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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

New neighbour, terraced house, seems to expect silence

779 replies

Bahhhhhumbug · 19/05/2021 01:34

New neighbour to my empty (atm) terraced property. As soon as moved in started sending me texts (got my number by asking previous neighbour she bought house off but that's a whole other thread) informing me there seems be a tv left on in the property.
She said l hope l didn't mind her texting me and she askedfor my number.
I texted prev. neighbours and queried whether their buyer knew my house was empty and she said yes as she had told her.
I have always got on very well with former neighbour so didn't 'pull her up' on giving out my number as was very out of character and just figured she got caught on the hop in what was a very stressful house move for unconnected reasons to this tale.
So l text back to new neighbour that yes l was aware and it was a radio left on a talking channel as the house was empty but thanks for letting me know.
Next day l get a phone call from her and she's all 'Hi (insert very shortened version of my name, which even the old neighbour never called me) and she tells me again the radio has been on all night (it hasn't its on a timer goes off about 11pm and a lamp comes on) because she ' can hear it ' l was l admit a little frosty with her as l was annoyed at these chummy texts and calls from someone who shouldn't even have my number and shouldn't have even asked for it imo though l accept old neighbour partly to blame.
I had to read between the lines at this point that she found it too loud so l said (without being asked) l would call next day, (which l did) and turn it down and move it to the far wall in the kitchen (no neighbours that side).
I've had another long text off her today after ld done all that saying can l please answer and confirm that l am going to turn it down (she wasnt in when l went round and obliged so obviously at this point didn't know l had already done so
) Whilst there l also checked upstairs l couldn't hear it wafting up the stairs which l couldn't whatsoever and l have good hearing. It is quieter than a normal volume speaking voice and you can only hear it after you've gone two doors into the house, it's about a volume 3 on Alexa equivalent.
Old neighbour when asked said couldn't hear it when l was in there and neither could l.
Shes rang me twice again now and l just ignored her in the hope she will text me and tell me what the fucks wrong now. She did then text saying she wants it switching off as she can still hear it.
She keeps bringing up that she works from home and l get impression she seems to think that means should be almost silence from neighbouring properties. Or maybe because the vendors told her my house was empty she had an expectation of it being completely silent.
If people moved in they would be entitled to watch tv, talk, have radio on etc and all at a higher wolume than one quiet radio. WWYD as she is really getting on my nerves now.
If l was a rude person l might suggest she should've bought a detached house maybe, but lm not.

Subject:
New neighbour, terraced house, seems to expect silence

Message:
New neighbour to my empty (atm) terraced property. As soon as moved in started sending me texts (got my number by asking previous neighbour she bought house off but that's a whole other thread) informing me there seems be a tv left on in the property.
She said l hope l didn't mind her texting me and she askedfor my number.
I texted prev. neighbours and queried whether their buyer knew my house was empty and she said yes as she had told her.
I have always got on very well with former neighbour so didn't 'pull her up' on giving out my number as was very out of character and just figured she got caught on the hop in what was a very stressful house move for unconnected reasons to this tale.
So l text back to new neighbour that yes l was aware and it was a radio left on a talking channel as the house was empty but thanks for letting me know.
Next day l get a phone call from her and she's all 'Hi (insert very shortened version of my name, which even the old neighbour never called me) and she tells me again the radio has been on all night (it hasn't its on a timer goes off about 11pm and a lamp comes on) because she ' can hear it ' l was l admit a little frosty with her as l was annoyed at these chummy texts and calls from someone who shouldn't even have my number and shouldn't have even asked for it imo though l accept old neighbour partly to blame.
I had to read between the lines at this point that she found it too loud so l said (without being asked) l would call next day, (which l did) and turn it down and move it to the far wall in the kitchen (no neighbours that side).
I've had another long text off her today after ld done all that saying can l please answer and confirm that l am going to turn it down (she wasnt in when l went round and obliged so obviously at this point didn't know l had already done so
) Whilst there l also checked upstairs l couldn't hear it wafting up the stairs which l couldn't whatsoever and l have good hearing. It is quieter than a normal volume speaking voice and you can only hear it after you've gone two doors into the house, it's about a volume 3 on Alexa equivalent.
Old neighbour when asked said couldn't hear it when l was in there and neither could l.
Shes rang me twice again now and l just ignored her in the hope she will text me and tell me what the fucks wrong now. She did then text saying she wants it switching off as she can still hear it.
She keeps bringing up that she works from home and l get impression she seems to think that means should be almost silence from neighbouring properties. Or maybe because the vendors told her my house was empty she had an expectation of it being completely silent.
If people moved in they would be entitled to watch tv, talk, have radio on etc and all at a higher wolume than one quiet radio. WWYD as she is really getting on my nerves now.
If l was a rude person l might suggest she should've bought a detached house maybe, but lm not.

