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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nursery workers false accusation

141 replies

beecurtains · 21/05/2021 18:09

I've been sent a screenshot of a post from a local Facebook group posted by a lady who works at a nursery near us.

There's a photo of one of our relatives leaning on the fence outside of a kids park accusing him of being a paedophile hanging round watching and shouting over at the children. Relative had taken my DC out, he is in a wheelchair and can't get into the actual play area so would have watched them from behind the fence.

The post got a quite a few shares and 100's of comments calling him horrific names, people saying they will look out for him and making threats if they ever see him again. Shes liking and replying to all of these comments, asking people to share and warn other parents.

I dont want to tell him about this as he would be devastated but I'm worried hes now at risk and angry someone would post something like this about him.

WIBU to try and contact the nursery? Surely its a crime to publicly accuse someone like this with out any proof and especially bad considering her job?

OP posts:
FTEngineerM · 21/05/2021 20:32

Aaaannnd that’s the problem with imbeciles sharing things on social media.

Anyone can take a photo of anyone, upload it and say anything about them and suddenly have people sharing it thousands of times over.

EverythingRuined · 21/05/2021 20:36

@ThatChristinaAguileraSong

Contact the admins of the page and don't ask them to delete it - ask them to EDIT it clarifying the situation. Deleting it only stops more people from seeing it, it won't change the opinion of anyone who has already seen it - an edit will be more visible. What she's done isn't a criminal offence but contact the police because the threats are - so contact the police. She's committed slander, a type of defamation, so she needs to make a post saying that she was mistaken.
I agree 👍🏻
SchadenfreudePersonified · 21/05/2021 20:41

@Totallyrandomname

What a disgrace.

I would contact the nursery and the police non emergency line.

No one should make accusations like these. If she has concerns they should be reported to the police and/or social care.

Given the situation I would be inclined to comment and explain why he was watching from behind the fence and suggest if they don’t like people watching children from outside maybe they could support making the park accessible for wheelchair users!

This.

Shocking action by her. This is how lives get ruined and innocent 9and vulnerable) people get wrongly accused and targeted.

Meowchickameowmeow · 21/05/2021 20:41

The police should be your first port of call.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 21/05/2021 20:44

She's committed slander, a type of defamation, so she needs to make a post saying that she was mistaken.

It's a libel, as it is written (slander is spoken), but I'm splitting hairs - what she has done is actionable - your relative could sue. If he gets hurt as a result she could be in a LOT of trouble, ad serve her right.

TedImgoingmad · 21/05/2021 20:45

Police first. They need a heads up that your relative might in danger from vigilante types. Also, make a complaint about targeted harassment of a vulnerable person.

Definitely contact Ofsted, as well as the the head/owner of the nursery and any governors.

Screenshot all posts, both the original one and any in reply or liking the post.

Do all of that first before contacting her direct.

Moondust001 · 21/05/2021 20:53

@EmeraldShamrock

She is endangering his life. I'd phone the police.
I agree, I'd call the police. I'd probably then post that fact all over Facebook.
AMillionMilesAway · 21/05/2021 20:55

This is pretty horrifying.
I'd post on the post clarifying the situation and asking her to remove it, for a start.
Then I'd screenshot it and call the nursery as soon as it's open and demand to speak to the manager. Normally I am against contacting employers but in this case I would make an exception
Even without the backstory, it's not illegal to lean over a fence to talk to children, FFS. (even if, these days, it's probably unwise!)
I'd even consider police. Surely there must be a crime in falsely accusing people.

3WildOnes · 21/05/2021 21:02

Contact the police ASAP your relative is at risk of being attacked. Police need to make sure that he is safe.

rwalker · 21/05/2021 21:03

You can't leave it . It needs to be dealt with NOW

Librariesmakeshhhhappen · 21/05/2021 21:03

This is really awful. I hope you've managed to get screenshots of her post and all her comments and got in touch to have the post edited to reflect the truth. Your relative should be warned, and the police can help you with that. Just to make sure they are aware he might be in danger, and so they can speak to the woman about what she has done.
And aboaultely contact the nursery!

Fluffycloudland77 · 21/05/2021 21:09

@baldafrique

Instruct a lawyer and get her sued for slander. 100%.
That would be over £50k in legal fees and slanders verbal defamation not written.
laidbacklife · 21/05/2021 21:15

The is horrendous. Report the post to the Facebook group admin (you’ll find a ‘report post’ option top right of the post) and complain to the nursery. You can probably report the post to Facebook too if the group admin doesn’t respond quickly.

Newschapter · 21/05/2021 21:20

There's no way I'd let that lie at all.

