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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask DH to decorate again (He finished today and I HATE it)

237 replies

SunflowerOwl · 23/05/2021 17:29

DH has painted our bedroom this weekend. The tester looked nice but now that it's all done I hate it so much I could cry.

We have lovely new bedding and curtains and the walls just spoil it, it doesn't suit the room at all.

I want to go to Homebase tomorrow and paint the whole thing again but I feel TERRIBLE. I'd happily do it myself but I'm pregnant so he didnt want me doing it (Might also explain the crying)

Would I be a total cow to ask him to redo it? I've not confessed that I dont like it yet as he seems pleased and it feels a bit wasteful. Or should I just try and live with it?

OP posts:

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NiceGerbil · 23/05/2021 20:29

I don't think a blanket suggestion that all women can and should do DIY all through pregnancy is fair- ladders later on are prob not a fab idea!

DinoHat · 23/05/2021 20:30

@NiceGerbil

I don't think a blanket suggestion that all women can and should do DIY all through pregnancy is fair- ladders later on are prob not a fab idea!

Painting a wall won’t hurt anyone - with few exceptions.

Cindie943811A · 23/05/2021 20:30

I find that after living with something for a short while that you somehow don’t really notice it anymore. You can always change it in a couple of years by which time you may love it. It would take a number of coats to “kill” that shade of colour, anyway.
Give DH a big hug and thank him for his hard work and he’ll be receptive to redecoration in the future.

MariposaLilly · 23/05/2021 20:33

This attitude really surprises me. I thought MN was full off strong independent women. I'm in my late 60's and have always done all the painting, gardening, growing veg, tree trimming, mowing lawns etc. I love it and I'm good at it. All the farm wives around here (western US) do those jobs. Men do men's work.

MommytoA · 23/05/2021 20:33

Hi Op we have denim drift in our bedroom and have wooden accessories to go with it and I absolutely love our room. It's the best room in the house. Maybe look at plain white bedding and a few cushions to match the paint as that's what I've done and I'm really happy with it.

Squeejit · 23/05/2021 20:34

Is it even dry yet? Give it a few days in different lights before you make a decision.

NiceGerbil · 23/05/2021 20:34

I go up a ladder to do the edging round the top- I am quite short though!

Tbf I do get on with stuff but DH would not be pleased to find me up a ladder at 7 months!

Also plenty of women are ill- morning sickness could be a prob?

My point is that it's up to women and their situation etc rather than this constant 'you're pregnant not ill' stuff which women get all the time!

JudgeJ · 23/05/2021 20:34

@HeddaGarbled

If I were him and you told me you didn’t like it just after I’d finished, and when you liked the sample, I probably would cry.

Surely the OP realised when the first wall was being done that she didn't like it, why wait until it's finished? Maybe he likes it, doesn't he get a say? Being pregnant isn't an excuse for doing nothing so if she wants it redoing........!

aintnothinbutagstring · 23/05/2021 20:38

We have denim drift on the back wall of our kitchen, the other three walls are dulux timeless which it works well with, along with slate grey tiles and beige cupboards. I have a few prints which have a wood frame and white mount, those look nice against it. Maybe you need some complementary accent colours to bring the colour out.

aintnothinbutagstring · 23/05/2021 20:40

Oh and I do all the painting in our house, cos I'm a perfectionist, DH is too slap dash!

colouringindoors · 23/05/2021 20:41

Repaint one large wall white, it will brighten the room hugely. Add a mirror and some prints with wide white mounts to the blue walls and give it a year!

IgiveupallthenamesIwantedareg0 · 23/05/2021 20:49

We are one fo these "old fashioned" couples that now in our home all walls and ceilings are white. All flooring is the same wood flooring throughtout. We add colour, decoration, adornment through furniture, fabrics, rugs, pictures etc. not through "trendy" wall colours.
I had a bedroom as a young teeny that I was allowed to have painted with blue walls and a purple ceiling - my Dad allowed it because it was the smallest room in the house that no one would ever see and he knew I would get over it!
I did, came back after Uni years and couldn't repaint quick enough!

Manydaysgoby · 23/05/2021 20:51

Unless it’s a question of cost, why don’t
you just re-paint it yourself?

Dora33 · 23/05/2021 20:54

It's a very dark blue. Unless your woodwork ( wardrobes, skirting & doors) are all white, I would paint over it now. You might get used to the dark blue if you are only mainly in bedroom at night. But as you will likely be in the room a lot with your newborn, I would switch to a softer colour you find relaxing.
The walls are nice and clean from the new paint and wont take long to paint over. We changed one paint colour as soon as it was done as looked cold in room. Was so glad we did.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 23/05/2021 20:55

Orange goes really well with this colour. Id think about orange accessories. They would lookovely and add much needed colour. Burnt orange.

