To want a bidet?

[thisisbull]

I know this is grim but help settle an argument!

We're remodelling the bathroom and I would like a bidet because I have Crohn's disease and frankly when it's awful I can't use too much loo roll so I'm having 10/15 showers a day to feel clean it's either a bidet or a washing loo I need to not feel horrendous.

DH thinks the idea of a bidet is gross and a bum washing loo is ridiculous because they're so expensive but it's something I need to cope with my illness

Aibu to not back down on this and just tell him we're getting a bidet and to grow up?

Funny isn't it?

If you got shit on your arm, leg or even clothing, you wouldn't think "oh give me a tissue and it'll be fine"

Your husband is the gross one, tbh.

What a revelation this thread has been, I definitely need a bum gun , but I'm also concerned about water spraying every wherever, is the loo itself larger to accommodate this sort of thing?

Don't guests wonder what the hell is going on by the loo, or is this for private en suites?

@Puttingouthefirewithgasoline

It's ironic that he thinks something that cleans the rear is gross? Many of our continental cousins feel we are disgusting for not having bidets. I'd love to have one op, definitely.

Lol this reminds me when I used to work in a tourist hotspot in Central London. One time, a French(?) woman with a look of disgust came up to me and asked where she could buy a 'douche' for the toilet as the place she was staying at didn't have such a facility but I was only a teenager then so I really didn't know how where you get them from. Her face read "you have GOT to be absolutely kidding me!" I'll never forget it. Poor woman! 🙈

@SuperSecretSquirrels

I have so many questions!

How do you use the hose/shower/shattaf? I can’t figure out how it would work without getting water all over the toilet. At the risk of being too direct, do you spread the cheeks and direct the water right at the area, or is it more of a general aim at the lower lower-back and use a hand to wash? Is it high or low pressure?

With the bidet-seat / Japanese toilet - how does it stay hygienic? Given that the nozzles are below the seat, how do you know the nozzle hasn’t been splattered or sprayed by the previous visitor? And are they not a bugger to clean?

Well, interesting lesson for a sunday.

I lean forward slightly and hose my bum (so people aim from the front, but you can’t if a willy and balls are in the way), so it runs down my bum crack and straight in the loo. I then have one of those auto soap dispensers so I can get soap one handed, give my bum a clean and then hose again to rinse the soap. I dry with a flannel, some people just use toilet roll. Our hose has a trigger you press, the harder you press the higher the pressure.

If you have a bidet seat you can see the nozzle so you can see if its clean, if someone somehow manages to make it dirty just chuck some water over it.

YANBU. You need one for your health basically. I’ve always found them gross (I know I’m being unreasonable) but it’s a case of your comfort

Of course you're not being unreasonable!!

Completely reasonable if you have bowel problems.

I'm getting a bio bidet seat put on soon. Washes, dries, even does enemas lol

I'd love a Japanese toilet too! YANBU considering your condition, that's awful for you.

DH is Muslim. We don't have a hose because it only does cold water 😳

We have a bum jug. From amazon so we can treat our bums to lovely warm water

Convince him to get a Japanese toilet.

I learned yesterday that apparently in Italy all bathrooms have to have a bidet installed, even in private homes.

They must think we are so unhygienic.

i lived in a house with a living in muslim landlord, there was a long spout jug next to the toilet

Oh yes - Japanese loos do often jet out warm water, take a look at those.

I had a bidet installed in our new bathroom. I love it, makes you feel so much cleaner.

Had one installed in my new bathroom. Went for that over a bumgun (which I used when living in ME) as I quite fancy a short soak now and then.

My bidet and WC are in the same simple modern matching style, clean lines and easy to see that they are clean.

For some reason I dislike ones with fancy Victorian style taps or with lids. I didn’t want any nooks and crannies where unpleasantness may be perceived to lurk.

When shopping around got told either that people don’t bother with bidets, or that they are becoming popular. The decent sanitary ware brands certainly had plenty on offer in their ranges.

I haven’t looked back!

We will be refurbishing our bathroom soon. Japanese toilet is part of our spec.

My dp has Crohns so I get it. A bidet sounds like a really good option!

Does your dh understand that wiping can be very painful?

Totally 💯 agree op

Perfect for you
Get !

Or get a Japanese style one

I think it's a great idea. Go for it, OP!

@PhilCornwall1

Mine is a mixer. Plumbed on to the hot/cold feed for the hand basin. DIY with speedfit was a doddle.

That could go one way or the other, freezing cold or a ring of fire!! 😫😫

I tell you Phil my farmers were brutal, always run the tap to get tepid. Extreme hot or cold would have had me sat on the chimney. I'm fairly pleased how easy it was to fit. Mind, you have to be careful when the dishwasher fills up.

I also have the bum tea pot. Only issue with those are when the toddler plays tea party.

@TheSpottedZebra

Yes to shattaf/ bum gun. The future (but very much the present for many).

They're really quite common in Muslim households in the UK, and utterly the norm in many countries.

Is the water cold? And how does it not spray everywhere?

We’re Muslim and have recently purchased a house that we’re doing up, installing a shattaf asap. They’re very simple to install yourself if you want to use cold water but let’s face it, who would want that?! So we’re going to get it properly installed by a plumber onto the hot/cold or the sink when we replace the bathroom soon. (DH wants to try doing it himself but with no plumbing experience I don’t trust him to not set it to boiling hot or freezing cold - neither of which you want!)

Re how to use it, you literally use one hand to point it towards your bum, press the button, and then use tissue to dry/wipe as normal.

Lady (and others) it's a mini shower head with a trigger button. Mine has a thermostat dial to set temp. It's a jet which you vary the pressure with the trigger. No need to change position just lean forwards and direct the jet down yer crack. It's targeted so your buttocks stay dry. I spray, wash if needed and have a dedicated arse towel but also can blot dry.

I wasted so much time before and if I didn't wash felt dirty. Now my hoop is minty fresh permanently. Use it to wash my feet too and hair. Makes bog cleaning so much easier. Wish I had known earlier when I still did sex.

Game changer for under £50.

We have ours plumbed with warm water snd it doesn't go everywhere at all, unless I happen to sprays towards the gap between the toilet and toilet seat at the front!

I go to the loo, use the water to clean myself and then use loo roll to dry. I've wanted one for a while so was definitely getting one when we did our bathroom.

I don't see any thing wrong with guests seeing them either. People seem curious and delighted with ours!

Does anyone who actually has a Japanese toilet/or loo seat have any top tips on what to look out for? Is it very noisy?

Thanks for explaining how to use

We’re building a house, so I have just added shattafs to the specs for the bathrooms. They seem like a fantastic idea!