Report to the police and the nursery.

I'd also be contacting a solicitor and make sure she receives a letter.

Staffy1 · 21/05/2021 21:24

@cabbageking

Don't engage or post any other versions.

Show it to the nursery and seek advice from a solicitor for libel/ defamaton which is a civil offence and not police actionable.

I think the police would actually take this very seriously, it would certainly be actionable. Not doing anything except waiting for advice from a solicitor might take too long to correct this information for all the people who have already seen it and believe it.
ThatChristinaAguileraSong · 21/05/2021 21:33

@SchadenfreudePersonified

She's committed slander, a type of defamation, so she needs to make a post saying that she was mistaken.

It's a libel, as it is written (slander is spoken), but I'm splitting hairs - what she has done is actionable - your relative could sue. If he gets hurt as a result she could be in a LOT of trouble, ad serve her right.

You're absolutely correct - s for slander is s for spoken, l for letters is l for libel. Rookie error hahaha.
mygee · 21/05/2021 21:35

This is awful!

I agree that you should screenshot everything and contact the police. Unfortunately you'll need to warn your poor relative too.

I wouldn't usually agree with contacting employers but given her job I think I would- she should be trained in the proper procedures with regards to safeguarding concerns. Posting photos on Facebook is certainly not part of that!

Charityshops21 · 21/05/2021 21:47

Christ. What a stupid woman. Your poor relative.

First thing to do is get onto that Facebook group and post there what you've said here. Many times.

Then you need to contact the police.

Then the nursery.

I hope she gets the bloody sack.

tensmum1964 · 21/05/2021 21:51

Definitely call the Police. She has potentially put him at serious risk. Also contact who ever is admin for this group and allowed this post and ask them to post a statement from you stating that he was looking after your child. If they refuse threaten them with legal action. Lastly contact her employer and send them a screenshot. She deserves to be sacked and prosecuted. This could be considered a hate crime.

WorraLiberty · 21/05/2021 22:07

The post got a quite a few shares and 100's of comments calling him horrific names, people saying they will look out for him and making threats if they ever see him again. Shes liking and replying to all of these comments, asking people to share and warn other parents.

I dont want to tell him about this as he would be devastated but I'm worried hes now at risk and angry someone would post something like this about him.

Christ, you have to tell him he's at risk. I would be very unfair not to.

Even if the nursery worker does take it down, the shares from other people will stay.

GypsyWanderer · 21/05/2021 22:15

For something anecdotal, I’m part of a local Facebook group and somebody videoed confronting a man who has allegedly been staring and talking photos of children. Apparently a few people had seen him doing this. The Facebook group blew up! People were saying they knew him and where he worked. Others were putting photos of the car he drives and where he likes to walk etc. I know somebody who he works with and the whole office were talking about it. The police were called obviously and he went to the station himself. It turned out that it was mistaken identity. It was a similar looking guy but not the same guy, one person made a mistake and everybody else jumped on and it got out of control. Purely anecdotal I know but it shows how these things can quickly turn into a witch hunt.

GypsyWanderer · 21/05/2021 22:16

@GypsyWanderer

For something anecdotal, I’m part of a local Facebook group and somebody videoed confronting a man who has allegedly been staring and talking photos of children. Apparently a few people had seen him doing this. The Facebook group blew up! People were saying they knew him and where he worked. Others were putting photos of the car he drives and where he likes to walk etc. I know somebody who he works with and the whole office were talking about it. The police were called obviously and he went to the station himself. It turned out that it was mistaken identity. It was a similar looking guy but not the same guy, one person made a mistake and everybody else jumped on and it got out of control. Purely anecdotal I know but it shows how these things can quickly turn into a witch hunt.
Sorry about the typos, I may or may not be celebrating my birthday which was yesterday and there may or may not be wine involved.
icelollycraving · 21/05/2021 22:19

This is horrific. Screenshot everything including replies, likes and shares. Call the police and get them to give advice. This is surely a hate crime/ inciting violence?
Your poor relative Sad

CutieBear · 21/05/2021 22:28

@beecurtains

I dont have a facebook account so going to get DH to message her. I think only members of the group can make posts, if thats a thing? I feel like I dont want her to get away with just having to delete it though, people have already saw and believed it
Screenshot the original post and the comments. Keep this as evidence.
blubberyboo · 21/05/2021 22:34

The nursery needs to be made aware that they need to make a public apology non behalf of their staff member for their false public accusations and her incitement of violence towards a disable person minding their own business. And that you have contacted the police and a solicitor.
She needs to lose her job