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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nursery workers false accusation

141 replies

beecurtains · 21/05/2021 18:09

I've been sent a screenshot of a post from a local Facebook group posted by a lady who works at a nursery near us.

There's a photo of one of our relatives leaning on the fence outside of a kids park accusing him of being a paedophile hanging round watching and shouting over at the children. Relative had taken my DC out, he is in a wheelchair and can't get into the actual play area so would have watched them from behind the fence.

The post got a quite a few shares and 100's of comments calling him horrific names, people saying they will look out for him and making threats if they ever see him again. Shes liking and replying to all of these comments, asking people to share and warn other parents.

I dont want to tell him about this as he would be devastated but I'm worried hes now at risk and angry someone would post something like this about him.

WIBU to try and contact the nursery? Surely its a crime to publicly accuse someone like this with out any proof and especially bad considering her job?

OP posts:
rwalker · 22/05/2021 09:45

Tell him to check his insurance see it he has legal cover or failing that a no win in fee lawyer .
Doubt hell get anything but I'm not a vengeful person but she could destroy his life with this shit she deserves it .

tensmum1964 · 22/05/2021 10:13

I think the horror of this is resonating with so many people because it could happen to any one of us or someone we love. I am not a vengeful person either but people who do this stuff need to be stopped and reap the consequences of their actions. It is so dangerous. I personally hope that she loses her job and although unlikely is prosecuted.

81Byerley · 22/05/2021 10:58

You need to go to the police about this. Your poor relative is in danger.

MrsXx4 · 22/05/2021 11:10

Unbelievably wrong to post on Facebook. Genuine concerns over children’s safety should surely be directed to the police / social services. I would be reporting this to the police so they are aware and know about the case should any of the Facebook brigade take matters into their own hands and harm your relative.

AMillionMilesAway · 22/05/2021 11:25

Any update OP? I've been thinking about this over the weekend. Hop everything is OK

Onesnowynight · 22/05/2021 11:36

I just read this, what an awful accusation to make. I hope it got taken down and a public apology made. If not I would seriously consider reporting this.

Howshouldibehave · 22/05/2021 11:39

Is there an update to this?

Germolenequeen · 22/05/2021 11:47

Screenshot it and report the nursery to Ofsted

What? The Nursery didn't post the picture & can't be held responsible 🙄
As pp have said report to police & let them deal with it.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 22/05/2021 11:57

And demand the nursery also issue a massive apology. The apology has to have triple the impact of the accusation

That's a good point about the need for a much bigger impact. And there will still be people aho mutter "There's no smoke . . . "

I would definitely get on to this woman's employer - as she works for a nurse, people will give her opinion credence because they'll think she knows what she's talking about. Point out to the nursery that they could possibly find themselves on the wrong end of a lawsuit if anything happens to your relative, as she is their employee and agent and this gives her opinion a lot more weight. They'll distance themselves from her PDQ, I'm sure.

Original poster
beecurtains · 22/05/2021 19:25

Sorry for disappearing.
The post has been deleted and there’s been an apology and corrected version posted instead, We're going through and messaging the people who saw it as well.
The lady who posted it also seems to be removed from group.

I will contact the nursery on Monday and would want to take it further but he’s DH’s relative and he wants to avoid him finding out which I get, he wouldn’t really understand it and it would really upset him.

He doesn’t live alone, I’ve spoke to the person who he lives with who also thinks he’s probably better off not knowing. He isn’t going out on his own at the moment either, him and DC have really enjoyed going out together once a week and they will continue to. I've told eldest DS (12) who knows to watch out and be able to explain if necessary.

OP posts:
SkodaKodiaq · 22/05/2021 21:21

@beecurtains

Sorry for disappearing. The post has been deleted and there’s been an apology and corrected version posted instead, We're going through and messaging the people who saw it as well. The lady who posted it also seems to be removed from group.

I will contact the nursery on Monday and would want to take it further but he’s DH’s relative and he wants to avoid him finding out which I get, he wouldn’t really understand it and it would really upset him.

He doesn’t live alone, I’ve spoke to the person who he lives with who also thinks he’s probably better off not knowing. He isn’t going out on his own at the moment either, him and DC have really enjoyed going out together once a week and they will continue to. I've told eldest DS (12) who knows to watch out and be able to explain if necessary.

This has broken my heart. As a disabled person it INFURIATES me how so many presume disabled people to be weirdos. I once got approached in soft play and asked if I had a child with me (my little girl was in the play frame Hmm) It's sickening.

I would also have DH join the group and make a post about it himself. If nothing else, but to simply reach more people.

I'm so sorry this happened. Something really needs to be done about this social media shaming

SkodaKodiaq · 22/05/2021 21:23

Oh and PLEASE don't let the Nursery Worker get away with this. Reporting her will not mean he finds out. Disciplinary action will be kept confidential and will hopefully teach this disgusting woman not to judge others in future

memberofthewedding · 24/05/2021 00:31

Not telling your relative may seem the best option at present. However what if at some future time he is out with (or without) the child and someone recognizes him from the photo and begins to berate him? The poor guy will not know whats going on or have the means to defend himself.

Taking down the post is all very well but how many times has it been copied and re-posted? Thats the evil thing about this kind of accusation.

mainsfed · 24/05/2021 05:46

So did DH message them, is that why they issued apology?

Blackhawkdown2020 · 24/05/2021 11:10

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

melj1213 · 25/05/2021 09:43

How did it go when you contacted the nursery OP?

I hope they were supportive and will be following up with their employee to make sure they know how serious it is to make such allegations, especially if they do it from a place of "authority" as a childcare worker.

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