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OP posts:
frogswimming · 19/05/2021 13:48

If you can hear it very faintly from outside then she must be able to hear it too. Why would she make it up? It's obviously annoying her. Maybe she has better heating than you / your old next door neighbour. Turn it off!!

Bibidy · 19/05/2021 14:12

@SoupDragon

If her neighbour can hear it constantly then that is a fair complaint I'd say, since it's incessant noise all day.

Rather like the "incessant noise" from living in a terraced house with other families then.

Well no not really because the noise of actual living goes up and down. Sometimes it's louder, sometimes things are quiet, sometimes nextdoor will be out etc. A radio at a certain volume for hours at a time is quite different.

Also, I think most people know they need to put up with a bit of sound when they live close to others, but to have to put up with the constant drone of a radio all day long when you know no one even lives nextdoor is annoying.

I personally think that the neighbour probably is being a bit precious and her own house must be silent for her to be able to hear a radio playing, but for the sake of a couple of weeks until some tenants move in, I'd just turn it off.

As others have said, a neighbour on-side and keeping an eye out for you is better than a radio anyway.

Bahhhhhumbug · 19/05/2021 14:25

How many times do l have to say it Is NOT on all day long. Four random times a day for two hours only at a time between 9am and 11 pm so no longer than two hours at a time and eight hours a day..... and no l don't agree that if someone has to practically press up to a door or window outside to hear voices talking from inside then that is in any way too loud for the next door neighbour through their adjoining wall which is their kitchen wall btw and they are small kitchens not kitchens you can sit and relax in.

OP posts:
chocolatesaltyballs22 · 19/05/2021 14:30

You clearly don't want people's advice OP. So as you were.

Horehound · 19/05/2021 14:31

Just switch it off. It's literally doing nothing. You can't accept YABU. Why post?

Merchymor · 19/05/2021 14:31

@Bahhhhhumbug

How many times do l have to say it Is NOT on all day long. Four random times a day for two hours only at a time between 9am and 11 pm so no longer than two hours at a time and eight hours a day..... and no l don't agree that if someone has to practically press up to a door or window outside to hear voices talking from inside then that is in any way too loud for the next door neighbour through their adjoining wall which is their kitchen wall btw and they are small kitchens not kitchens you can sit and relax in.
8 hours a day is too much.

Some people are very sensitive to this kind of noise but not to normal living noises.

And you knowing it upsets her but still persisting makes you seem like you lack empathy.

Tambora · 19/05/2021 14:36

Go round there and turn it off for a day or two without her knowing.

Then see if she still complains. If she does, then you'll know she's either talking rubbish or the noise is coming from somewhere else.

SoupDragon · 19/05/2021 14:38

And you knowing it upsets her but still persisting makes you seem like you lack empathy.

As does the new neighbour who is persistently badgering the OP and unwilling to accept anything other than absolute silence given the OP has already turned it down.

Bibidy · 19/05/2021 14:40

@Bahhhhhumbug

How many times do l have to say it Is NOT on all day long. Four random times a day for two hours only at a time between 9am and 11 pm so no longer than two hours at a time and eight hours a day..... and no l don't agree that if someone has to practically press up to a door or window outside to hear voices talking from inside then that is in any way too loud for the next door neighbour through their adjoining wall which is their kitchen wall btw and they are small kitchens not kitchens you can sit and relax in.
Even if it's not solid all day, there are only 14 hours between 9am and 11pm and your radio is playing for more than half of that time... and if it's random, maybe the neighbour is only getting 20 mins of quiet before it starts up again at times? It is genuinely quite a lot OP, given that she can obviously hear it quite well or she wouldn't have complained.

Hopefully you moving the radio and turning it down has sorted the issue though.

Gingerwhinger1 · 19/05/2021 14:57

@Bahhhhhumbug

How many times do l have to say it Is NOT on all day long. Four random times a day for two hours only at a time between 9am and 11 pm so no longer than two hours at a time and eight hours a day..... and no l don't agree that if someone has to practically press up to a door or window outside to hear voices talking from inside then that is in any way too loud for the next door neighbour through their adjoining wall which is their kitchen wall btw and they are small kitchens not kitchens you can sit and relax in.
What is the point of playing it at 4 random times, if you’re saying it can’t be heard outside. It’s not doing anything besides irritating your neighbour and your deterrent is dependant upon a burglar breaking in at the right time. Turn the radio off and Invest in a burglar alarm. A happy noise sensitive neighbour might come in handy, if someone does try to break in.
Notonthestairs · 19/05/2021 15:13

If it can't be heard outside what is the point?

