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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband booked a holiday,I don't want to do,aibu?

605 replies

breadbreadwine · 22/05/2021 10:44

My husband has booked a holiday for the half term.
I thought fab,just what we need...till he told me he has bought a 6 man tent and we are going away to Scotland for a week in a tent.
He's booked a parkdene tent holiday.
It was £155 for 4 of us and he has paid £700 for a tent.
He has bought sleeping bags,fridge etc
He said it's to save money.

Aibu here ?
A week in a tent in Scotland with 2 kids who don't sleep anyway.
I'm not high maintenance but I'm worried about the toilet /shower situation

I'm not happy

OP posts:
TellingBone · 22/05/2021 15:34

I used to have this fantasy that some bloke would surprise me with news that he'd booked a holiday for us.

'Holiday' in this context does not include trailing kids to somewhere potentially cold and wet and in a sodding tent. YANBU.

MrMucker · 22/05/2021 15:35

I wonder how DH would take it, being presented with the "truths" on here.
Combining the best-
"You have bought a surprise holiday and sourced all the necessary equipment at great cost, as well as ensuring it is something that can be used many times again and again, including when the kids might like to use it when they're older, and including when we might be able to nip away without them. I cannot think of anything more offensive! I am truly outraged at your utter thoughtlessness.It is disgusting that you would even consider something as oppressive and discriminatory, in a destination which can only guarantee being pissed on with rain and ravaged by wild beasts. I am very very disappointed, and you ought to consider it an act of supreme tolerance and loving support that I can just prevent myself from leaving you because of it. Now-can I get you a sandwich?"

This, from this thread, not me.

Anniegetyourgun · 22/05/2021 15:41

Yes, that's pretty much it. What's your point?

osbertthesyrianhamster · 22/05/2021 15:43

@MrMucker

I wonder how DH would take it, being presented with the "truths" on here. Combining the best- "You have bought a surprise holiday and sourced all the necessary equipment at great cost, as well as ensuring it is something that can be used many times again and again, including when the kids might like to use it when they're older, and including when we might be able to nip away without them. I cannot think of anything more offensive! I am truly outraged at your utter thoughtlessness.It is disgusting that you would even consider something as oppressive and discriminatory, in a destination which can only guarantee being pissed on with rain and ravaged by wild beasts. I am very very disappointed, and you ought to consider it an act of supreme tolerance and loving support that I can just prevent myself from leaving you because of it. Now-can I get you a sandwich?"

This, from this thread, not me.

Are you drunk? This makes zero sense. What are you on about?
JSL52 · 22/05/2021 15:45

YANBU

Jellybabiesforbreakfast · 22/05/2021 15:52

@MrMucker. That pretty much sums it up minus the sandwich Grin. I'd tell him to get practising with the camping-stove out in the garden because I'd be expecting something fantastic on holiday!

Blondeshavemorefun · 22/05/2021 16:06

@Lipz

Christ on a bike!!! I'd be livid, I really detest camping. I did it as a child a couple of times and hated it, when older sil kept telling me it had changed and was much better, no it's not, it's still fucking shit!!!

It's so uncomfortable and we had blow up beds, we had to get ones without the material and just rubber incase it rained, the fucking squeaking every time I moved was horrendous, it was so cold that I thought I'd die!! I was fully dressed, in a sleeping bag and sil told me to zip the sleeping bag right up my face, yeah, that's great if you don't want to breath.

Walking through soggy, mucky, swamps was a nightmare. Queuing for toilets and showers was awful, dirty filthy arses leaving them manky dirty.

That shit of sitting around the fire, blah blah blah did not happen, we were not allowed a fire so sat around a fucking bbq!!! I just don't see the love for camping some people have, if you love your little luxuries or just to be able to sit on the Jack's without someone knocking asking if you're nearly finished then don't go, tell him to go with the kids.

Oh yeah and if you hate spiders definitely don't go, I swear every fucking spider and their granny took steroids and came to our tent.

are you me :)

camping is my idea of hell

mainly as not a bed, can be cold/wet and no toilet

now if he booked a caravan at same site not a problem

maybe see if can book that, and return tent/save it for nights in the garden with daddy and you in your bed

1forAll74 · 22/05/2021 16:09

I don't like camping, so I would not go.. Your husband can go with the children,My late Husband and children used to like camping years ago, so I left them to it. They used to like going into the wilds a bit, and not on organised sites..

