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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For just wishing I didnt have to go to my sisters wedding (whinge warning!)

44 replies

tullytwo · 17/11/2007 09:52

My sister is getting married next summer and it is turning into a complete nightmare to try and get over to it.

I am in NI and she is in cornwall. The flights between the 2 places arent great.

The wedding is on a saturday so we either have to go for 2 weeks or arrive the day before the wedding or move out of rental cottage on morning of the wedding and stay in hotel that night. It was too expensive to pay for 2 weeks rental and I didnt really want to keep the boys out of school for that long so had decided to go over the friday (the day) before the wedding. This still involved getting into bristol at half five and having to drive through to cornwall with 3 kids including dd who will just be 2.

But was just glad to have made a decision and be able to book somewhere before the cottages all went.

So was feeling happy and went on to check out flights between bristol and me and they dont fly on a friday or saturday - aaaaghh! So that now means having to find a hotel in bristol and fly in on a thursday night which means adding another couple of hundred quid to the bill for a hotel and also means we have to leave our rental place a day early so we can get a flight home.

I am now trying to find alternate routes but a lot of airlines understandably dont have their schedules up for next summer yet.

I do feel bad but it is turning into such a stress and we just have no money and the bill keeps mounting - it looks as if we will have to spend @£2k for less than a week in cornwall and we havent had a holiday in 2 or 3 years and this wont really be one - I find my family very hard to be around en masse hence the decision to fly in late.

Am I a miserable old bitch then or justified in finding this all very stressful?!

OP posts:
Saturn74 · 17/11/2007 09:55

Sounds stressful.

£2K is extremely expensive.
Maybe another MNer could link to some better deals?

I suppose you just have to hope your sister only gets married once!

tullytwo · 17/11/2007 10:01

Oh thankyou - think I would have burst into tears if you had said I was a miserable old witch!

Its mainly the really long trip to get there with 3 young kids I am dreading the most tbh and just trying to find the money somewhere!

OP posts:
ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 17/11/2007 10:06

Oh my god, you are very justified in feeling like this. Going to weddings is sooo expensive.

Have you investigated house swapping?

bluefox · 17/11/2007 10:10

can you not stay in a travelodge on the thursday night? This would bring the cost down significantly from the £200 you expect to pay for that night. I think you can book a year in advance and can cancel at the last minute if you find somewhere else.

tullytwo · 17/11/2007 10:17

I couldnt find a travelodge in bristol - holidayinn was the closest kind of thing and their family rooms are for a family of 4 not 5.

Is there one in bristol?

OP posts:
crokky · 17/11/2007 10:20

You are certainly not a miserable old bitch! It is a difficult situation and the expense sounds like a shocker!

lemonaid · 17/11/2007 10:21

You could always get the ferry from Belfast to Liverpool and drive down -- although it would be six hours or so in the car getting from Liverpool to Cornwall. That should keep the cost down.

crokky · 17/11/2007 10:22

my geography is not great, but could you fly to bournemouth?

lemonaid · 17/11/2007 10:24

There are three Travelodges in Bristol:

Bristol Central
Bristol Cribbs Causeway
Bristol Severn View M48

lemonaid · 17/11/2007 10:27

Or Newquay? There are flights between Belfast City and Newquay in the summer (no idea of timetable, though).

Troutpout · 17/11/2007 10:27

What about
here

You would pay per person but breakfast is included

tullytwo · 17/11/2007 10:27

I contemplated the ferry but dd will only be 2 and I just think the drive and crossing would be tough on her and us! Also once you count in petrol plus the long drive and the ferry crossing times are usually at odd times I just thought it would be easier to fly. Its still a trek from bristol. A good chunk of the cost is having to hire somewhere for a week - cornwall is shockingly expensive especially in the middle of june!

Thanks for those travel lodeges - will definitely look at them.

OP posts:
tullytwo · 17/11/2007 10:28

Yeah I would love to do newquay but they dont post their timetable for a while yet so am scared to leave it too late.

