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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband booked a holiday,I don't want to do,aibu?

605 replies

breadbreadwine · 22/05/2021 10:44

My husband has booked a holiday for the half term.
I thought fab,just what we need...till he told me he has bought a 6 man tent and we are going away to Scotland for a week in a tent.
He's booked a parkdene tent holiday.
It was £155 for 4 of us and he has paid £700 for a tent.
He has bought sleeping bags,fridge etc
He said it's to save money.

Aibu here ?
A week in a tent in Scotland with 2 kids who don't sleep anyway.
I'm not high maintenance but I'm worried about the toilet /shower situation

I'm not happy

OP posts:
CorvusPurpureus · 23/05/2021 01:35

The thing with camping as a family: you start low key, with cheap kit, one night, guaranteed good weather.

You don't start by buying a £700 second hand tent off eBay. Actually, under no circumstances would you pay that - it's either being sold by some other idiot who didn't know what they were doing & has broken bits they didn't know existed, or at best it's much more tent than you could possibly need for 2 weeks in Scotland.

You'd also need a heck of a lot more kit for a fortnight than just the tent. You've barely started spending money.

I love camping, & would really enjoy a couple of weeks in Scotland a tent with dc right now - we're expats & not sure if we will get back to the U.K. to see family this year.

But no. Sorry OP - your OH is a selfish wally.

velvethaze · 23/05/2021 03:27

Sounds awful

KatharinaRosalie · 23/05/2021 07:53

people who are saying how lovely it will be and what a great surprise - you might like camping and would love to go, OP doesn't. Can't you imagine if you would be pretty much forced to do something you don't like? DH comes home and says that 'Surprise! I've booked a fasting camp/cheerful 18-30 bus ride to Magaluf/week of deep sea fishing/agreed to spend your holiday in MILs spare bedroom so you can do all the housework and cooking for PILs' and you would always go yay what a lovely surprise for our family holiday!

Magenta82 · 23/05/2021 08:05

@KatharinaRosalie

people who are saying how lovely it will be and what a great surprise - you might like camping and would love to go, OP doesn't. Can't you imagine if you would be pretty much forced to do something you don't like? DH comes home and says that 'Surprise! I've booked a fasting camp/cheerful 18-30 bus ride to Magaluf/week of deep sea fishing/agreed to spend your holiday in MILs spare bedroom so you can do all the housework and cooking for PILs' and you would always go yay what a lovely surprise for our family holiday!

So much this!

Whammyyammy · 23/05/2021 08:13

Yanbu. That does sound anything like a holiday. Sounds awful

lockdownalli · 23/05/2021 10:15

You coming back @breadbreadwine?

999Alex · 23/05/2021 10:33

You say he has form for this sort of thing, not sure is still be with him if that was the case. I certainly would not be going!

I'm near Glasgow and it's bn so cold here recently. Friday I picked kids up at nursery at 5pm and it was 9degrees outside and wind chill was shocking! Wkend before it was rainy and 5 degrees at 2pm in the afternoon. The weather doesn't look like it's improving any time soon either Overnight u will be freezing, there's no way I'd do it. See if it's possible to send rent bk too if it's new from a seller.

IamnotSethRogan · 23/05/2021 10:34

I love camping but have only got back into it now my children are older and sleep (youngest is 5). I'm not sure how old your children are but the fact that you have described them as non sleepers makes me think quite young and even enthusiastic campers might not want to stay awake in a tent all night with toddlers

If you can't return it, can you resell it, recoup the costs and book an onsite caravan? After the year we've all had, you don't need a holiday that you're dreading on the horizon.

Can you compromise with DH and say you guys can do camping when the kids are a bit older and you'll get more out of it?

Tooshytoshine · 23/05/2021 10:42

I love camping. A week in a tent with kids is a lifetime.

At this stage though I would go and set a time limit of three nights - longer than this is hard, especially without good weather.

I would take a lot of wine.

DaphneDuBois · 23/05/2021 10:54

It’s really thoughtless / selfish to book a holiday for four people without discussing it with any of them first. He’s thought solely about his own needs. If I didn’t want to go, I wouldn’t be going. My idea of a holiday doesn’t involve a week of me doing something I am unhappy doing to please somebody else who didn’t consider me. Let him resell the tent and sort out cancellations.

Original poster
breadbreadwine · 23/05/2021 10:58

So sorry I was out yesterday with friends for food and drinks so feeling a bit delicate today Blush
I've been looking and no caravans for chosen dates at the site (I was tempted to book one for me )
Tent was second hand off eBay so can't even return it as it was private seller.
I've agreed to go but if the weather turns bad I'm going to the nearest premier inn.
I've been on Amazon this morning looking at ways to make it nice (throws ,fairy lights )
Air beds etc
He wanted us to just use sleeping bags
I told him to get stuffed
Does anyone have any other advice to make it nice ?
And trick my brain into thinking I'm in a nice lodge not a tent

OP posts:
Original poster
breadbreadwine · 23/05/2021 10:59

Apparently the weather is getting up to 15 /17 when we are there but like a few people have said the nights in may /June are still chilly

OP posts:
Original poster
breadbreadwine · 23/05/2021 11:01

Also now he thinks every holiday will be in this bloody tent
He's saying things like

Think of the money we will save each year on accommodation

This is a investment

Best decision "we " ever made

We can pack up the car and go anywhere

I honestly feel like making him sleep in the garden in the tent !

