Husband booked a holiday,I don't want to do,aibu?

[breadbreadwine]

My husband has booked a holiday for the half term.
I thought fab,just what we need...till he told me he has bought a 6 man tent and we are going away to Scotland for a week in a tent.
He's booked a parkdene tent holiday.
It was £155 for 4 of us and he has paid £700 for a tent.
He has bought sleeping bags,fridge etc
He said it's to save money.

Aibu here ?
A week in a tent in Scotland with 2 kids who don't sleep anyway.
I'm not high maintenance but I'm worried about the toilet /shower situation

I'm not happy

Tell him to have a wonderful time!

My main issue with this would be that its currently bloody cold in East Anglia. Presumably colder in Scotland?

What tent is it OP? I managed to put up a large tent with the help of a small child.

The tent must be pretty decent ,big, with standing room. Make sure you have electric hook up and a heater!

It’s a shit idea. Scotland is cold right now and camping is awful

He spends £££ and books holidays with no discussions with you, his wife? Gosh does he always have so little respect for you?
I'd be telling him to have a lovely holiday and put your feet up for a week.

Why are you all telling her to stay at home? The OP said she needs a break so she should have one.

Get yourself away somewhere nice OP. Personally I'd take myself off to Edinburgh or Glasgow for a few nights and then join them for the last two nights camping if the weather is ok just for the kids and to try it out.

On the understanding that he packs it away and cleans everything when you get home. He can drop you at the station in Dumfries

He really should have talked to you. Have you been camping before OP? You might enjoy it. Never thought I’d enjoy it but I did. Facilities are fine. If you do the rest of your holidays will be cheaper as you’ll have the gear.

If you really don’t want to then get him to sell it on. You shouldn’t have to do something you really don’t want to do.

I refuse to go camping, went once never again. Shame my children are now late teens as they used to go on trips with him and i loved having a few days at home on my own.

Wave them off and stay at home.

If the kids would like you there, then give it a go.
If they would rather you stay at home then stay at home.

I’m not a fan of surprises like that so if we hadn’t done camping before I wouldn’t be too happy either. I don’t like the idea of it but I guess if DH and the kids really wanted to I’d probably go along with it eventually. I’d like to say we’d taken the kids camping at least once, but realistically we probably never will because DH likes his hotel comforts as much as I do!

Put the tent back on eBay..

I'm sure Parkdene have plenty of shower and toilet blocks. The least husband can let you do is choose whereabouts on the site your pitch is, that will be reassuring.

Parkdene are really good resorts, giving value for money.

However I would be livid if my husband had decided off the top of his head what type of holiday we'll be having AND had booked it, never mind tents.

What you must do is have a practice run with the tent. If your garden is big enough, try it there (that could be fun, you could have a barbecue and sleep in the tent), or go somewhere secluded away from home and put the tent up there. He would feel a right idiot if he got to the site and found bits missing or wasn't sure how to put it all together securely.

You might enjoy it, plenty of people do, but please don't let him get away with taking fairly big decisions on his own in future.

How do the children feel about it?

I've never camped, didn't fancy it but prompted by this thread I have looked at some superior campsites (with good shower blocks nearby), and tents, and think I might actually have enjoyed it in the right place.

My children would certainly have had a good time at Parkdene, we stayed at a couple of places (one in Cornwall we went to twice), very like the one you are going to but owned by someone else. However we stayed in a chalet each time.

I've also done Center Parcs where the accommodation is lovely but it is expensive for a family, practically everything is 'extra' and the restaurants/cafes are pricey.

Camping in Scotland? Of course it's going to rain! As the old joke goes -

Q: How do you know it's summer in Scotland?
A: The rain gets warmer.

I would not be going. If he wants to take the children and himself off to Dumfries, he can crack on, but I would be staying at home with my feet up reading the books I don't normally have the time for.

And on the wider point - your husband is a total arse to do this and expect you to fall in with his ill-thought-out plans.

£700 is a lot of family money to spend without discussion.

@Disfordarkchocolate

I'd be having a little cry. I don't mind camping in the right circumstances but if your new to it 2 weeks in Scotland is not the way to go. I'd need to be fully aware of the midge situation before I booked anywhere. First time camping should be shorter, does he have plans to manage thee clothes and washing or it that your job?

