How much to pay parents for childcare?

[shivawn]

Currently pregnant with my first child and thinking ahead to how I'll manage childcare when I go back to work next year! My mum has offered to do childcare for me, she's expressed that she doesn't expect to be paid but we're in a decent financial position and I obviously want to. I just have no idea whats fair and normal. Our son will be 8 months old when I go back to work.

Just for background my mum is fairly young at 57 and retired early, she does the odd bit of airbnb for extra income but my dad hates having strangers in the house. Dad is also retired, he is 68 and they mostly live off his pension. This is their first grandchild and mum in particular is so excited and keen to be involved.

My situation is that I'm a nurse working 3 days a weeks (13 hour shifts) but I work every second weekend so it'll work out on average to 2 days a week that I need the childcare because DH will mind him at the weekends. My husband works 5 days a week, normal hours with a half day on Fridays. So the days that I'm working, he will collect our son from my parents at 5 or 1 if its a Friday.

I'll also be asking her to mind him one evening a week for a few hours so that we can go out for dinner and a date night, its important to me that we still make time and an effort for each other.

TLDR - How much should I pay my mum to mind my 8 month old for 2 days a week 8-5 and 1 evening a week?

Is 500-600 a month fair?

Oh and we have been out maybe 3 times since DD was born with out her. Just too tired & can't be bothered. Even with people offering. Nothing better than pjs netflix & dominos. Oh how my life has changed....

We paid £50/day and provided nappies etc. It didn’t work out though long term due to unreliability. We needed child care that wasn’t suddenly saying oh can only do a half day or trying to swap days. Or just putting DC in front of TV all day / giving DC a load of crap. The odd day, no problem, on a regular basis though not great. We were all relieved when DC went to nursery after a few months instead and we got the rock solid child care we needed.

I truly think she will be offended if you insist on paying. Just pay a childminder or nursery if you want to pay someone.

I think when your child is born you'll have a shock to the system when it comes to date nights! This is coming from someone who has an 8 month old and has been up with them twice already since midnight. My ideal date night is watching tv in bed and asleep by 9pm 😉.

You might not feel like a weekly date night once your baby and later child is here. Maybe take that one as it comes…

I guess it depends on where you live. Round here (Greater London), it's about £10 per child childminder and c. £100 a day for very average nursery. I do find the idea of paying grandparents odd, but then again, if I was in your situation, I would also want to pay something or buy them a holiday etc so I get where you're coming from.

That's sounds like the ideal set up. You've got ages yet, but it's good to have a plan set in place if everyone is willing. £5-600 sounds very generous for 2 days a week and I'm sure if shes anything like my mum was when mine were little, she'll spend most of it on outings and treats for her grandchild.