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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband booked a holiday,I don't want to do,aibu?

605 replies

breadbreadwine · 22/05/2021 10:44

My husband has booked a holiday for the half term.
I thought fab,just what we need...till he told me he has bought a 6 man tent and we are going away to Scotland for a week in a tent.
He's booked a parkdene tent holiday.
It was £155 for 4 of us and he has paid £700 for a tent.
He has bought sleeping bags,fridge etc
He said it's to save money.

Aibu here ?
A week in a tent in Scotland with 2 kids who don't sleep anyway.
I'm not high maintenance but I'm worried about the toilet /shower situation

I'm not happy

OP posts:
osbertthesyrianhamster · 22/05/2021 14:29

@aprilanne

Do not panic all the park dean sites have toilets and showers and entertainment. It is a lot of money because not everyone likes camping .but try to go with it and enjoy .he obviously is getting an electric pitch if he has a fridge and stuff you can buy tent heaters if the cold bothers you good luck
Why should she enable a person who's been an inconsiderate douchebag, much less spend more money on heaters? Why the fuck should anyone kowtow to that sort of behaviour? I can't imagine doing this to my spouse because I respect him, nor him me, but he'd laugh and say 'Am I fuck!' if I announced we're going on holiday to Paris to tour art museums. He doesn't like that, he doesn't like holidays to big busy cities, so I don't inflict that on him and expect him to enjoy it or go along with it.
Lolapusht · 22/05/2021 14:31

OP, you will know if it’s possible it might work as a holiday or not (will your DC actually enjoy it or will it be torture for them?). If it’s not going to work then sack it off and tell him to put the tent back on eBay (he is an utter eejit for managing to buy a non-refundable £700 tent on eBay! Absolutely no need for that especially as you didn’t have any input into what tent you bought. I’m guessing you would be able to look at a tent and instantly say if it’s going to work or not). You can get tents for a lot less than £700 that are returnable and probably come with extra things like carpets etc. One that expensive should be absolutely amazing!

If you’re going (and I would say it’s a HUGE “if”) and are not used to camping here are a few tips:

As you’re in a holiday park there should be plenty of facilities like an on-site shop, laundry (you’ll need the tumble drier to dry things once you’ve been in the rain Grin). Check what’s there so know what to prepare for.

What has DH done about cooking and eating? Are you going to eat in the park restaurant or are you going to be doing all the cooking? If he’s expecting you to cook then take as much from home as you can. Don’t bother with buying “camping” pots etc as they’re useless and impossible to clean. Alright for hanging off a hillside and cleaning in a burn, useless for cooking for a family. Take oil, salt pepper, sauces, foil, chopping board, sharp knife, washing up bowl, liquid, more tea towels than you think necessary, kitchen roll and loo roll. If you’re cooking, how is that going to be managed? How old are the DC? You can’t have cooking inside a tent with DC and you need to have somewhere to out hot pans/serve up without people getting burned. It is really important that you think about this as it is potentially horrendously dangerous. You can’t have toddlers falling into hot pans or knocking into something that’s not safely placed.

Under no circumstances leave the house without quilts and pillows for everyone (maybe not for DH). None of this nonsense about “it’s not really camping”. You’re in a big tent on a park and there is no need to ever be cold when you sleep.

Take a hair drier. If you’ve got an electric hook-up you’ll be able to use it to thaw DC out when they come back in from the rain and you can use it to warm sleeping bags to get them cosy before bed. Depending on their ages, be prepared for them to fall asleep when it gets dark and wake up when it gets light (our normal is DC sleep 10pm and wake up around 6am. They only do this camping and we have invested in a blackout tent as we couldn’t stand it). You may get no sleep.

Buy a chair or something for you to sit on. I really like half height chairs. Tables are also handy as are rugs and the quilts and pillows you didn’t leave the house without.

Take waterproofs and suncream.

We love camping and go regularly. I would not even think about it if we didn’t both love it and weren’t well prepared. Good luck!

Lolapusht · 22/05/2021 14:33

Oh...and DEFINITELY a put the tent up before you go! Do not leave it until you get there and have to pitch it in the dark when it’s raining!

YouokHun · 22/05/2021 14:39

@Lolapusht

Oh...and DEFINITELY a put the tent up before you go! Do not leave it until you get there and have to pitch it in the dark when it’s raining!
Yes do this^. It will be the only way to find out exactly why it is on eBay. No one wants to be in a rainy field when they discover that it was on eBay because some essential component is missing or every zip is broken. Not that this will be your problem but he may disturb you while you’re relaxing at the spa and he calls you to tell you that to add to the £700 is the cost of a few nights in the local Travelodge because the tent doesn’t stand up.
Loubiemoo · 22/05/2021 14:44

I agree with PPs, wave them all off and go back to bed.

