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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is three bottles of wine a week too much?

451 replies

PinkOrchidDream · 23/05/2021 16:12

My husband, not me. Since I've been pregnant, so abstaining from drink altogether, I've been more aware of his drinking. It's by no means a problem judging by his behaviour but I just wondered if this is (obviously a bit unhealthy) but normal for some. It's spread out over the week so he doesn't binge at weekends.

OP posts:
Lweji · 25/05/2021 11:10

3 bottles at 5 glasses each will be 15 glasses over the week.
Over the 7 days of the week, it means about 2 glasses per day, either one per meal, or two glasses at dinner/post-dinner. Unless he has the 2 glasses at home, and drinks the equivalent at lunch out of the home.

While it's not great, it shouldn't be particularly harmful, as the liver should be able to cope with small amounts.

Not a fan of drinking, and while I wouldn't recommend it, I wouldn't see it as raising huge alarm bells.

PaperbackRider · 25/05/2021 11:17

Does nobody understand what logic is?

sadperson16 · 25/05/2021 11:31

a paunch of fat?...how horrible you are.

Some people have no paunch ,no units,no alcohol poisoning and are absolutely vile.

ZaraW · 25/05/2021 11:36

a paunch of fat?...how horrible you are.

Surely it's just the same as a beer belly?

ohnoohnoohnononononoo · 25/05/2021 11:48

@TheKeatingFive

I think people expect a freak out over the word ‘poison’.

Pretty sure sugar qualifies as a poison too.

Then wine is a double whammy, isn't it.
TheKeatingFive · 25/05/2021 11:51

Then wine is a double whammy, isn't it.

Mmm, probably drop dead immediately

rubberplants · 25/05/2021 11:55

@TheKeatingFive

Then wine is a double whammy, isn't it.

Mmm, probably drop dead immediately

I didn't say that.

People are sooooo weird about alcohol! Massively defensive.

If you're all so comfortable with and confident about your alcohol intake, why the defensiveness and absolute unwillingness to admit that it's really bad for you.

I'm sure people were like this about smoking... and look at the way that habit is viewed now.

TheKeatingFive · 25/05/2021 11:59

why the defensiveness and absolute unwillingness to admit that it's really bad for you.

Define really bad?

Is a bit over the limit absolute optimal health behaviour? No.

Will it have catastrophic health outcomes? Depends on the bigger picture.

TheKeatingFive · 25/05/2021 12:00

Name change fail? 🤔

NotBadConsidering · 25/05/2021 12:05

Surely it's just the same as a beer belly?

Exactly. Call it a wine belly rather than a paunch of fat but it’s the same thing. “Beer belly” is society’s polite humorous euphemism for “unhealthy and overweight due to too much alcohol consumption”.

And why be polite? The OP’s DH drinks too much and likely has outward signs of such an unhealthy lifestyle. If not, it’s on its way. Assuming the DH is under 40, imagine another 30-40 years of continuing at that rate. Some people need to wake up to the stark realities of what they’re doing to themselves. If you know, and don’t care, fair enough, I respect that to some degree, although it’s the medical profession who will have to sort it all out for you at the end so hopefully you’ll be grateful. But if you deny it then act surprised when your body packs in with any of the copious number of alcohol-related health problems, well that’s just naive at best.

There’s denial at individual and societal levels when it comes to drinking, both are problematic.

sadperson16 · 25/05/2021 12:07

My partner has a beer belly/paunch of fat.
He very very rarely touches alcohol.
He eats too much sometimes and he is a kind person.

What the hell is wrong with people?

NotBadConsidering · 25/05/2021 12:10

@sadperson16

My partner has a beer belly/paunch of fat. He very very rarely touches alcohol. He eats too much sometimes and he is a kind person.

What the hell is wrong with people?

Then it’s not a beer belly then is it? Confused. It’s just a belly from eating too much. Pointing out the realities of the state of someone’s health is not a slight on their character FFS Hmm. And this is not about your partner, it’s about the OP’s.
ForgedInFire · 25/05/2021 12:23

I don't think it's too much really. Yes it is probably really bad for him but if it isn't effecting his behaviour then I wouldn't worry about it. Some people just like a drink and can keep a good cap on it. If it starts creeping up then I would challenge him about it.

