly valid reason to keep her off school, it can be such a frightening and overwhelming situation for a child and could make her anxiety worse of you dont support her

Original poster

WildWestWanda · 23/05/2021 18:40

Thank you for all your replies. I will definitely be keeping her off. I’ve never heard of period pants but will look for some

OP posts:

VeganCheesePlease · 23/05/2021 18:41

We all remember being teenage girls and how massively big a deal our first periods were. I echo PP here about she will always remember how she felt when she opened to you about her periods and about how you helped. A few days during one period is not going to affect her badly at school.

megletthesecond · 23/05/2021 18:42

Yambu. Let her get used to the heavier flow at home. She'll be more confident next time.

MrsDThomas · 23/05/2021 18:42

I find primary and secondary school do different when dealing with this.

When I worked at a primary school there were a handful of yr 6 (and one yr 4) who had periods. Teachers were great in letting them to to the toilet and when.

Then DD had her periods in yr 8 and one teacher refused her a toilet break. It was pleasant and I got a call to pick her from school. If that teacher had let her go when she asked, she wouldn’t have bled through. I was livid and after a letter to the head and governors, they allowed the girls to go. Shouldn’t have got to that point.

I would send her to school, with a letter to her teacher.

Teapotsandtablecloths · 23/05/2021 18:44

Primark have started selling period pants if you wanted a cheaper pair to try 😊

HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime · 23/05/2021 18:44

Period pants are your friend, Cheeky wipes are a UK brand, cheaper than most other brands, work brilliantly and deliver quickly. Wear alongside other sanitary wear or all alone unless she is very heavy they will easily last a school day and won't leak. Plus for people who are squeamish with blood they are black so you can't see it.

It's best she goes in and learns they don't interfere with your life. DD is also in year 6 and I gave her female teacher a heads up incase she needed the loo outside break and lunch time.

MrsDThomas · 23/05/2021 18:44

Sorry , i mean it wasn’t pleasant.

Damn fat fingers.

nameychange · 23/05/2021 18:44

Going to second period pants. They’re fab both my Dds use them and swear by them. Modibodi do a teen range too. Mine two have the maxi 24h ones and then don’t worry at all

worrybutterfly · 23/05/2021 18:44

I'd keep her off. I remember my first period and leaking through during a lesson at school. It really knocked my confidence.

It was a horrific experience, by the time I got to the toilet it was through to my trousers and I had to spend the rest of the day with a jumper tied around my waist trying to hide it.

Aduckandachick · 23/05/2021 18:45

My daughter wears period pants over her normal pants and pad (though they can be worn alone). She loves that any leak will be fully caught and handled by the pants. Wish they’d had them when I was young.

Hellocatshome · 23/05/2021 18:46

Period pants are brilliant I wish they had them when I started my periods. She could always wear them with a pad if she is nervous so they will just catch any leaks if there are any. As she is year 6 I cant see the harm is keeping her off 1 day but I would make it clear she won't get days off every period.

musicalfrog · 23/05/2021 18:48

Too late to get some now but agree with period pants for girls, wish they'd been around when I was younger. Now they are an option I agree with the pp who said don't let periods stop you doing what you'd normally be doing.

OwlTwitterings · 23/05/2021 18:48

For one day, I can understand your thoughts.

Definitely agree about period pants though. They are fantastic. I wish they had been around when I started periods.

Fro93 · 23/05/2021 18:50

She probably doesn’t need a day off but I’d keep her off so she has the confidence for next time. She’ll remember it and you being supportive as PP has said. 11 is still very young bless her and there’s a big difference between primary and secondary.

My younger sister (14) still seems tiny to me!

As someone who was petrified of bleeding through (I’m pg at the min and have been wearing white and pink trousers for the first time in years!) she probably just needs to realise she can manage it, and will be less scared of that for the first time if she is at home :)

Original poster

WildWestWanda · 23/05/2021 18:50

Period pants sound fantastic, I too wish they’d had them when I was younger. She’s gone for a bath now but afterwards I will sit with her and order some.

OP posts:

WhatsGoingOn3 · 23/05/2021 18:51

I definitely recommend period pants, my 12 year old struggled to find pads that didn’t leak and felt comfortable so I ordered her some from modibodi-they do a trial and return (one pair only) but she’s found them amazing, no leaks, comfy and she feels completely happy wearing them, she doesn’t need to change during the school day. They look like normal knickers as well and do a teen range. A huge thumbs up from us!

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