Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

New neighbour, terraced house, seems to expect silence

779 replies

Bahhhhhumbug · 19/05/2021 01:34

New neighbour to my empty (atm) terraced property. As soon as moved in started sending me texts (got my number by asking previous neighbour she bought house off but that's a whole other thread) informing me there seems be a tv left on in the property.
She said l hope l didn't mind her texting me and she askedfor my number.
I texted prev. neighbours and queried whether their buyer knew my house was empty and she said yes as she had told her.
I have always got on very well with former neighbour so didn't 'pull her up' on giving out my number as was very out of character and just figured she got caught on the hop in what was a very stressful house move for unconnected reasons to this tale.
So l text back to new neighbour that yes l was aware and it was a radio left on a talking channel as the house was empty but thanks for letting me know.
Next day l get a phone call from her and she's all 'Hi (insert very shortened version of my name, which even the old neighbour never called me) and she tells me again the radio has been on all night (it hasn't its on a timer goes off about 11pm and a lamp comes on) because she ' can hear it ' l was l admit a little frosty with her as l was annoyed at these chummy texts and calls from someone who shouldn't even have my number and shouldn't have even asked for it imo though l accept old neighbour partly to blame.
I had to read between the lines at this point that she found it too loud so l said (without being asked) l would call next day, (which l did) and turn it down and move it to the far wall in the kitchen (no neighbours that side).
I've had another long text off her today after ld done all that saying can l please answer and confirm that l am going to turn it down (she wasnt in when l went round and obliged so obviously at this point didn't know l had already done so
) Whilst there l also checked upstairs l couldn't hear it wafting up the stairs which l couldn't whatsoever and l have good hearing. It is quieter than a normal volume speaking voice and you can only hear it after you've gone two doors into the house, it's about a volume 3 on Alexa equivalent.
Old neighbour when asked said couldn't hear it when l was in there and neither could l.
Shes rang me twice again now and l just ignored her in the hope she will text me and tell me what the fucks wrong now. She did then text saying she wants it switching off as she can still hear it.
She keeps bringing up that she works from home and l get impression she seems to think that means should be almost silence from neighbouring properties. Or maybe because the vendors told her my house was empty she had an expectation of it being completely silent.
If people moved in they would be entitled to watch tv, talk, have radio on etc and all at a higher wolume than one quiet radio. WWYD as she is really getting on my nerves now.
If l was a rude person l might suggest she should've bought a detached house maybe, but lm not.

Subject:
New neighbour, terraced house, seems to expect silence

Message:
New neighbour to my empty (atm) terraced property. As soon as moved in started sending me texts (got my number by asking previous neighbour she bought house off but that's a whole other thread) informing me there seems be a tv left on in the property.
She said l hope l didn't mind her texting me and she askedfor my number.
I texted prev. neighbours and queried whether their buyer knew my house was empty and she said yes as she had told her.
I have always got on very well with former neighbour so didn't 'pull her up' on giving out my number as was very out of character and just figured she got caught on the hop in what was a very stressful house move for unconnected reasons to this tale.
So l text back to new neighbour that yes l was aware and it was a radio left on a talking channel as the house was empty but thanks for letting me know.
Next day l get a phone call from her and she's all 'Hi (insert very shortened version of my name, which even the old neighbour never called me) and she tells me again the radio has been on all night (it hasn't its on a timer goes off about 11pm and a lamp comes on) because she ' can hear it ' l was l admit a little frosty with her as l was annoyed at these chummy texts and calls from someone who shouldn't even have my number and shouldn't have even asked for it imo though l accept old neighbour partly to blame.
I had to read between the lines at this point that she found it too loud so l said (without being asked) l would call next day, (which l did) and turn it down and move it to the far wall in the kitchen (no neighbours that side).
I've had another long text off her today after ld done all that saying can l please answer and confirm that l am going to turn it down (she wasnt in when l went round and obliged so obviously at this point didn't know l had already done so
) Whilst there l also checked upstairs l couldn't hear it wafting up the stairs which l couldn't whatsoever and l have good hearing. It is quieter than a normal volume speaking voice and you can only hear it after you've gone two doors into the house, it's about a volume 3 on Alexa equivalent.
Old neighbour when asked said couldn't hear it when l was in there and neither could l.
Shes rang me twice again now and l just ignored her in the hope she will text me and tell me what the fucks wrong now. She did then text saying she wants it switching off as she can still hear it.
She keeps bringing up that she works from home and l get impression she seems to think that means should be almost silence from neighbouring properties. Or maybe because the vendors told her my house was empty she had an expectation of it being completely silent.
If people moved in they would be entitled to watch tv, talk, have radio on etc and all at a higher wolume than one quiet radio. WWYD as she is really getting on my nerves now.
If l was a rude person l might suggest she should've bought a detached house maybe, but lm not.