I have a photo of them all,taken in the 1980 era, camping in the peak district, in the snow, with a big old tent, They are all muffled up with anoraks and scarves etc, trying to cook something on a stove, in high winds and snow. very funny, !

stayathomer · 22/05/2021 16:10

Another camping hater here, saying that I'd be gutted to wave the kids off for a week on a holiday without me there no matter how awful it was and how much fake smiling I had to do. I say talk to him and try to recoup some of the costs somehow, book a different holiday and tell him he can do a night or two away in a tent with them whenever he wants

EerieSilence · 22/05/2021 16:13

Send him and the kids together and stay at home. I would and my DH knows exactly my opinion on camping.

zigzag56445 · 22/05/2021 16:14

My DH always wanted to go tent camping. I told him he can pitch a tent beside the cabin/caravan/mobile home that I will stay in, that has private toilet facilities. That's as close as I'm willing to get to camping

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 22/05/2021 16:14

Nope. I don’t understand camping holidays. Why would you travel and pay to sleep somewhere colder and more uncomfortable than your own bed?
Get the tent returned or at least put on eBay to reclaim some cost and hire a caravan. Much more comfortable.
I recommend Haven, although it can be expensive in the holidays.

LubaLuca · 22/05/2021 16:17

YANBU. I simply wouldn't go. I would also insist that he returned the hundreds of pounds work of equipment and lost the site fee. What an absolute idiot wasting money on a whim like that.

Brindisi32 · 22/05/2021 16:31

I'd be really fed up with someone booking holidays without my input. It's a long time to spend under canvas if the weather's crap. As others say, it's a very nice area, the beaches are beautiful and there are things to do/see. Fingers x for the weather....

billy1966 · 22/05/2021 16:33

I loved camping as a late teen with friends, great fun.

With a couple of children, not a chance.

We did considerate at one point as the children asked could we head off for a weekend in one.

Bought a fine 6 man tent and threw it up in the garden as a dummy run and to see how they would cope without their not inconsiderable comfortable beds.

There was huge excitement and they headed out at about 10 pm to go to sleep.

By midnight it was all over.
They filed past us in silence with their pillows under their arms and went straight to bed, without a single word.🤣

SquashMinusIsShit · 22/05/2021 16:33

No way! You have your break at home on your own.

And good luck finding an alternative now, our chalet for half term was cancelled yesterday, we found ONE replacement that was within 3.5 hours of home that was still available (and it isn't the best, presumably why it was still available!)

KatharinaRosalie · 22/05/2021 16:37

You have bought a surprise holiday and sourced all the necessary equipment at great cost

You must be reading a different thread. The one I'm on says 'You've wasted a lot of money on something I do not want to use, ever. Now you are forcing me to do something that's unpleasant and very inconvenient for me, while missing out on something I would actually enjoy, while acting like I'm the unreasonable one as I'm not grateful to do things I don't want to do.'

mindutopia · 22/05/2021 16:43

Gosh, we spent that on our summer holiday in Anglesey and are staying in a 3 bed detached house with garden near the sea for 9 nights. That seems like an awful lot of money to spend on a holiday you may not enjoy, never mind that you didn’t get a say!

BikeRunSki · 22/05/2021 16:45

Putting the tent bit aside a minute, Southerness is lovely. It is Scotland, but it’s about as far south in Scotland as you can go and bit better in England. Think if it as “north of the Lake District”. We’ve had some great family holidays in Dumfries and Galloway.

Quincie · 22/05/2021 16:51

There's a fab beach you can walk to (10 mins) east of so outherness - not med style but shallow sea , rock pools (tide disappears out between high tides) .
Take lots of midgie / mosquito repellant for wood walks.

Quincie · 22/05/2021 16:53

Also Rockcliffe , Kippford along the coast v nice bays. What age are DCs.

wewereliars · 22/05/2021 16:55

Mr Mucker, you do realise that the stupidly overpriced non refundable tent has been paid for, without any consultation, out of family funds? Why on earth should the OP be grateful?

Floralnomad · 22/05/2021 16:57

Christ no , he would be taking the kids and going without me . We camped once as a family when I was a cub leader and it was horrendous , the tent was promptly sold and that was the end of family camping , and that was actually during very hot weather in the SE . That said I don’t do caravans either .

waitingforthenextseason · 22/05/2021 16:58

I'm still shocked he thought it was reasonable to spend that amount of money on a camping holiday and second hand equipment without talking to you first. Especially ... camping! which is a marmite activity for most.

AnExcellentWalker · 22/05/2021 17:00

Whether it's new or 2nd hand, you definitely need to get it out & check it's all complete, in good condition etc. If it's 2nd hand, make sure it's not been put away damp or kept somewhere damp, & allowed to go mouldy. Make sure all the pegs etc are there & you have a mallet for them. If it's an airbeam, presumably you need to check it doesn't have a leak, & sort any leaks if there are any - including to the roof.

I love camping but your DH wants his head examined for doing this without discussing it with you first.

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