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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours, parking and cats

323 replies

bibblebobbleblackbobble · 19/05/2021 10:35

Sorry for epic post. We've had civil but not friendly relations with our next door neighbours since they moved in 7 years ago. There is a two-part issue.

1.We have one car and half of our front garden is a driveway and the other half has plants and small trees on it. Next door has a smaller plot and have mostly a driveway with a hedge and raised planted border. This driveway could easily fit 2 cars if they were normal-sized and you could fit two massive ones if you paid attention (another nearby neighbour with a slightly smaller plot manages two vans). NDNs have two massive cars and a van. They park one car on the drive and the other car plus van on the road. I don't have a problem with this. However, they like to park as close to their house as possible and tended to block us in on our driveway. We would then have to ask them to move their car so we could get out. It was problematic late at night or in emergencies. So we started parking our car on the road in front of our house so that we wouldn't get blocked in. This means they either have to block their own car in or park slightly further away from their house.

  1. NDNs have several cats. One of them comes into our house constantly, shits everywhere, climbs on top of kitchen worktops and eats off plates etc. It just isn't housetrained. We had a cat years ago, so are aware it is possible to largely train a cat out of this behaviour. We have mentioned it, but get brushed off with amusing comments about how cats are our overlords and they go where they like etc. So we ensure that doors are kept shut, no large windows are open on the ground floor, and we spray water at cat when it manages to get in and boot it out. We have adapted our lifestyle to manage with the cat.
On Monday, NDN came to the front door as they have had a genius plan for dealing with the parking issue. I should dig up my front garden and tarmac it so we can park our car on the driveway making enough space for NDN to park one of their vehicles in front of my drive without blocking me in. This was presented as the obvious and only rational thing to do. I said I would discuss with DH but that I was very happy with my front garden as it was. While we were talking, the Cat of Doom shot between our legs, into the kitchen, jumped on worktops and attacked an open tin of tuna I was using when the doorbell rang. Cat cut itself on the tin, neighbour came in to help catch it and took it away. This morning, NDN have put a note through our door asking us to pay £800 vet bill for cat's injuries. DH says pay it (somehow) for a quiet life, but I think we need to take a stand now. AIBU?
OP posts:
AngelsWithSilverWings · 19/05/2021 12:04

You absolutely should not be paying a vets bill.

Also the bill seems ridiculous .My cat actually lost a part of it's tongue in an accident and got a nasty infection from it. My vets bill came to no more than £150 including the antibiotics. It wasn't enough for me to even claim on the pet insurance.

As for the driveway - no way! Your neighbours are idiots.

borderforce · 19/05/2021 12:04

Is this actually for real?

wigjuice · 19/05/2021 12:04

Does your dh have a sign saying 'Kick me' stapled to his arse?

fartasapissed · 19/05/2021 12:05

So "cats are overlords and go where they like", so using their theory, how is it your problem that their cat came into your house and was injured?! Send them a bill for cleaning up after the cat and present them with that, make sure it's more than £800. That'll shut them up!

As for the driveway...I have no words!

zukiecat · 19/05/2021 12:05

I adore cats, but even I wouldn't dream of asking my neighbours to pay the vet's bill if any of mine had gone into someone else's house.

Reminds me of the time when my neighbours dog ran into my house, one of my cats scratched the dog's nose, and he presented me with his vet bill.

No chance! Keep your dog under control!

TulipsTwoLips · 19/05/2021 12:07

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Hoppinggreen · 19/05/2021 12:07

No way
These people will push and push and take the piss even more until you put a stop to it

ineedaholidayandwine · 19/05/2021 12:08

WTF?! DO NOT PAY! They are idiots and CF's. They clearly didn't try hard enough to catch or stop the cat.
As for the drive, hell no! They have 3 vehicles by choice, tough shit if they have to block one of their cars in.
Keep blocking your drive so they can't.

