Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

To keep dd off school because of her periods

88 replies

WildWestWanda · 23/05/2021 18:29

Dd11 started her periods a month ago and her first was very light.

She is now on her period for the second time and although she isn’t losing a huge amount of blood this one is heavier than the first.

She is upset and anxious about not being able to manage it at school, she is very worried that her pad will leak. I know she will ultimately have to get use to having periods and being in school but aibu to keep her off tomorrow to give her time to get use to it and for her to see that her pad isn’t going to leak?

OP posts:

Imperialheaven · 23/05/2021 21:53

My dd has had periods for years. Poor thing is like me and has horrendous ones. Totally ill the first day. I’ve let her have loads of time off tbh and feel zero guilt. She is genuinely unwell.

GrolliffetheDragon · 23/05/2021 21:56

@newnortherner111

I hope you are able to follow up on the suggestions made so it is the only time your DD misses school because of her period.

That depends on what her periods are like, surely. I had horrendously painful periods as a teenager, saw my GP regularly, tried a number of different medications, kept PMS diaries, all sorts, still sometimes missed school.

Anyway, OP, YANBU. It's mortifying leaking through to your clothes at any age, but particularly tough when younger, I think. A day or two to get the hang of managing it is perfectly reasonable. I was 11 and my DM kept me home for the whole of my first period, which by the sounds of it was heavier than your DD, and I was able to manage it fine after that and didn't leak in school. It also meant I spent some time just me and my DM at a time when a lot of changes were happening and that on its own was reassuring.

timeforanother1 · 23/05/2021 22:04

I'd keep her off but if you can keep her busy, pop to the shop, go for a walk.

Explain she's off as you understand she has not been through this before and needs to get used to it etc.

However, I'd get her out the house a couple of times just so she learns it's ok / normal to carry on.
Having you with her will give her the reassurance and support she may lack going to school for a day.
This will help give her confidence.

zekeandcamille · 23/05/2021 22:06

I would keep my daughter off yeah

Bubbletiers · 23/05/2021 22:11

www.shethinx.com/pages/btwn

ShamrockHillz · 23/05/2021 22:14

Oh gosh il never forget the day I leaked through my, all white, summer uniform. I was mortified. Wish they had period pants back then.

You should definitely keep her home and, as other have suggested, order the period pants. I got a pack of 5 on Amazon and they were very reasonably priced.

PeriMisabastard · 23/05/2021 22:14

It’s something we all have to learn to cope with. Unless she’s in a lot of pain or unwell then I’d send her in. The sooner she gets it over with the sooner the anxiety will go.

Get period pants for next time and let her double up. My dd started at 10 and was regular and had a heavy flow from the start. I never even thought about keeping her off school. She’s got 40 years of this ahead of her, might as well get used to it

montysma1 · 23/05/2021 22:25

Hve Hve purchased some in advance for my twins.
Assuming normal flow, can these be used without pads?
Tha ages kind of what I was hoping, as I utterly hated pads.
Tampons were a godsend but I never ventured into them until. I was 17/18.

mummy2CnB · 23/05/2021 22:25

We had the same situation a couple of months ago. My daughter (10) was so worried. I kept her off on the mondy so we could calm her down discuss with the school what procedures they have in place like will she be able to go to the toilet regularly to check so she feels comfo that she hasn't leaked. How will she get to the toilets with her sanitary towels without others knowing (she went in early the next day with a wash bag that they put in the disabled toilets where the sanitary bins are) her teacher said she can talk to her at any point. Can call me.to.pick her up right away if she did leak etc. That day to just get everything sorted really helped her stay calm.

meow1989 · 23/05/2021 22:41

You sound like a lovely mum. I was 12 when I started mine but in year 7 or 8, year 6 still feels so little poor love. I would let her a day off, have her manage herself with you there for support if needed to build her confidence. Then send her in the next day (which will hopefully be a bit lighter) armed with supplies and a bit of practice.

I disagree with the "she has to deal with it" posters - yes she does, but she's 11, in junior school and it's only her second time, o think cutting her some slack is fine. And as pp noted, she will remember that her mum was there for her and listened to her.

watingroom2 · 23/05/2021 22:44

Invest in period pants for her - they are a game changer

HRVY · 23/05/2021 22:59

Have you tried tampons for your DD too OP? I found the security of having tampons and pads so reassuring and helpful.

itsgettingwierd · 25/05/2021 17:43

@Shopliftersoftheworldunite

I think this is totally unreasonable. I have hideous periods and always have done (like medical intervention level of awful) but I’ve literally never missed a day of work because of them. Teach your daughter that they’re a fact of life and you just need to crack on.

Ridiculous.

I also have extremely heavy periods and flood through tampon, pad and period pants in 20 minutes.

I've had to take time off work because how the hell can I teach hour long lessons like that?

I'd have had to take far less time off if they didn't ignore such issues and make you jump through hopes and become dangerously ill before they'll even refer to a gynae.

Flip

1 2 3 4