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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband booked a holiday,I don't want to do,aibu?

605 replies

breadbreadwine · 22/05/2021 10:44

My husband has booked a holiday for the half term.
I thought fab,just what we need...till he told me he has bought a 6 man tent and we are going away to Scotland for a week in a tent.
He's booked a parkdene tent holiday.
It was £155 for 4 of us and he has paid £700 for a tent.
He has bought sleeping bags,fridge etc
He said it's to save money.

Aibu here ?
A week in a tent in Scotland with 2 kids who don't sleep anyway.
I'm not high maintenance but I'm worried about the toilet /shower situation

I'm not happy

OP posts:
FangsForTheMemory · 22/05/2021 17:04

I'd tell him he's going on his own. I once spent ONE night in a tent in the middle of summer, after a blazing hot day and I thought I was going to freeze. Never again.

Anniegetyourgun · 22/05/2021 17:14

Having given it further thought, "ensuring it is something that can be used many times again and again, including when the kids might like to use it when they're older, and including when we might be able to nip away without them" is probably the most horrific thing about it. No doubt OP would be expected to justify every time she didn't want to camp because the tent exists, it's paid for, and any holiday that didn't involve it would be considered wasteful. No more roof, bathroom, bar etc etc for ever and ever. Argh.

Can't help wondering whether MrMucker is the OP's DH.

skybluee · 22/05/2021 17:22

It sounds nice (the place, not tent) but he should've discussed it with you first, any big decision like that.

I would be happy to go in a caravan, not tent, like other people are saying.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 22/05/2021 17:27

@Floralnomad

Christ no , he would be taking the kids and going without me . We camped once as a family when I was a cub leader and it was horrendous , the tent was promptly sold and that was the end of family camping , and that was actually during very hot weather in the SE . That said I don’t do caravans either .
Yeah, see, I left the Cubs, Scouts and DoE stuff to DH and DD. I do love to go on long walking routes, but we do B&Bs with bag transfer (one time we did a route with my friend's h driving their luxurious motorhome to each camp complete with hookup). It's fab, you spend all day hiking with just your day pack, have a pub dinner and pint and hot (private) shower and comfy bed, full breakfast the next morning (usually just bring a filled roll for lunch and a snack bar for lunch).

Again, DD's got a Tesco tent that's seen her through her silver DoE already and she and DH have used it often. They have a very easy to set up canopy from Decathalon they take along, too, if they are not backpacking.

We do have a lovely, larger Vango tent they take if they're going with other people, but I wouldn't know how to set it up because nah.

But again, I'd never plan a holiday of site seeing art museums and historical interest sites with either of them and a) expect them to go along happily and b) be grateful. Haahaa. Anymore than they expect me to go sea kayaking with a wild camp.

3scape · 22/05/2021 17:29

"Have a lovely time and see you when you get back love" would be all I'd say on it.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 22/05/2021 17:32

@skybluee

It sounds nice (the place, not tent) but he should've discussed it with you first, any big decision like that.

I would be happy to go in a caravan, not tent, like other people are saying.

I find that area of the country beautiful! I really do. Some of the happiest memories of my life are there. But none of them involves a tent Grin. Caravan or lodge all the way.

It's cold at night. Even in Summer. The vans have heaters.

thenewduchessofhastings · 22/05/2021 18:06

Return the tent and upgrade to a caravan.

What about everything else you'll need;sleeping bags,air beds,camping stove,cool box,lights.........the list goes on.

Topseyt · 22/05/2021 18:32

I would be furious. Camping is shit.

A decent caravan or nice lodge would be something I could work with but not a shitty tent.

I'd be telling him that he could take the children on his own. I'd be staying at home with a good book, comfort, peace and quiet and good food. All of my creature comforts.

HeavyHeidi · 22/05/2021 19:37

including when we might be able to nip away without them

Romantic holiday for which you need to pack everything including the kitchen sink, in a freezing tent, eaten by midges and sharing filthy toilets. Mmm...

osbertthesyrianhamster · 22/05/2021 19:42

@HeavyHeidi

including when we might be able to nip away without them

Romantic holiday for which you need to pack everything including the kitchen sink, in a freezing tent, eaten by midges and sharing filthy toilets. Mmm...