Hadtocomment · 23/05/2021 20:55

Just a thought. Looking at the colour online it's very grey in some pictures and blue in others. I wonder if it's not just about darkness but more about warmth. Blues and greys can be cold or a bit forbidding and with white it can look great but white is not necessarily warming either. The interiors I like best are where there's some pale wood in there somewhere which just warms it all up a bit and those look really nice to me. So maybe the grey blue and white together is just too chilly and maybe a bit austere overall. If you have any palish or not too dark wooden furniture about - maybe it would be worth having a see if it warmed it up a bit or if that makes any difference to how you feel about it. Carpet and curtains are going to make a huge difference too - though depends on the colour I suppose as to the overall feel. I had a blue bedroom and I think blue can be quite nice for bedrooms - quite grown up and mellow. But I did have stripped wood in that room I seem to remember and that always has a warming feel so it wasn't too austere. Whatever you decide, don't be upset about it. Paint is very easily changable and it can be done at any time really. Maybe just after someone has completed a mammoth task isn't the best time. If you have to live with it a while at least you know it's not a totally impossible thing to change further down the line. It probably all feels a bit more urgent and upsetting than it really is and I'd be inclined to see if different colours with it might warm it up a bit. I had a gunmetal grey floor which I initially thought was going to be a disaster. I love it now with all the stuff back in. It looked so austere on its own but is one of my preferred floors now. Good luck OP. Don't be too down about it. It's only paint and easily solvable if you really hate it.

WimpoleHat · 23/05/2021 20:56

Give it three months and see how you feel then. At the end of the day, it’s only paint. I felt like you did about our new carpets - I actually nearly spaffed away serious money to change them. They weren’t what I had expected - but now I’ve lived with them for a while, I’ve got used to them and decided they weren’t all that bad.

Original poster

SunflowerOwl · 23/05/2021 20:56

@MariposaLilly

I've painted most of the rooms in our house tbh or we've done it together. And I'm still doing most of the DIY as DH hates it. It's got f all to do with me not being strong or independent but I was advised to avoid painting because of the fumes and so DH said he would rather do it himself

OP posts:

Monkeymilkshake · 23/05/2021 20:59

I’d wait to see it in a different light and wait until the paint is really dry!

Your DH sounds really nice, painting your bedroom the colour you chose etc so just for that i’d keep my mouth shut!
Good luck!

Graphista · 23/05/2021 21:06

Something to bear in mind as you're pregnant - how far along are you now and how far along were you when you saw the pic and liked it?

Because pregnancy CAN affect eyesight (it's those pesky hormones affect fluid levels and eye muscles) inc colour and depth perception. I had to get new glasses for during pregnancy and then just a few weeks after having dd my old ones worked fine again! So so weird

So maybe at least wait until a few weeks post pregnancy?

Also the carpets and other decor will affect how it looks too.

DigitalGhost · 23/05/2021 21:11

My bedroom is denim drift and I love it. It goes really well with yellowy bedding and accessories and natural wood furniture

littlepattilou · 23/05/2021 21:29

@moonfacebaby YOUR bedroom is gorgeous too. (On your post at 19.20.)

@SunflowerOwl Glad you feel a bit better about it now, after putting in a few light-coloured accessories.

littlepattilou · 23/05/2021 21:29

@moonfacebaby YOUR bedroom is gorgeous too. (On your post at 19.20.)

@SunflowerOwl Glad you feel a bit better about it now, after putting in a few light-coloured accessories.

CambsAlways · 23/05/2021 21:30

I wouldn’t ask him to repaint, didn’t you notice that you didn’t like it before he had completed it! Does he like it op, I think this is what happens when you copy other people’s ideas, but I’d try different lighting, have white bedding, and have mirror up that’s if you haven’t already to bounce the light round the room

littlepattilou · 23/05/2021 21:30

@RaskolnikovsGarret

Everyone on MN has beautiful homes that look like they’ve come straight out of a magazine. The decor is fantastic, and I’m in awe of all of you. A polite person would call my style ‘eclectic’. In reality it’s a hodge podge of stuff added on over the last twenty years, and it hasn’t dated well. If Dulux bring out a colour called ‘pig sty’ or ‘cesspit’, I think it would work quite nicely throughout the whole house

Don't be so hard on yourself!!!

I do love some of the modern styles that some mumsnetters put up, but me and DH are happy and cosy in our 1990s style decor, of medium and dark oak, magnolia walls, and burgundy and red cushions/lamps/ curtains etc. I know this is not to everyone's taste, but we wouldn't have it any other way.

Our house looks a bit like the pics here... Not exactly, like his, but the general 'look' is similar.

We ALSO have a bit of a hodge podge of stuff from the past 30 years since we first started living together, but it all works, and we love it. We have 100s of books, 100s of 45rpm vinyl singles,100s of vinyl LPs, 100s of CDs, and 100s of DVDs, and family photos and paintings all over. As I said, we wouldn't want it any other way.......

To ask DH to decorate again (He finished today and I HATE it)

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