Get an alarm and foster good relations with your new neighbour.

DeRigueurMortis · 19/05/2021 15:17

OP what you may well be forgetting is how sound reverberates in an empty space.

In a furnished home, sound waves are absorbed by soft furnishings, carpets, sofas etc.

In an empty space they just bounce of walls/floors and even at a low volume the sound can transmit and reverberate much further.

I'd also suggest you think about the difference between "necessary" noise and "unnecessary" noise.

People are far more forgiving about the former - the noises of every day life. In terms of the latter, far less so precisely because there's no justification for it.

I think the "burglar deterrent" doesn't really cut it and even if you believe it would be effective any security measures shouldn't impinge on your neighbour - get a ring camera instead that can be moved to another property after the renovation.

Bahhhhhumbug · 19/05/2021 15:26

Oh for goodness sake. You CAN hear it from outside but only when you stand near the back door and listen quietly and you can hear the voices on the radio.
Also l HAVE got a good burglar alarm with motion sensors.

OP posts:
Horehound · 19/05/2021 15:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Notonthestairs · 19/05/2021 15:29

If you've got a functioning alarm why bother with the radio?

Vivi0 · 19/05/2021 15:31

People like you should only be allowed to buy property/live next to other people like you, and leave the rest of us to live in peace.

Un-fucking-believable.

Bahhhhhumbug · 19/05/2021 15:33

@derigourmortis it's in the kitchen which is fully fitted all the way round with wall and floor cupboards and a tiled floor with mats. The wouldn't be any soft furnishings brought into the kitchen or the equation even if somebody moved in. The kitchen door is kept shut as well so the sound isn't drifting into empty lounge to be magnified. You can hardly hear it in lounge /at front of house (with lined and backed alcove shelving and fitted carpet)

OP posts:
Hardertobreathe · 19/05/2021 15:33

@Cookies2523

Change your phone number, then tell your friends when they move in, to have loud TV, chat loudly & have friends round. Your batshit, controlling neighbour will then know what noise is!
Well aren’t you delightful.
Bahhhhhumbug · 19/05/2021 15:35

There* wouldn't be.... that should've said

OP posts:
LakieLady · 19/05/2021 15:35

There's a world of difference between hearing unavoidable, normal, everyday noise and hearing a radio left on in an empty house for no reason whatsoever. Just turn it off, ffs.

And just because you can barely hear it outside the door is neither here nor there. Sound transmission can be much better between houses than between inside and outside, especially if you have cavity walls but modern, double glazed doors.

I can't hear any noise outside my own house when windows and doors are shut, but I can hear every word spoken next door when I'm indoors, unless I've got my own music/tv/radio on, and even then I can often hear them (just heard Mrs NDN sneeze!).

Upstairs in my bedroom I can hear them talking in their living room better than any noise in my own living room, which is beneath my bedroom. I reckon the chimney breasts on each side of the party wall acts like a giant loudspeaker.

Workingfromhomeishell · 19/05/2021 15:38

@Definately

Having to listen to someone else's radio all day every day for no reason would drive me fucking insane. Imagine the monotonous radio noise always in the background ...never ever getting a break from it. Even if it is quiet clearly she can hear it, why would she lie? YABVU OP, and she sounds really nice, I'm sure she would keep an eye on your property for you if you asked her (and turned the radio off)
Turn the radio off
Bluesheep8 · 19/05/2021 15:39

Also l HAVE got a good burglar alarm with motion sensors.

So what purpose did the radio ever serve then?

DeRigueurMortis · 19/05/2021 15:40

@Bahhhhhumbug

Oh for goodness sake. You CAN hear it from outside but only when you stand near the back door and listen quietly and you can hear the voices on the radio. Also l HAVE got a good burglar alarm with motion sensors.

So why bother with the radio?

You say you intend to sell the house after letting friends rent it so the last thing you'll want to have to declare is a neighbour noise dispute (if your neighbour takes it further).

If you were living in the house and the neighbour was complaining about "normal" noise you'd have my sympathy, but you're subjecting them to radio noise for 8 hours a day that serves no purpose.

That's the key thing that makes you unreasonable - the fact the noise serves no purpose whatsoever and that's why posters are not agreeing with you.

trixies · 19/05/2021 15:41

I wouldn't even want to listen to my favourite music for 8 hours per day, less alone someone else's talk radio. Why did you post, OP?

RavingAnnie · 19/05/2021 15:43

Turn the radio off. YABVVU.

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