OP posts:
user11838686969686 · 23/05/2021 11:03

Air beds etc
He wanted us to just use sleeping bags

Wow, he really doesn't knowing anything about camping, does he?

You need insulation between you and the ground - if you're using airbeds then you still need insulation (camp mat will do) between the airbed and the ground otherwise you will end up very, very cold.

It's not just about the layers on top of you, but the ones underneath you. You could have 10 blankets over you, but if you've no insulation underneath you then you'll still be freezing cold from the ground.

Notgoingonholiday · 23/05/2021 11:06

What about eating/cooking? Has he thought of all that. Honestly there's so much stuff you need, not just the sleeping bags etc. Will your car fit everything? You are so right to be annoyed.

Jellybabiesforbreakfast · 23/05/2021 11:11

What about eating/cooking? Has he thought of all that.

Presumably the wifebot who deals with all that stuff at home will be packed up in the car along with the sleeping-bags so there's no need for him to trouble his head about it.

Does anyone have any other advice to make it nice ?

Burn it. That'll make it nice and cosy Wink. And then book a hotel instead.

Lovemusic33 · 23/05/2021 11:15

We enjoy camping but only for 2 or 3 nights at a time.

I would be pissed off too, mainly because he should have discussed it first. The money he spent on camping equipment could have paid to stay in a caravan instead, yes camping saves money but that’s if you want to go again, lots of people only go once and then sell their tent as it’s not for them 🤣.

We are camping in half term but also have a caravan booked for a week in the summer holidays.

Notgoingonholiday · 23/05/2021 11:23

Burn it. That'll make it nice and cosy wink. And then book a hotel instead.
Grin
I know re food situation. He has done big grand gesture of booking a 'holiday' (in reality a week of hard work especially if you don't go camping regularly)...the rest obviously happens by magic.

Jellybabiesforbreakfast · 23/05/2021 11:39

If you're really going to go, OP, get comfy blow up beds for you and the children. Something like this might work for the kids if there's room in the tent:

www.amazon.co.uk/Intex-Travel-Inflatable-Mattress-Pump-Mint/dp/B077VQPB1C?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

If there isn't room, you could always eject your supreme camping leader to sleep under the stars (and in the drizzle!) so he gets the full camping experience.

You need a tent heater....so you need to work out whether you will have a power source or not. Also one that will be safe for the kids. None of you will sleep a wink if you're freezing.

How old are your kids? You're going to have to be 100% on it with safety and keeping them away from the camping-stove (yours and everyone else's). I'd bring a foldable playpen to put the camping stove in but I'm prepared to admit to being paranoid about hot cookers and boiling water around little children (I know someone who was permanently scarred by a boiling pan which they overturned as a toddler).

PhillipPhillop · 23/05/2021 12:00

Ok go this once. He's doing the cooking etc. Hopefully it won't be as 'fun' as he thinks and that will be the end of it. Tell him in advance that if you don't like it you won't be going again. Putting the tent up before you go is an absolute must. Put the hose on and drench it to test for holes. Will you have enough room in the car for all the extras - utensils, heaters, bedding, beds etc?

sueelleker · 23/05/2021 12:04

@breadbreadwine

Also now he thinks every holiday will be in this bloody tent He's saying things like

Think of the money we will save each year on accommodation

This is a investment

Best decision "we " ever made

We can pack up the car and go anywhere

I honestly feel like making him sleep in the garden in the tent !

I was going to suggest he has to sleep in it for at least a weekend first. With just the basic equipment he seems to think will be OK. (And pick a wet weekend if you can)
Newkitchen123 · 23/05/2021 12:14

Just think how nice it'll be to have the house to yourself while he takes the kids to Scotland.

SnowdaySewday · 23/05/2021 12:15

He needs to have a practice sleep in it first.

If he's still keen to go, he can take the children and you can have a break at home. I wouldn’t make plans for the whole week though, especially if the weather in Scotland turns out to be wet.

ilikemethewayiam · 23/05/2021 12:16

OP, have you made it clear to him that this is a one off for you and you will NOT be doing it again? If he’s talking about it being an investment and saving money blah blah blah, then it doesn’t sound like you’ve got the message across. You need to stand your ground now so he doesn’t try booking again. You are more forgiving than I would be over this. I would not allow myself to railroaded into going camping. I would rather chew off my own leg!

osbertthesyrianhamster · 23/05/2021 12:18

He landed on his feet with you.