‘With science I can have a baby whenever I want’’

[Laughingstock91]

Naomi Campbell had had a baby at 50 - not sure if she’s given birth or it’s a surrogate but her comments really irritated me. She said ‘with science I can have a baby whenever I want’ - do people actually think about the baby? I am sure she’ll be a lovely mum but it makes having a baby just sound like something to tick off on a list when you have decided you have had enough of everything else no matter what age you are. Maybe I am being harsh but if it’s that easy with science, why wait until you are 50?

Aibu?

my parents were in their 40s when they had me and they're both alive and well. from my close group of 7 friends from school who all had much younger parents in their 20's I am the only one who hasn't lost a parent yet.. so I can't get worked up over the age.
she will have plenty of money to pay for her own care should she need it when she's old -i very much doubt the child will be looking after her elderly mother alone in the future..

@parsnipsnotsprouts
Your argument doesn’t really stand up. Why do most people not have children until late 20s early 30s. When clearly biologically it’s best to have children around 20. I mean I guess one is busy doing other important stuff. Or are you saying all the stuff she’s done in her life isn’t that important...

Why is there a magical cut off for women and not men.

They are not selling babies. That makes it sound like they are selling their own biological children. They are selling or providing gestation only.

If the 'gestational service' doesn't result in a 'product' (a live birth, as in a result live human baby) then what are they paying for? They aren't buying a placenta or umbilical cord. Someone who commissions a surrogacy wants a baby or two, the pregnancy is the method not the end goal. What happens when the baby doesn't make it? The woman who miscarries doesn't get the full payment.

And of course it's their biological child, whose else is it? Genetic material can come from anywhere but there is only one mother, the one who gives birth. The 'genetic mother' is only partly involved in conception, she's not doing the pregnancy bit (though it can be the same woman) and the 'social' mother comes afterwards. Mother is a legal term recognising a woman who has given birth (and yes the women who miscarry or have still births are still mothers and yes adoptive mothers are mothers because they are awarded legal parental responsibility). The word mother is obviously being removed and no longer follows 'surrogate'.

Separating a 'mother' from both pregnancy and birth benefits those who don't want to recognise they are not all part of the same process.

I agree that for a normal woman 50 is too old but for an extremely rich woman can get all the help she needs.
Gina davis had twins at 48. Harder than one at 50

Why do we feel the need to judge a woman who wanted a child and has been blessed with one?
The comment about science was made a few years ago during an interview where she also stated that she wanted to have children with a partner because she believed it would be better for the child to have two parents around.
Obviously as time has ticked on she realises that it’s single parenthood or no parenthood and she has chosen single parenthood. Even if she is unable to provide all the care herself as the years pass she can afford to pay for the best of help. No doubt the child won’t be subjected to the neglect that far too many children are subjected to or the poverty that impacts so heavily on so many children

The right thing to say when somebody has a new baby is simply congratulations.

Why is there a magical cut off for women and not men.

Sperm does deteriorate in quality with age. Older men have a greater chance of fathering children with ASD and learning difficulties like ADHD. There isn't a social cut off because these men are fathering children with younger women.

I'm really happy for her and obviously as a very wealthy woman her child will never want for anything...however, she really has no way of knowing what's around the corner. She could get cancer or become ill very quickly. With that in mind, I do personally think 50 is too old to have a baby. It's a shame she couldn't have adopted an older child maybe?

My parents were older (39/40) when I was born and at the time they were considered "old". It can be very tough dealing with elderly parents in your 20s, even if you're wealthy.

All the best to her. Who knows what the future will be like. If people are living much longer, maybe having kids at 50 will be the new normal?

I feel the need to judge because her 'want' is at the expense of others in this situation. Firstly the child, who has been taken away from it's Mother, and then then the surrogate who's body has been commodified in order to provide a child. I would not congratulate someone on the purchase of a new handbag so I don't feel that I would congratulate them on the purchase of a new baby.

Well fair enough as long as you apply the same principle to anybody who has purchased a baby through surrogacy or even IVF.
We could argue that anybody having a child is fulfilling their wants at the expense of the child. No child asks to be conceived and born.

people can google it, as so many babies have been born through surrogacy now the evidence so far suggests these children are actually cherished more and the bond closer between mother and child.
What happens when they are adults and want to know more about the person they grew in and the ethical issues around their birth and then there is the egg donor too assuming it is not the birth givers bio DC.
I wonder if there is an expensive fine as well as losing the income if they tried to keep the baby.

Do we know for a fact there was an egg donor? You can freeze your eggs...

Well fair enough as long as you apply the same principle to anybody who has purchased a baby through surrogacy or even IVF.
IVF isn't comparable IMO.

I wonder if there is an expensive fine as well as losing the income if they tried to keep the baby.