Not really a problem in May. If you're staying right on the firth it can be quite blowy, too. But again, I don't do camping so wouldn't be going any more than I'd expect my h to accompany me on a city break to visit a load of art museums and historical sites.

I just read the reviews. Despite a 8.4 everyone mentions blocked loo’s (and rain and mud). Just no.

Please tell your DH to find a different site further south or at least further east of the country out of the prevailing fronts.

I've always loved camping but heck not with small children who don't sleep. If you need the loo in the night just nip outside and pee on the ground or get a toilet bucket.

www.amazon.co.uk/Portable-Camping-Detachable-Outdoor-Festival/dp/B01FQXRJD6/ref=sr_1_5?dchild=1&crid=1JMPH8SQGW9FY&keywords=toilet+bucket+with+seat+and+lid&sprefix=toilet+bucket%2Caps%2C159&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1621688647&sr=8-5

I think he should have discussed this with you first definitely, I'd be incredibly pissed off if a partner just went and did this. Also does he have any idea what the midges are like in Scotland. Last time I went there I was eaten alive literally.

Camping has to be by agreement of all parties! I can't do more than 3 nights in a tent because I sleep really badly in them, and I can't imagine what it would be like with kids who are poor sleepers.

He was very wrong to do all that without asking. It's your holiday as much as his, and it should've been something you discussed and agreed upon together. I'd spend the next few days driving that into his thick skull so that he'd remember it before he tries it again.

If there's no way/time/money to have everything refunded, sell the equipment, and do something else instead, I think I'd give camping a try this time. The money's already spent, and you may find that you enjoy it. But if it turns out that the children don't sleep well, he can deal with them on his own. I'd pack some earplugs and do my best to stay asleep.

In Wales our loo shower blocks are blocked off to campers because of covid rules. I would check this out.

I'm in the wave them off and then have a nice week by yourself camp!

Sounds dreadful. Can he return the tent?

@romany4

I lived in Dumfries for 12 years. I can't imagine why you would go on ho!iday there!

We've had some cracking weather there in summer, but we also live in N. Scotland so found the warmer temps, haahaa, a pleasure. Also weren't bloody camping. Even in July, had to put the heating on at night in the caravan. Wouldn't fancy a tent in May, especially because it really hasn't been a warm spring at all this year, last year was way warmer.

The tent site at the park we use isn't very from the leisure facility, either, and it is noisy. I always try to book a lodge or caravan as far from the leisure facility as possible, tends to be much quieter, on any site. We've even been to Butlins in Skeggy and I booked a caravan across the road (there's a subway) and far back so it was quiet.

Do not panic all the park dean sites have toilets and showers and entertainment. It is a lot of money because not everyone likes camping .but try to go with it and enjoy .he obviously is getting an electric pitch if he has a fridge and stuff you can buy tent heaters if the cold bothers you good luck

He is completely wrong in not consulting you before making these decisions.

In saying this, I would have gone camping with mine more often if I could have my time back again. These were the happiest memories.

@MrMucker

Wow-previous posters getting acerbic and calling me judgemental. All I have said is that there are numerous pros to the holiday he has intended, and additionally he has intended to do a nice thing because he was convinced that those pros were enough to make a good time for them all. Also, it is clearly a luxury item in terms of what it is, and perhaps OP has missed that mitigation. If he got it wrong, he got it wrong, but why get sweary and shouty at me for pointing those things out?! What is wrong with this place?

He might well have had good intentions and got a bit carried away but he should be having a conversation about it with @breadbreadwine first. Why should she be grateful for being railroaded? £700 is a lot of money to spend without talking about it first. It’s disrespectful to discount/not seek OP’s opinion.

These types of holidays can be great and there were stages where my DC would have had a great time and therefore it would have been much easier to enjoy it myself. They’d have made some friends, had a bit of freedom and slept well but there are other stages when this kind of holiday would have represented the same slog as the day to day but without all conveniences of being at home; trying to get children to sleep in a camp bed when they don’t sleep anyway, trying to feed them, deal with the tantrums due to lack of sleep - nightmare. I remember coming back from a few holidays like that on my knees. A very well appointed bit of canvas would not have made the difference.