Teawaster · 25/05/2021 12:29

I never understand how people can prove the link between moderate amounts of alcohol and various diseases. Obviously at dangerous levels the effects are obvious but there are so many other factors to be taken into consideration. For example they say your risk of breast cancer is higher if you drink more than the recommended amount . Your risk also increase if you are overweight , if you don't exercise, if you have family members who have had the disease , or you were just plain unlucky etc etc . How can anyone unpick what the cause is? So if I drink more than the recommended limit but am not overweight and very fit , then I probably have less of a chance then an unfit overweight teetotaller . Also people lie all the time about how much they drink so much so that alcohol sales in this country are double what you would expect based on averages of what people say they drink , so that makes it even harder to analyse . I have no doubt that excess alcohol causes long term damage and even cancer but nobody actually knows what the recommended limits should be and how much alcohol is actually safe for each individual . I have known several people who have died from cancer , including my late husband and as far as I know none have been heavy drinkers . People should make their own decisions and balance their risk by looking at their overall health and level of activity.

sadperson16 · 25/05/2021 12:51

I am well aware it's not about me or my partner.
The condeming and shaming is horrible.
A person can drink too many units and be struggling with MH.Another person can have a perfect physique and no belly and also be struggling.Nobody knows.

OP ,in my opinion,3 bottles a week probably means more than 3 and it would be good for your partner to try to make some changes.

rubberplants · 25/05/2021 13:23

I never understand how people can prove the link between moderate amounts of alcohol and various diseases.

Is this a joke?

Scientific studies prove links.

PaperbackRider · 25/05/2021 13:29

@rubberplants

I never understand how people can prove the link between moderate amounts of alcohol and various diseases.

Is this a joke?

Scientific studies prove links.

Not nearly as much as the news headlines would have you believe. There is a big difference between actual scientific studies, and media reporting of those studies. Most people only see the latter and think they know what the former have "proved"...and they don't.
paralysedbyinertia · 25/05/2021 13:40

I think 3 bottles a week on a regular basis is too much, OP. Whether people want to admit it or not.

I know that my diet isn't perfectly healthy. I probably consume too much salt and too much sugar. Denying that will not change the fact that it's true. I am trying my best to reduce the amount of salt and sugar that I consume.

KidneyBeans · 25/05/2021 13:46

@rubberplants

I never understand how people can prove the link between moderate amounts of alcohol and various diseases.

Is this a joke?

Scientific studies prove links.

Can you link to some then? FWIW I agree that 3 bottles of wine/week is a lot, but there are so many lifestyle variables that confound moderate alcohol consumption that proving a causal link is pretty tricky
rubberplants · 25/05/2021 13:49

That's just completely ignorant.

Cowbells · 25/05/2021 14:28

Aren't there a lot of variables? DH regularly drinks that amount every month except Dry Jan. But he is 6'1" at least - probably 6'3" if he every stood up straight. And he's well built. If I drank that amount (I'm a good 10 inches shorter than him) I'd be ill. But as he is so much bigger, can't his body process it more easily?

ThursdayWeld · 25/05/2021 15:29

@Cowbells

Aren't there a lot of variables? DH regularly drinks that amount every month except Dry Jan. But he is 6'1" at least - probably 6'3" if he every stood up straight. And he's well built. If I drank that amount (I'm a good 10 inches shorter than him) I'd be ill. But as he is so much bigger, can't his body process it more easily?
Livers don't vary in size that much.

Ethanol (which is the alcohol found in all alcoholic drinks, there's no difference between them) is a poison that the liver and brain have to process. We may absorb it differently, but it all has to go through the liver and brain eventually.

ThursdayWeld · 25/05/2021 15:32

I mean it affects the brain, and central nervous system. Your liver then has to try and process it.

Drunkenness is alcohol poisoning.

samthebordercollie · 25/05/2021 20:02

@ForgedInFire

I don't think it's too much really. Yes it is probably really bad for him but if it isn't effecting his behaviour then I wouldn't worry about it. Some people just like a drink and can keep a good cap on it. If it starts creeping up then I would challenge him about it.
I agree with this. It's probably good to have a couple of consecutive AF nights a week too. My dad is 87 and has always drunk that much a week. He has never drink more or less. He is active and in good health. Of course governments have to give 'safe' limits but we are all different and some people provinces alcohol more easily than others. Agree that if consumption starts creeping up there is a problem.