Back to top

OP posts:
Bahhhhhumbug · 19/05/2021 16:42

@Tabitha005 thank you, yes it does sound similar and we lined out the backs of the alcoves at either side of the chimney breast upstairs and downstairs with a. extra layer of sound insulating plasterboard. It made a lot of difference and the ndns were very grateful as it made things better but still my ex tenants were making a lot of noise nuisance outside etc.

OP posts:
littlepattilou · 19/05/2021 16:44

@Bahhhhhumbug Yeah YABU. I agree with the majority. It's ludicrous to have the radio on so much with no-one living there. As a few posters have said, she can OBVIOUSLY hear it, or she wouldn't have said anything.

And something doesn't have to be 'loud' to be annoying. Someone's snoring, or TV through the wall can be fairly quiet, but still be irksome, especially if you are trying to concentrate, or get some sleep. You say the radio is only on in the day, but some people sleep in the day if they're work nights, or late evenings. Not everyone sleeps through the night.

In typical fashion though, you have asked 'Am I Being Unreasonable,' and most people have said you ARE, and you're in the wrong. Yet you are telling people you are NOT being unreasonable, and everyone who says you are is 'wrong!' Confused

What is the point in posting for views and opinions, and then telling everyone who disagrees with you that they're wrong, and you are right?

littlepattilou · 19/05/2021 16:45

@Boosterfeat

Think you’re looking a gift horse in the mouth here, a nosey always present neighbour is always best kept on side if your worried about burglaries etc. Much more useful than a radio left on until 11pm, which is ridiculous frankly. Do you really want a pissed off neighbour moaning to all and sundry about an empty house she’s living next to having a radio on to discourage burglaries. That info will get in the wrong hands which I’m sure you must have twigged about. Stop digging your feet in to piss this neighbour off and turn the thing off.
This! ^ Brilliantly put, and some excellent points!
sillysmiles · 19/05/2021 16:48

@Sally872 I get that, but the level of noise is still the same, or less in an unoccupied house.

There is the possibility for the OP to use the neighbour to her advantage in terms of home security, but given that the advice from the Met is to do as the OP is doing, and she is in a high crime/break in area it all seems a bit crazy to place her property at higher risk for an unreasonable (imo) neighbour.

BaileysforBreakfast · 19/05/2021 16:53

OP: AIBU?
Everyone: Yes
OP: Yeah, but...
Everyone: YABU
OP: Yeah, but...

YouShouldSeeMyNewHouse · 19/05/2021 17:02

@sillysmiles - because the perception that a noise is pointless or could be avoided or minimised with a little consideration adds to how aggravating it is. That might sound illogical, but I think I’m right in saying it’s a well-recognised phenomenon. Imagine you were woken up at night by screaming and shouting outside. If it was caused by someone having an accident, you might feel alarmed. If it was caused by inconsiderate neighbours you’d probably feel annoyed. And if it was being done to purposely bother you, you’d most likely feel angry. Same noise, same feeling of tiredness the next day from being woken up, very different emotional responses.

Meirou90 · 19/05/2021 17:10

Have you turned the damned thing off yet OP

HPFA · 19/05/2021 17:16

@sillysmiles

To all the people saying about having the radio on is not ok - what would happen if there was someone living in the house. First thing I do in the morning is turn on the radio, and it stays on all day until I'm settling to watch TV. The radio is a pretty normal household noise I would think.
But someone being in the house makes a lot of difference. It's one thing accepting that neighbours are entitled to live their lives. It's another to have a noise happening for no good reason.
Definately · 19/05/2021 17:19

@Bahhhhhumbug

Yes *@sinkgirl* but l would still have a broken window/door and insecure property, if they thought someone might be in there tthey might just go away and abandon their burglary mission. Much better result. I can't emphasise enough what a bad area it is for break ins and yes they would break in to an empty house.

Oh well who cares about your neighbours peaceful enjoyment of her property as long as you don't have a broken window or door. Never mind the fact they'd have to break the window or door before hearing the radio to know it was on Confused

Definately · 19/05/2021 17:21

If I were your neighbour I'd be so tempted to break your windows myself Blush

Devlesko · 19/05/2021 17:21

Turn the radio off as it isn't doing anything to protect your property.
I doubt burglars would be put off by a radio.
Then block the irritating neighbour.

littlepattilou · 19/05/2021 17:35

@Definately

Oh well who cares about your neighbours peaceful enjoyment of her property as long as you don't have a broken window or door. Never mind the fact they'd have to break the window or door before hearing the radio to know it was on.