DianeCherry · 19/05/2021 12:09

I'm a cat lover with several cats but I would never ask someone to pay in circumstances like this. In fact I'd be offering to pay to get their carpets cleaned if my cat was shitting in their house.

Besides which, unless they took the cat to an emergency out of hours vet, stitches and an antibiotic shot would come to no more than £150. Emergency vet maybe £350.

And as for your garden, they can fuck right off.

What on earth is your DH thinking??

Baconking · 19/05/2021 12:09

LTB and find someone with sense!

Now I want a tuna sandwich for lunch...

DomPom47 · 19/05/2021 12:10

Sorry but your neighbours are clearly extremely self entitled. I would start trying to distance yourself from them just politics hi bye and short conversations if absolutely necessary. Keep your husband away from them as he sounds like a people pleaser and before you know it they will have him agreeing to everything and anything. I can’t believe people like this actually exist - sounds like a right horror!!!

Moorelewis · 19/05/2021 12:10

Honestly this has got to this stage because you need to be firmer with them. Letting them block you in your drive just gives the impression that you are a pushover. I get that you want good relations with your neighbours... but not when they take the p*! Absolutely do not pay that ridiculous bill and do not even entertain anymore of their ideas about what you should do with YOUR property. Cannot believe they'd even have the cheek to ask. Sorry OP you really need to stand your ground.

Lollee · 19/05/2021 12:11

Your husband needs a backbone! Why would be even consider paying it? You have to pay the bill for someone else's cat when injured whilst entering your home against your will. It is not your responsibility to keep your home car proof to accommodate a neighbours cat.
If your husband capitulates they will forever see him as a soft touch and you will never be free of their control. They will park anywhere, anytime knowing you are both pushover and won't say anything.
It is one thing to be a good neighbour but quite another to be a mug!

Abetes · 19/05/2021 12:11

Absolutely don't pay. Stand up for yourself. They are treating you like a doormat.

StarryNight13 · 19/05/2021 12:14

This thread can’t be serious. A cut lip doesn’t cost £800, my cat had an abscess drained many years ago and that was just over £100.

Justcallmebebes · 19/05/2021 12:15

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Raindancer411 · 19/05/2021 12:15

Lol no way pay it. Their cat should not have come in and wouldn't have is they hadn't of been at your door. If they threaten court, they would be laughed out.

otterbaby · 19/05/2021 12:16

I'm sorry, but this must be a joke. I honestly can't believe that there are people in the world who would accept this behaviour from a neighbour Confused

Also, £800? Are they stitching the cut with thread made of gold?

MuthaFunka61 · 19/05/2021 12:16

Is this a reverse?

MizMoonshine · 19/05/2021 12:17

Tell them (and their cat) to fuck off.

WaterBottle123 · 19/05/2021 12:17

This cannot be real. No one is this soft!!!

QueenArnica · 19/05/2021 12:19

OP, this isn’t acceptable in any way, shape or form. A line must be drawn and now is the time to do it. Just say no, honestly it will never end if you pay that bill.

Newmumtobeee · 19/05/2021 12:20

Don’t get me wrong, I love cats and especially one of my NDNs cats, however, he too shoots into my house and I have to chase him out which I find highly annoying. Your NDNs vet bill is their issue, it’s not as though you set up a trap for the cat to purposely injure themselves. Cats will be cats. Had she not seen it run into you house, she would have been none the wiser as to how it hurt itself. Do not pay and ignore their stupid idea about your driveway, it’s YOUR house and YOUR land, not theirs, maybe they should move

Zzelda · 19/05/2021 12:21

You have absolutely no liability for the cat's injury. You've already said you don't want it in the house, if it gets in because its owner is yakking at the door then, in doing nothing to stop it, the neighbour accepted the risk that the cat would get injured.

stupidstupider · 19/05/2021 12:21

I feel so sorry for you having to sort all of this mess with the neighbours parking and the cats in your house. It must be so difficult right now - are you pregnant with twins/triplets?