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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

New neighbour, terraced house, seems to expect silence

779 replies

Bahhhhhumbug · 19/05/2021 01:34

New neighbour to my empty (atm) terraced property. As soon as moved in started sending me texts (got my number by asking previous neighbour she bought house off but that's a whole other thread) informing me there seems be a tv left on in the property.
She said l hope l didn't mind her texting me and she askedfor my number.
I texted prev. neighbours and queried whether their buyer knew my house was empty and she said yes as she had told her.
I have always got on very well with former neighbour so didn't 'pull her up' on giving out my number as was very out of character and just figured she got caught on the hop in what was a very stressful house move for unconnected reasons to this tale.
So l text back to new neighbour that yes l was aware and it was a radio left on a talking channel as the house was empty but thanks for letting me know.
Next day l get a phone call from her and she's all 'Hi (insert very shortened version of my name, which even the old neighbour never called me) and she tells me again the radio has been on all night (it hasn't its on a timer goes off about 11pm and a lamp comes on) because she ' can hear it ' l was l admit a little frosty with her as l was annoyed at these chummy texts and calls from someone who shouldn't even have my number and shouldn't have even asked for it imo though l accept old neighbour partly to blame.
I had to read between the lines at this point that she found it too loud so l said (without being asked) l would call next day, (which l did) and turn it down and move it to the far wall in the kitchen (no neighbours that side).
I've had another long text off her today after ld done all that saying can l please answer and confirm that l am going to turn it down (she wasnt in when l went round and obliged so obviously at this point didn't know l had already done so
) Whilst there l also checked upstairs l couldn't hear it wafting up the stairs which l couldn't whatsoever and l have good hearing. It is quieter than a normal volume speaking voice and you can only hear it after you've gone two doors into the house, it's about a volume 3 on Alexa equivalent.
Old neighbour when asked said couldn't hear it when l was in there and neither could l.
Shes rang me twice again now and l just ignored her in the hope she will text me and tell me what the fucks wrong now. She did then text saying she wants it switching off as she can still hear it.
She keeps bringing up that she works from home and l get impression she seems to think that means should be almost silence from neighbouring properties. Or maybe because the vendors told her my house was empty she had an expectation of it being completely silent.
If people moved in they would be entitled to watch tv, talk, have radio on etc and all at a higher wolume than one quiet radio. WWYD as she is really getting on my nerves now.
If l was a rude person l might suggest she should've bought a detached house maybe, but lm not.

Subject:
New neighbour, terraced house, seems to expect silence

Message:
New neighbour to my empty (atm) terraced property. As soon as moved in started sending me texts (got my number by asking previous neighbour she bought house off but that's a whole other thread) informing me there seems be a tv left on in the property.
She said l hope l didn't mind her texting me and she askedfor my number.
I texted prev. neighbours and queried whether their buyer knew my house was empty and she said yes as she had told her.
I have always got on very well with former neighbour so didn't 'pull her up' on giving out my number as was very out of character and just figured she got caught on the hop in what was a very stressful house move for unconnected reasons to this tale.
So l text back to new neighbour that yes l was aware and it was a radio left on a talking channel as the house was empty but thanks for letting me know.
Next day l get a phone call from her and she's all 'Hi (insert very shortened version of my name, which even the old neighbour never called me) and she tells me again the radio has been on all night (it hasn't its on a timer goes off about 11pm and a lamp comes on) because she ' can hear it ' l was l admit a little frosty with her as l was annoyed at these chummy texts and calls from someone who shouldn't even have my number and shouldn't have even asked for it imo though l accept old neighbour partly to blame.
I had to read between the lines at this point that she found it too loud so l said (without being asked) l would call next day, (which l did) and turn it down and move it to the far wall in the kitchen (no neighbours that side).
I've had another long text off her today after ld done all that saying can l please answer and confirm that l am going to turn it down (she wasnt in when l went round and obliged so obviously at this point didn't know l had already done so
) Whilst there l also checked upstairs l couldn't hear it wafting up the stairs which l couldn't whatsoever and l have good hearing. It is quieter than a normal volume speaking voice and you can only hear it after you've gone two doors into the house, it's about a volume 3 on Alexa equivalent.
Old neighbour when asked said couldn't hear it when l was in there and neither could l.
Shes rang me twice again now and l just ignored her in the hope she will text me and tell me what the fucks wrong now. She did then text saying she wants it switching off as she can still hear it.
She keeps bringing up that she works from home and l get impression she seems to think that means should be almost silence from neighbouring properties. Or maybe because the vendors told her my house was empty she had an expectation of it being completely silent.
If people moved in they would be entitled to watch tv, talk, have radio on etc and all at a higher wolume than one quiet radio. WWYD as she is really getting on my nerves now.
If l was a rude person l might suggest she should've bought a detached house maybe, but lm not.