Grin

Good point though!

And as a pp said, if the neighbour gets super pissed off, she may start moaning about the OP to people around the area, and it won't take long for it to get about that the house is empty.

Daft. Confused

Far better to just be pleasant and conciliarity, and switch the bloody radio off, and the neighbour could possibly be helpful, and keep an eye on the place/listen out for potential burglars!

Bahhhhhumbug · 19/05/2021 17:36

@littlepatilou
Yet you are telling people you are NOT being unreasonable, and everyone who says you are is 'wrong!' confused. What is the point in posting for views and opinions, and then telling everyone who disagrees with you that they're wrong, and you are right?

Where on earth am l saying any of that and less than two thirds is hardly 'most' people. Over a third agree with me, getting on for 40% last time l looked. Hardly a negligible number of views to be dismissed.
None of my posts have been about who's wrong and who's right just mainly me explaining layout of my house, why l can't do certain things suggested and why l have done certain things.... and oh... defending myself against some of the vitriol on this thread where l have been called this that and the other. That's not people disagreeing with someone that's abuse and hell will freeze over before l stop defending myself against that.

OP posts:
littlepattilou · 19/05/2021 17:42

@Bahhhhhumbug

You really don't like it that most people disagree with you, and think you're wrong do you? Confused

Just turn the bloody radio off, and stop whingeing! Hmm

wewereliars · 19/05/2021 17:47

Your poor neighbour.

If someone breaks in she will be giving them a round of applause. The noise doesn't affect you, so stop banging on about where you can and can't hear it from. You can turn it off so it's not going to bother you.

I am irritated just reading your posts. Turn the radio off FGS , you are so so selfish

Bahhhhhumbug · 19/05/2021 17:48

@Baileysforbreakfast

OP: AIBU?
Everyone: Yes
OP: Yeah, but...
Everyone: YABU
OP: Yeah, but...

More than a third of people think lANBU hardly 'Everyone' Should l and the rest of the third plus just agree with the majority and abandon our views on it.... like a mob rule type policy?

OP posts:
PinkSatinMoon · 19/05/2021 17:48

I don't disagree with you OP, I understand why you're doing this.

Lord help her when actual neighbours move in. 🌸

Bahhhhhumbug · 19/05/2021 17:50

@pinksatinmoon thank you

OP posts:
YouShouldSeeMyNewHouse · 19/05/2021 17:53

You have people agreeing with you, op, but based on the responses on this thread they tend to be of the “Fuck ‘em, your property, do what you like” school of thought. Someone upthread referred to your neighbour “whining her tits off”, a contender for the most obnoxiously aggressive turn of phrase I’ve seen on here.

If I had posts like that championing my cause it might just give me pause for thought!

Cookies2523 · 19/05/2021 18:02

I think you should just answer the decent, sensible people on here. As for the rest - the biggest majority I may add - they are like a bunch of bleating sheep. Tell them to jog on & ignore them.

wewereliars · 19/05/2021 18:02

YouShouldSeeMyNewHouse has it exactly.

Wanna be in my gang, we are a bunch of anti social selfish nightmares. Yay

PrinnyPree · 19/05/2021 18:02

This would drive me bananas just turn it off OP, it's obviously irritating your neighbours, the light should be enough.

Also you don't have it on during the night (when burglaries are most likely to take place) and your neighbour is in all day working from home so that should cover the daytime. The radio serves no purpose except to slowly drive your neighbour insane...

Bahhhhhumbug · 19/05/2021 18:04

@youshouldseemynewhouse there has been lots of aggressive posts disagreeing with me and several nice ones agreeing with me without being detrimental to the neighbour or me. But yes there have been both sorts in both camps. Some people can't make a point or disagree without being abusive sadly

OP posts:
waitingforthenextseason · 19/05/2021 18:07

I don't disagree with you either, OP. Imagine if someone was actually living there again and making normal, everyday noise!

We keep a radio on for the reasons you cite when we're not home. And lights.

I'd tell her to stop contacting you or you'll block her. She's not entitled to silence.

wewereliars · 19/05/2021 18:08

You being abusive OP in subjecting your neighbour to completely unnecessary noise nuisance that she has told you is bothering her.