OP posts:
bluefox · 17/11/2007 10:29

Just picked a ramdom date august 2008 at Bristol central travelodge and rooms available for £29. You would probably have to split into two rooms though as a family of five. Still - better than paying £200.

bookofthedeadmum · 17/11/2007 10:31

If your youngest will be 2, they should be able to sleep in a cot in your room - there's a sofa bed plus a truckle bed for children. You should be able to accommodate 3 children/2 adults in one room.

bluefox · 17/11/2007 10:34

Sorry - didnt check June dates. I do hope you can sort something out. It can be terrribly expensive going to weddings - accom, present, new clothes etc.

yurt1 · 17/11/2007 10:37

We always drive between NI and Devon. Find it easier than flying with young kids (we also have 3).

We've done Stranraer and the Holyhead route- Hoylhead you can just about do in a day (although it is a very long drive).

I'd look at travelodge option and go for a shorter time....

Have you checked out Exeter flights? They go into City airport.

perpetualworrier · 17/11/2007 10:45

We had to travel to go to my sister's wedding when my Dc's were 2 & 4 (no where near as bad as your journey, we didn't need to fly), but I still found the whole thing an ordeal.

I have never been so tired as I was at the end of the wedding and although there were loads of people there I would have liked to catch up with, I barely spoke to anyone, I was so busy trying to keep up with where the kids were. (function room was so not child proof). I felt like we'd gone to all the expense and trouble and no-one would have noticed if I wasn't there.

My sister would have been very upset if I'd said I wasn't going to go, as at the time she didn't have children and therefore, had no idea what it was like for me, but in hindsight it would have been much better if we'd visited after the wedding and had a little mini celebration on our own with them. How do you think that would be received?

ChristmasShinySnowflakes · 17/11/2007 10:45

Could you go on your own and leave children at home-would be far easier and cheaper!

rookiemum · 17/11/2007 10:46

Do you all have to go ?

I know its your sisters wedding and all, but given the hideous logistics could you just go, thus making things a lot easier and cheaper.

rookiemum · 17/11/2007 10:47

Oh btw there are quite a few families in the NCT houseswap guide in that area, so it could be worth investigating if any want to swap to NI. I'd happily swap with you as from NI originally but unfortunately we live in Scotland so not much use.

Cross post with Christmas !

hardhat · 17/11/2007 11:20

Have you looked at Exeter airport or would it be possible to drive down to Dublin airport which flies direct to Newquay?

tullytwo · 17/11/2007 11:22

Thank you all so much for your comments - has stopped me feeling like a horrible little sister.

My sister doesnt have kids and I dont think she really appreciates what it will be like plus I will hardly see her as am arriving the day before and then obviously she will head off on honeymoon.

I did contemplate going alone but would still have to take dd as am breastfeeding and dont want to put myself under obligation to have weaned her by then.

Also my boys are very close to my sister - they are only nephews/nieces on my side of the family and I know they are v excited about going.

Yurt1 how do you manage the journey by car - we would also have to get to belfast this end so that would add another couple of hours onto the journey.

I am just terrified of messing up dd's sleeping as I cant cope with that.

Perpetualworrier - I know exactly what you mean about not even being noticed if you werent there. For us we will have to leave the reception at some point to put the kids to bed and one of us will obviously have to stay withthem - reception is a bit of a drive from where we will be staying and I wont be drinking if I am still breastfeeding so it all feels rather pointless tbh.
Also she has a huge circle of friends there who I dont know and who will be far more involved than me.

I just dont know what to do - cant sleep or eat for worrying about it all.

OP posts:
tullytwo · 17/11/2007 11:32

hardhat - dublin is possible but its a 4/5 hour drive at this end as well.

The travelodges look good - will have to book 2 rooms but at least thats only @£60 - just not sure how far out the cheaper one is - think its in the opposite direction that we are going but is half the price of the central one so may be worth it.

Thanks everyone you have calmed me down

OP posts:
CarGirl · 17/11/2007 11:39

I don't think you're being horrible any chance you could offer to pay for flights for your sister & new dh to come and visit you at a later date instead? I think if I felt I had to go I would make it into a 10 day holiday - drive, ferry etc stay overnight somewhere on the way down and somewhere on the way back to break it up and make it more manageable.

TBH you may find your children will keep going at the reception until quite late, it's a one off let them stay up so you get to enjoy it!