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OP posts:
lanthanum · 19/05/2021 11:20

I presume you checked that the timer hadn't been affected by a powercut?

AwaAnBileYerHeid · 19/05/2021 11:21

YABVVVU. Turn the bloody thing off! How selfish and inconsiderate of you. It would drive me nuts.

Moonwhite · 19/05/2021 11:24

This could backfire on you if she starts telling all and sundry that you keep a radio blaring away all day and night because your house is empty...

Just switch it off. Get a light timer instead. If the radio can barely be heard what's even the point?

sundowners · 19/05/2021 11:27

I think you're actually just alerting burglars to the fact this is an empty house by doing something as stupidly obvious as playing the radio all day long! The majority of burglars aren't stupid, they take time to recce a house- and if the radio is the only thing in there anyway- why are you so worried? Just odd all round,.

Moonwhite · 19/05/2021 11:34

Just turn the radio off, accept that it's pointless if it's that quiet anyway, and buy a light timer for your hallway.

Or enjoy your neighbour wars, and potentially becoming known as that weird woman who likes to torture her neighbour by playing a radio to an empty house.

I'm telling you, once things like this become an issue that anyone might speak about to anyone else, they're pointless. Maybe even counter-productive. All she has to do is complain to one person who then goes and tells the local pub that his nice friend is being harassed by the house owner who insists on playing a radio all day because her house is unoccupied. Your new neighbour sounds like a talker to me. If you're that concerned about preventative measures your best one would be to take a bunch of cheap flowers round, apologize, and turn the radio off.

girasol · 19/05/2021 11:35

I can’t believe people are suggesting the radio serves no purpose- it is serving a purpose as a burglar deterrent in an apparently high crime area!
OP is following advice of the Metropolitan Police ffs!!!
“ if you’re out all day, then it’s advisable to use a timer device to automatically turn lights and a radio on at night”

www.met.police.uk/cp/crime-prevention/protect-home-crime/leaving-your-home-checklist/

user1471538283 · 19/05/2021 11:36

I would just turn it off.

Our last house was empty for six weeks and I just went around to check on it every two days. It was still insured so if anything had happened I would be covered. You could also ask her to keep an eye on the property for you instead. A landlord once told me that the cheapest form of insurance was a neighbor who noticed noise. As it is if someone had broken in she wouldn't notice the noise!

We are still in the middle of a pandemic and if she is working from home she is probably quite stressed enough as it is.

Sportsnight · 19/05/2021 11:48

I think your title is a bit misleading. It’s not unreasonable to expect silence from an empty house!

sillysmiles · 19/05/2021 11:50

Personally, I would go around, turn it off, say nothing and let her complain again (which I think she will) and then let her know that it has been off and she must be hearing something else.

I've lived in a mid terrace house. I could hear the neighbour turning on his kettle and the lady the other side turning on her shower. It is part and parcel of terraced housing.
It is unreasonable of anyone to expect silence in when living in an urban environment.

Moonwhite · 19/05/2021 11:50

I can’t believe people are suggesting the radio serves no purpose- it is serving a purpose as a burglar deterrent in an apparently high crime area!

Exactly why she needs to turn it off. If "unhappy woman who clearly likes to communicate" starts complaining about her situation in the supermarket, in the post office, at the hairdressers...

It only takes one enterprising soul to follow her home and listen for a very quiet radio.

LondonMiss · 19/05/2021 11:57

She’s being unrealistic, my previous home was a terraced the noise was constant from either side. A family with 2 teenage boys on one side and a baby I can only assume had something wrong with it as it cried 24/7. It’s all part of living in a terraced property thought! I used to sleep with ear buds in.

Merchymor · 19/05/2021 12:00

I'd be tempted to break in and turn it off myself.

A radio on all day in an empty house would drive me insane.

