To want a bidet?

[thisisbull]

I know this is grim but help settle an argument!

We're remodelling the bathroom and I would like a bidet because I have Crohn's disease and frankly when it's awful I can't use too much loo roll so I'm having 10/15 showers a day to feel clean it's either a bidet or a washing loo I need to not feel horrendous.

DH thinks the idea of a bidet is gross and a bum washing loo is ridiculous because they're so expensive but it's something I need to cope with my illness

Aibu to not back down on this and just tell him we're getting a bidet and to grow up?

We had one in our en-suite bathroom when we moved in, I did use it but when we replaced the bathroom we didn't put one back in.

TheQueef Thank you. I've got an interesting enough Google history without adding 'toilet hose' or 'bum gun'.

Honest question.
Do you not have a soaking wet arse that would need dried with toilet paper anyway?
Or do you have bum drying towels out.
Would visitors need bum drying towels too?

I came on here to say 'no' to the bidet because I personally don't like them, but reading your reasons to have one, I think you're quite right and in your circumstances, yes, it would be a good idea.
I think the 'hose' thing would be more awkward to use but as a compromise it might work...we had a version of this when I was in Thailand years ago, I found them difficult to use properly.

Get yourself one of these for now, just fill it with warm water. There's probably cheaper but this holds lots of water and is sturdy

I have a bidet attachment to my regular toilet seat. I love it.

@DDIJ

One thing to bear in mind is that if the shattaf may break regulations if it is installed close to a toilet, which is kind of the point.

I doubt it, we had building regs on disabled wet room and council were not bothered by the shattaf.

Yanbu.

I regretted ripping ours out when we redid the bathroom so I fitted hose.

If men had babies, periods etc a bum gun would be standard everywhere. Don't take no for an answer!

YANBU. Bidets are the opposite of gross, and it baffles me that they aren’t more widespread in this country. If you got shit anywhere else on your body you wouldn’t be happy just using paper to wipe it off! A bidet is so much more hygienic and comfortable.

Besides, his feelings don’t trump yours when you have an illness that means you would hugely benefit from this! He doesn’t have to use it if he’s happy to continue wiping instead of washing 🤮

In your position I’d definitely want either a bidet or one of the shower attachments (I never knew they existed). Your bum must be red raw with constant loo roll wiping. Maybe with increasing environmental awareness they will become more popular, I’d prefer to clean my bum with them rather than using cloths. Drying off wouldn’t be any different to drying after a shower. Our bathroom only just fits it a toilet, basin and bath so a bidet will never be an option.

You want it and you need it, of course you should get it. If he think it's disgusting, he doesn't have to use it.

@QueenPaw

Get yourself one of these for now, just fill it with warm water. There's probably cheaper but this holds lots of water and is sturdy

You could temporarily get this or a long spouted watering can for £1. Much cheaper and better. www.mxwholesale.co.uk/products/1-litre-waterer?variant=32124353019959

But yes yes to the hose. We have them in both bathrooms. To the person asking about a soaking wet bum, you just dry off with a bit of loo roll.

I've got one and wouldn't be without it. With Crohns it's a must. Your DH needs a good talking-to. How dare he say it's gross to be able to wash your bottom.

Mine is electronic and it wasn't horribly expensive. It's great - you just press a button at the appropriate time and your bottom is washed with warm water and then dried with warm air.

05:09Octopuscrazy

QueenPaw

Get yourself one of these for now, just fill it with warm water. There's probably cheaper but this holds lots of water and is sturdy

You could temporarily get this or a long spouted watering can for £1. Much cheaper and better.
www.mxwholesale.co.uk/products/1-litre-waterer?variant=32124353019959

But yes yes to the hose. We have them in both bathrooms. To the person asking about a soaking wet bum, you just dry off with a bit of loo roll.

Or get a 'Lota' www.amazon.co.uk/s?ref=nb_sb_noss&k=lota&tag=mumsnetforu03-21 . Btw, we only use the left hand to clean bums and right hand for eating/shaking hands. You're welcome .

Bum gun all the way! We've lived in the Middle East for 10 years now and couldn't imagine life without one. All our (pre-COVID) visitors used to marvel at it as well!

It's been really helpful for cleaning up toilet training DCs and DCs with upset tummies, so can imagine that for someone with bowel issues, it would also be really great.

Smart Toilet Seat is what you need. Front and rear adjustable washing nozzles () with adjustable temperature, heated seat. LED lighting too, which must be a life changer!!

Yours for 400 quid. We had our bathroom done this year and we were going to get one, but didn't at the time, as we went mental on an expensive shower.

It will be happening soon. Just so I can put the LEDs on!!

Expat in ME here - bum gun/shattaffa rocks.

Less intrusive than a bidet, leaves you with a lovely clean botty, & you can forget about ever scrubbing the bog again - just blast it!

Best invention ever. I'm never going to have a loo without one again, wherever I live!

Our house has a bidet. It was just here when we moved in and we've never removed it.
No one has ever commented on it. Only to say "How posh!"
It gets quite dusty as it rarely gets used but when we run out of loo roll it gets some action.

I would agree with everyone else saying you need something to help you out, be it a bidet or one of the other contraptions and why shouldn't you get one? You need one.

We have a shattaf on every toilet in our flat and a bidet seat on the main toilet.

Washing yourself isn’t grim, using paper to smear shit on your skin however is disgusting.

When we redid our en suite I demanded (and got) a bidet. Our previous home also had one, which was already there when I moved in. They’re a no-brainer and I wouldn’t be without one, or at least a shattaf if there wasn’t space.

I'd love a bidet. When I lived in Spain I used it for everything! Arse, feet, smalls. It was fantastic for a freshen up. Disco minge was very common in a hot climate with or without the disco.

yanbu
they surely should be standard in bathrooms

@thisisbull
Your husband is being a nob how would he feel if he had this condition

I'm sorry but that to be is a red flag that he doesn't care about the situation he should show you more respect

I'd be looking for a new husband never mind a new bidet

2000 percent yes to a bidet, but I suggest a bidet attachment for your toilet rather than a separate unit. I have super bad hemorrhoids which I have had my whole adult life and using the bidet instead of toilet paper has been wonderful as it doesn't irritate the hemorrhoids.
I have one like this because I have an old bathroom with no electric hookup near the toilet. Water is a little chilly in the winter, but still totally awesome. If you are doing a new bathroom then put an electric hookup near the toilet and get something like this. It's more expensive, but still cheaper than a fancy washing loo.

I'm not recommending either of these specific products as I'm in the USA and the brands are different, but the concepts are the same.