Pyewackect · 22/05/2021 14:44

Kids love camping. It's an adventure.

lockdownalli · 22/05/2021 14:53

@Pyewackect

Kids love camping. It's an adventure.
Sorry but that's bollocks. I was made to go camping regularly as a child and I absolutely hated it every single time. HATED IT!
osbertthesyrianhamster · 22/05/2021 14:58

@Pyewackect

Kids love camping. It's an adventure.
Great, he can take them! My son hates it. He's a kid.
osbertthesyrianhamster · 22/05/2021 14:59

Yes do this^. It will be the only way to find out exactly why it is on eBay. No one wants to be in a rainy field when they discover that it was on eBay because some essential component is missing or every zip is broken. Not that this will be your problem but he may disturb you while you’re relaxing at the spa and he calls you to tell you that to add to the £700 is the cost of a few nights in the local Travelodge because the tent doesn’t stand up.

So why even respond? His problem.

Cherrysoup · 22/05/2021 15:03

A week in a tent given the current weather? I’d kill him. I’m presuming you’ve told him not to book something without at least asking? Saving money=staying home and having a lovely warm time indoors.

YouokHun · 22/05/2021 15:05

@osbertthesyrianhamster

Yes do this^. It will be the only way to find out exactly why it is on eBay. No one wants to be in a rainy field when they discover that it was on eBay because some essential component is missing or every zip is broken. Not that this will be your problem but he may disturb you while you’re relaxing at the spa and he calls you to tell you that to add to the £700 is the cost of a few nights in the local Travelodge because the tent doesn’t stand up.

So why even respond? His problem.

You’re taking my comment more seriously than it’s meant @osbertthesyrianhamster!
rookiemere · 22/05/2021 15:09

I know it's sensible advice to pitch the tent in the garden to try it out, but if anything is even more guaranteed to put one off a camping holiday when they don't want to go, it's a fun afternoon putting the tent up and then packing it away again.

Premier Inns don't need any trial runs and offer free cooked breakfast to DCs.

KittyKatChonky · 22/05/2021 15:09

Knowing our luck it will rain every day

It’s Scotland. It’s going to rain. Sorry op.

I’d be pissed off if my husband didn’t tell me he was going to book a holiday or spend an obscene amount on a tent. Have you ever had good communication as a couple?

Barbie222 · 22/05/2021 15:10

@Pyewackect

Kids love camping. It's an adventure.
Couldn't bear it, then or now.
Miseryl · 22/05/2021 15:11

That sounds like my idea of hell. YANBU.

coodawoodashooda · 22/05/2021 15:13

My xh used to do shit like that.

Tubs11 · 22/05/2021 15:13

How old are your kids? As a seasoned camper and lover of holidays in general I find camping with the kids one of the most easy and relaxing weeks as they're off playing with other kids while you sit around drinking wine by the campfire. All that fresh air means the kids get a great nights sleep. Never camped in Scotland though and it's far more enjoyable if you're prepared so if the holiday goes ahead I'd through all my time and energy into planning. Sheep skin mattress topper and duvet is a game changer btw

PermanentTemporary · 22/05/2021 15:17

I like camping but only on my own terms, and these are well honed boundaries over years of trying things. The idea of a first ever camping holiday far from home in a huge tent you've bought outright with none of the bells and whistles... he has no idea. And even if it were a week at Gleneagles with James McAvoy as my personal masseur I would still want to be in the discussions beforehand.

Jellybabiesforbreakfast · 22/05/2021 15:19

If he’s expecting you to cook then take as much from home as you can.

If he's expecting you to cook, there are three options available to you:

  1. Make sure Just Eat and Deliveroo have plenty of local options.
  2. Tell him to invite Anne from the Famous Five to go instead of you. She enjoyed doing all that home-making shit back at camp while the boys and George were off having fun adventures.
  3. Tell him to fuck that shit, you're not so much as boiling an egg, he can do all the catering.
billy1966 · 22/05/2021 15:21

Wave him off.

You had no choice in the decision, you do have a choice whether you go.

Let him off.

Rude and disrespectful to do all of that without any consultation.

I would not go. End of.

Ju11tne · 22/05/2021 15:22

You could of gone to Butlins for less! I booked for June for 4 people. Less than £500 Fri - Mon. I would be having words OP.

FakeColinCaterpillar · 22/05/2021 15:25

I wouldn’t stay in a tent again if you paid me. I didn’t mind as a teenager but I’ve been once as an adult and I thought it was hell.

My BIL once spent over £1k on camping equipment as an investment to have cheap holidays. He went once. It rained non stop. He didn’t dry the tent out when he came home and it went mouldy.

LizzieW1969 · 22/05/2021 15:26

Another one who would be hacked off at not being consulted before he booked the holiday. And yes, he would be going on his own with the kids.

Lumene · 22/05/2021 15:30

Yeah, I would be waving them off and booking on for a nice spa break.

YanTanTethera123 · 22/05/2021 15:32

You can make the tent all warm and cosy, use windbreakers outside, put twinkling fairy lights up, get an inflatable sofa for extra comfort for chilling, buy bats and balls for the kids, teach them to play chess and have a tournament.... This really could be the perfect relaxing holiday if you buy into it and give it a go smile

Or not. Quite frankly all the titivation in the world wouldn’t make one jot of difference to me where camping in concerned.
If he’s so keen he can go with the kids and give you a week off to do whatever you fancy.

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