And going til 11pm is ridiculous, YABVVU

Blossomtoes · 19/05/2021 12:06

If it’s such a quiet radio, why bother having it on? Turn it off, she can obviously hear it or she wouldn’t know anything about it.

YellowFish12 · 19/05/2021 12:13

OMG you are so U

Just turn off the radio! Neighbour can obvs hear it if they complained. It would drive me batty hearing a radio on and off all day when there is no one there.

BrilliantBetty · 19/05/2021 12:17

You sound R to me.

You're going round there to see if it's all ok. And went round the same day as her msg to turn it down and speak to her.

You are being a good neighbour, communicating and trying to find a solution that suits her and you.

Might as well turn it off.

quizqueen · 19/05/2021 12:39

I don't know how she's cope with real people living there!

tenlittlecygnets · 19/05/2021 12:53

If you can't even hear the radio from outside, how will it put burglars off? You'd be better with good locks and an alarm.

And think of the planet!! Please don't leave a radio playing to nobody all day and all evening.

I think you're being very rude. Turn it off.

Teresa90 · 19/05/2021 13:00

l think the OP is being given an unnecessarily hard time here.
She has said several times she went round almost straight away and turned it down and moved it to opposite wall from adjoining .
From last update it seems she is going to go round and see if that is enough to make sufficient difference. I don't see how that is being unreasonable or stubborn or selfish

FleetwoodRaincoat · 19/05/2021 13:06

I had exactly the same issue OP. My neighbour was barking mad. She kept complaining, so I turned it off. She still complained about it! Bonkers.

If I were you I'd turn it off but have more lights on coming on and off during the night.

FleetwoodRaincoat · 19/05/2021 13:06

I had exactly the same issue OP. My neighbour was barking mad. She kept complaining, so I turned it off. She still complained about it! Bonkers.

If I were you I'd turn it off but have more lights on coming on and off during the night.

FleetwoodRaincoat · 19/05/2021 13:06

I had exactly the same issue OP. My neighbour was barking mad. She kept complaining, so I turned it off. She still complained about it! Bonkers.

If I were you I'd turn it off but have more lights on coming on and off during the night.

Gingerwhinger1 · 19/05/2021 13:08

@quizqueen

I don't know how she's cope with real people living there!
Normal household noise, fine, leaving a radio on in an empty house serves no purpose beyond irritating your neighbour. Annoying how people on here seem to think that if you live in terraced housing you just have to put up with whatever shite noise your neighbours decide to make, all in the name of well you've chosen to live there, because obviously everyone can afford to live in a detached farmhouse in a rural location. I've lived in flats and terraced housing, I have always tried to be mindful of my noise. Living in close proximity to others isn't a 'fuck you what do you expect' it's more of a 'I need to be respectful of my neighbours and mindful of the noise I am making' . I think I would have broke in the house myself to turn the bloody thing off by now.
Bahhhhhumbug · 19/05/2021 13:25

Re: The query that keeps being made about what's the point if l can't hear it till two doors in what l meant was when l enter the house from main entrance door then open the internal door from the hall into rest of house.
As said upthread the 'favourite' to be broken into would be through the back door or a back window into the kitchen and out of sight of the main road. The radio is in the kitchen and can be heard very faintly from outside the back door/window if you listen closely,which presumably a burglar would do .
It certainly could be heard if either were opened or broken into and before the motion sensor alarm went off.

OP posts:
Bibidy · 19/05/2021 13:35

[quote girasol]I can’t believe people are suggesting the radio serves no purpose- it is serving a purpose as a burglar deterrent in an apparently high crime area!
OP is following advice of the Metropolitan Police ffs!!!
“ if you’re out all day, then it’s advisable to use a timer device to automatically turn lights and a radio on at night”

www.met.police.uk/cp/crime-prevention/protect-home-crime/leaving-your-home-checklist/[/quote]
But either it can be heard or it can't be heard?

If her neighbour can hear it constantly then that is a fair complaint I'd say, since it's incessant noise all day.

If OP has now turned it down to the point where she's confident her closest neighbour can't hear it then what is the point in keeping it on?

SoupDragon · 19/05/2021 13:44

If her neighbour can hear it constantly then that is a fair complaint I'd say, since it's incessant noise all day.

Rather like the "incessant noise" from living in a terraced house with other families then.

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