Yep. And you just know, a person like this expects the other party to handle all of that. Nope. Can nip away anytime to Premier Inn with a Hypnos bed for starting at £30 a night in a lot of places, all you can eat breakfast cooked by someone else and cleaned up by someone else for £9/each.

As for grateful? Please.

WingingItSince1973 · 22/05/2021 21:18

We have done the camping with kids. Luxury tent, fridge, cooker, very comfy beds. Still have to walk across a dark field in the night to use the loo or as I did resort to the kids sand castle bucket! Plus all the zips in the night just to have a wee! We did have a laugh but honestly I was so so tired when we got home I needed another holiday! Oh and we argue putting the tent up 🤣

Lweji · 22/05/2021 22:17

MrMucker

This is like a present that we know the recipient will like vs a present that doesn't match the recipient's interests, worse, gives them more hassle.
Holiday booked in a place equivalent to where they stayed before and liked, okeish.
Holiday booked for something they had never done without consulting, bad idea.

mainsfed · 22/05/2021 22:19

I’d send him on his own / with kids. Just don’t go.

He’ll never do this again.

doubleshotespresso · 22/05/2021 22:24

Hell no OP- make him cancel this is sounding like hell.
That's not a holiday it's torture

toocold54 · 22/05/2021 22:48

He was doing a nice thing! You said yourself you all need a holiday and there are very limited options at the moment.

Go for the experience we only live once so have a go and if you end up hating it then sleep in the car or go home early. I bet your DCs will love it.

Magenta82 · 22/05/2021 23:06

@toocold54

He was doing a nice thing! You said yourself you all need a holiday and there are very limited options at the moment.

Go for the experience we only live once so have a go and if you end up hating it then sleep in the car or go home early. I bet your DCs will love it.

He wasn't doing a nice thing, he didn't take the OP's feelings into consideration, he wanted to go and didn't think about her.

Camping is one of those things that you need to talk about first, so many people hate it that it's not cool to just spring it on someone.

Also it is more thank likely that OP will be expected to do most of the work and it really won't be a break for her.

Suzi888 · 22/05/2021 23:07

I’d love the spontaneity. Blush

Thistles24 · 22/05/2021 23:13

Any chance you could switch the booking for a caravan and return the tent? We’ve stayed at parkdean quite a lot, and caravans are usually around £300 for the week, the chalets are a bit more but both are fine for what they are! This was precovid prices though. I wouldn’t do a tent for a week with kids though- especially for a first camping trip! Laundry facilities are quite pricey at parkdean from what I remember.

Joeblack066 · 22/05/2021 23:28

A £700 tent is probably inflatable, so not much effort there.
If he’s bought a lot of kit you should be comfortable.
Rain in a good tent is no different to rain anywhere- it won’t leak!
Try it- you might like it! If not, you can reasonably then say that it’s not for you.

namechanging202020 · 22/05/2021 23:39

It's going to be veryyyyyy wet
Sorry but it would be a no from me!

Justilou1 · 22/05/2021 23:44

If he’s spent that much on a bloody tent it will be camping holidays from here until eternity too. “But we love camping. We ALWAYS go camping, don’t we Love?” Burn the tent now.

WrongWayApricot · 22/05/2021 23:50

Oh no OP, isn't that the same week you booked a spa getaway? 🤔 What an absolute shame, at least hubby can tell you all about his wonderful adventures with the kids when he gets back. 🤷

MiddlesexGirl · 22/05/2021 23:51

Ugh. My worst nightmare. No way would I be going.

Topseyt · 23/05/2021 00:10

@toocold54

He was doing a nice thing! You said yourself you all need a holiday and there are very limited options at the moment.

Go for the experience we only live once so have a go and if you end up hating it then sleep in the car or go home early. I bet your DCs will love it.

Camping is not a nice thing. Not for many of us
CherryBerryx · 23/05/2021 00:15

In my personal relationship if my other half booked a little get away for us, that's fine. However If he spent £700 on a tent, I'd hit the roof.
Is it his own money he bought this with or a joint account? If it's his own money he has spent and he genuinely wants you and the kids to go and enjoy yourselves I would certainly try my best. However if he has done it with money from a joint account without consulting you then I would be mortified.