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To be annoyed at people collecting things for free

90 replies

Thisismycon · 18/05/2021 10:06

I’ve given away various things to help others. Nearly every time I give something away I get a message such as “I can collect tomorrow at x time” or “I’m on my way now” aibu to think especially if you’re getting something for free you could ask when’s okay for the person?

OP posts:

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 18/05/2021 10:11

I don't think "I can collect tomorrow at x time" is unreasonable as you can always say you won't be in then. If they are coming "now" and it's not convenient just leave it on the doorstep if you're giving it away and they can collect at their convenience. I've done that loads.


MolyHolyGuacamole · 18/05/2021 11:57 what? They're letting you know when they're free (in referring to the first example) and you can say if it works. Just because it's free doesn't mean they don't have work and other commitments which leaves people with a specific window in which they can collect something?

I assume you're giving things away that you no longer need, not just out of the goodness of you're heart. They're taking something off your hands that would otherwise be dumped


LadyWhistledownsQuill · 18/05/2021 12:00

Why does this annoy you? It's "can I", not "you must be in at X time"

When I give away free things like this I just check what day they'll come and leave them in the porch for them to collect at their convenience.


ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 18/05/2021 12:02

I'm with you on this OP. It's a lack of social graces. Like the people who respond to my ad for rooms to rent who say "I'll be free at 4pm to come and view" - just a sign of the times I'm afraid


Thisismycon · 18/05/2021 12:03

No I wouldn’t have dumped it a lot of the things are well known brands that I could have sold I choose not to though to
Help other. Personally I would ask when’s convenient for the person giving it away if it was the other way round. For example I a lady was going something away the other day she wanted it gone within half an hour so went straight away to
Collect it from hwr

OP posts:

Starlightstarbright1 · 18/05/2021 12:04

I tend to leave stuff on doorstep then i don't care what time they collect.


Thisismycon · 18/05/2021 12:04

Yes of course they have things to do but so does the person giving it away.

OP posts:

Streamingbannersofdawn · 18/05/2021 12:05

Ah, we do this...the trick is to write. Please contact me to arrange a mutually convenient time to collect or Collection after 4pm or similar.

Otherwise just leave the item in the porch/shed/by the gate then you dont need to interact at all.


Whatapalavaa · 18/05/2021 12:06

You're being a bit precious.


KindergartenKop · 18/05/2021 12:06

I have found that you get much better responses on eBay/fb marketplace and charge a few quid for the thing. If people feel it has value they act differently.


CrazyCatsAndKittens · 18/05/2021 12:07

This is why I left our local freecycle group. It just got kind of ridiculous with all the demands of the people who were giving stuff away. There are basic manners but just normal stuff like this is fine.


lottiegarbanzo · 18/05/2021 12:07

Free things can be left outside (if you have any outside space), so no interaction required.

The worst are low-priced things, for which people don't bring the right change.


MolyHolyGuacamole · 18/05/2021 12:08


Yes of course they have things to do but so does the person giving it away.

I don't understand the drama? They let you know a time that works for them and you let them know if it works for you. If it doesn't you give another option. You're giving an unwanted item away, not solving world hunger.

minipie · 18/05/2021 12:14

I have definitely found that some responses are much more polite than others.

There’s a big difference between

“Is this still available? If so please could I collect it one day this week after 5pm”


“I can collect this today”

I’m a lot more likely to give the item to person 1

Please and thank you and a bit of trying to fo what’s convenient for the giver make a big difference


Thisismycon · 18/05/2021 12:17

Must of the messages are I can can collect today with no please or can you keep this for
Me till Friday again no please.

OP posts:

lottiegarbanzo · 18/05/2021 12:22

Then there's 'can you deliver to x location?'

I understand (some of) those though, because when people are desperate, they lose dignity, so have nothing further to lose by making 'cheeky' requests.

Unfortunately there are plenty of hard-nosed CFs out there, making statements and demands for others to comply with, too.


lottiegarbanzo · 18/05/2021 12:24

'I can collect today' is fine though. You can say 'ok, 4-6pm suits me', or 'today's not convenient but tomorrow 4-6pm would work'.

Then half of them don't turn up, of course.


Thisismycon · 18/05/2021 12:25

I have one woman that also asks for nearly everything I post meaning others done get a chance but as it’s first to comment she has to have the items

OP posts:

lottiegarbanzo · 18/05/2021 12:30

Use a different format. You can list things on Marketplace at £0. People DM you, so no-one knows who was first.


rainbowunicorn · 18/05/2021 12:31

Perhaps you should just stop offering things. It looks as if the whole process from start to finish just annoys you. You have moaned about people wanting to pick up that day, wanting it kept for them and also about someone actually wanting too much of the stuff you are giving away.

Just save yourself the angst and stop doing it. It is obviously not for you.


LadyWhistledownsQuill · 18/05/2021 12:32


I have one woman that also asks for nearly everything I post meaning others done get a chance but as it’s first to comment she has to have the items

Is this Facebook? If so, block her acccount. She won't be able to see your posts and will therefore no longer be able to comment, so others get a chance.

rooarsome · 18/05/2021 12:33

I wish people would say "I can collect right now"! Most of the time it's people asking to hold until x date or time, and they don't turn up or message with some flimsy excuse after the time has been and gone.


skybluee · 18/05/2021 12:35

I don't understand the problem - if it doesn't work for you you then just say - actually tomorrow would be a lot better, can you come then at 2pm? etc.


skybluee · 18/05/2021 12:41

Also, it depends what the items are but maybe a good option would be leaving them outside?

I used to do this with trainers. There was a wall near where I used to live. If I put trainers on it then went back half an hour later they'd always gone. This was instead of taking them to a charity shop. It seemed to cut out that portion of it.


ToffeeNotCoffee · 18/05/2021 12:46

I think there's two sides here.

However, what I don't understand is why the person giving the item/s away for free is so precious about it.

You are offloading something you don't want. It's not a gift.

I've used 'Trash Nothing' or 'Freecycle' as it can be know to as a conduit to clear about a dozen unwanted but useable items. Everyone has asked politely if it's available and has thanked me when I've said yes.

I leave it outside for their attention just prior to the time that they are coming to collect it.

There's no need for coming on bended knee saying, 'if it pleases you ma'am' followed by 'thank you so much your unwanted free to collect tat has changed my life for the better'

Some people are coming from ten or so miles away, making it a twenty mile round trip for them. One person who collected an old flat battery, some blunt but useable screwdrivers and an old radio needed to co-ordinate collecting the things with the school run, as that's when they would be in the area.

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