This is a really rare case but a fine I think is the least of her worries, the legal battle a surrogate mother would have for both breech of contract and parental rights would be pretty much the priority I imagine.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/surrogate-mother-pregnant-twins-own-baby-jessica-allen-omega-family-global-san-diego-a8034901.html

Well fair enough as long as you apply the same principle to anybody who has purchased a baby through surrogacy or even IVF.
IVF is not the same at all! Why would you even think that? People are arguing against surrogacy because it leads to exploitation of women and is also not good for the baby to be separated at birth.With IVF you are choosing to have a baby with a bit of help but it is your own body and you keep your own baby! Completely different to putting all the risk on to someone else.

Why is there a magical cut off for women and not men.

Ask Mother Nature? You do know that men don't get pregnant I take it? I don't think anyone is arguing that men should have babies when they are older but it doesn't affect their health like carrying a baby would.

@Totallycluelessoverhere

Why do we feel the need to judge a woman who wanted a child and has been blessed with one? The comment about science was made a few years ago during an interview where she also stated that she wanted to have children with a partner because she believed it would be better for the child to have two parents around. Obviously as time has ticked on she realises that it’s single parenthood or no parenthood and she has chosen single parenthood. Even if she is unable to provide all the care herself as the years pass she can afford to pay for the best of help. No doubt the child won’t be subjected to the neglect that far too many children are subjected to or the poverty that impacts so heavily on so many children

The right thing to say when somebody has a new baby is simply congratulations.

Money does not guarantee that a child won't be neglected. Emotional neglect is neglect, even if the child lives in a mansion and has rooms full of toys and clothes and the best food, medical care and education money can buy. I am absolutely not saying that Naomi Campbell or any other older parent are more likely to be neglectful. However, very wealthy people can often bypass safeguards that keep most of us from doing ill-advised things, like adopting or otherwise taking on an child who is going to need even more attention than most children do, as a result of the separation from the birth parent(s), and not sufficiently changing lifestyle to be able to look after the child personally and build a close bond.

This isn't new. Many female Hollywood stars of the Golden Era adopted children rather than disrupt the all too brief peak part of their careers with pregnancy. It didn't always end well.

@Sparklingbrook

Do we know for a fact there was an egg donor? You can freeze your eggs...

I don't know how these things are done in the US or countries with a large surrogacy 'industry', but in the UK I understand there has to be a genetic connection between the baby and one or both of the 'commissioning' parents.

Any of the following:

1. CM has provided egg, CF has provided sperm.
2. CM has provided egg, donor has provided sperm.
3. CF has provided sperm, donor or (rarely, I believe) surrogate has provided egg.

If none of the above apply, you might just as well be buying a completely unrelated baby on the black market.

As Naomi Campbell is a UK citizen, if she is going to register the baby here, and if there was a surrogate involved, then she will presumably have to have provided the egg, some years ago I imagine.

Whatever pp said she'd "make a lovely mum", she's been accused of violent assault 11 times and convicted 4 times. I don't think that's conducive to being a lovely mum and if she was an average woman it would prevent her from adopting. So tired of wealthy people buying babies.

@littlepattilou - I'm under 50, not over 70 thanks very much!

I guess the kid would rather be born than not. Good luck to her.

she will presumably have to have provided the egg, some years ago I imagine

The success rate of live births from thawed from previously frozen eggs is only 1% according to this BBC article quoting Lord Winston and at 1.8% for pregnancies in the same circumstances quoting HFEA.

I understand the success rate for a thawed embryo is higher, but this would mean, if it applies to NC, that the father would have to have been chosen years ago too. She could have had a sperm donor with sperm from anywhere in the world.

It's also possible she is not genetically related to the child, with an egg from anywhere in the world, and as the biological or birth mother is not NC (as the surrogacy element has been confirmed as note upthread), NC would have to officially adopt the child in the U.K. but in the US it would depend on the State she was in and where her parental responsibility is granted.

NYC legalised commercial surrogacy in January this year I think it was and California is a buyers market. The mother could easily be from Mexico, Ukraine, Russia, Nigeria...

https://www.bbc.com/news/health-51463488

@Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g

I don't know how these things are done in the US or countries with a large surrogacy 'industry'

I found this:

As of Tuesday, the State Department has notified all U.S. diplomatic posts to grant citizenship to children if their parents are married, among other requirements. The child must also have a genetic or gestational tie to one parent.

https://www.axios.com/citizenship-reproductive-children-born-abroad-ec14bf5b-4fd7-4662-a8ce-7c3fa202ce82.html

@irishfeminist

Whatever pp said she'd "make a lovely mum", she's been accused of violent assault 11 times and convicted 4 times. I don't think that's conducive to being a lovely mum and if she was an average woman it would prevent her from adopting. So tired of wealthy people buying babies.

Yes i hope she has dealt with her anger issues. I never even realised i had a temper that i couldnt always control until i had two kids.

It won't really matter to the child if she's too tired to play. Children of A-listers are often raised by nannies. Brad and Angelina's kids used to call their nanny "Mom".