To be annoyed at people collecting things for free

[Thisismycon]

I’ve given away various things to help others. Nearly every time I give something away I get a message such as “I can collect tomorrow at x time” or “I’m on my way now” aibu to think especially if you’re getting something for free you could ask when’s okay for the person?

Nothing wrong with the first message. The person is letting you know they free then. Second one id ignore as they can't be in their way as dont know where I am. Ive left things for free and got things for free so grateful when people collect and for the items ive got. Just done a bike swap as such. I gave away a bike and was given a bike by another lady who I thanked and send a message of dd on it from the back and she showed that to her dds and said it was lovely to see it being used again. Swings and roundabouts. Just filling huge bag for charity now as do find it sometimes easier to do that. Can not give her marks and Spencer beautiful coat away which someone kindly gave me in January when we accidentally misplaced her coat. I said I'd offer it free when I got her coat back and no one is interested so going to charity.

I use the free sites a lot, I give items to the first person who says please.
I also collected a few things for the cat and kids toys. Few plants etc..
I really enjoy it. I always leave stuff outside for collection and made three friends on there as well.
Some people like to ruin things but overall it’s a really positive thing to take part in!

I have realised that it's also always the same people jumping at things for free, and reselling them later on.

Unless it's a genuine charity or fund raiser, I'd either leave things outside, or send them to the tip. It's not worth it, CF are ruining it for everybody.

you have to be quite explicit in your ad I think. For example, must go today, collection only after Xpm. No time wasters. etc. I give people one chance and tell them politely if they don't turn up at the agreed time the item will be passed onto someone else who does want it. Otherwise people really mess you around.

@LadyWhistledownsQuill

Why does this annoy you? It's "can I", not "you must be in at X time"

When I give away free things like this I just check what day they'll come and leave them in the porch for them to collect at their convenience.

I think that "Can I collect at...?" and "I can collect at..." are very different in tone, though, @LadyWhistledownsQuill - the first is a question, but the second seems more dictatorial.

Manners cost nothing, and it takes a fraction more time to write "If this is still available, I'd like it please - could I collect it at X time?"

I don't give my address until a collection time is agreed But, I'm happy for people to suggest a date/time. I just say no and suggest something different if it's not convenient 🤷🏻‍♀️

I would be peeved with the same person grabbing everything. I'd have no qualms about replying "you've had a lot of free things from me recently, I think it's fair to give someone else a chance this time". If the group I was posting in didn't like that I'd be happy to leave!

This wouldn't bother me. I get irked when I give things away and the person never turns up. However I just generally sell it on Ebay or give to charity. But it is irritating that they are have earmarked something they have no intention of collecting and that prevents someone who needed it more going without.

I had two big bags of toddler clothes I was giving away and said I would split it into a few bundles. Someone said she would have it all then never got back to me. So I had to hang onto it on the off chance she would come back.

I think you need to be clearer in your advert or dm about collection, as do I

Can’t see an issue with someone giving you a time they’re available to collect at all, how else will they arrange collection?

@Thisismycon

I have one woman that also asks for nearly everything I post meaning others done get a chance but as it’s first to comment she has to have the items

You should try Olio then. After a person makes (I think) 7 requests, their fees doesn't refresh and it gives other members a chance to see new things posted first

@Thisismycon

I have one woman that also asks for nearly everything I post meaning others done get a chance but as it’s first to comment she has to have the items

Why?????

On the sites I use I choose who gets my items.

If you're worried about one person getting everything, our local site recommends a fair use policy - you decide a time by which people should say if they're interested and then you pick a name at random from that list. Doesn't need to be the first reply. You just need to say so in your post. It'll make the process a little more complicated though.

YANBU, I would ask when would be a good time to collect.

Re definitely implement a fair use policy if possible as pp says.

@minipie

I have definitely found that some responses are much more polite than others.

There’s a big difference between

“Is this still available? If so please could I collect it one day this week after 5pm”

And

“I can collect this today”

I’m a lot more likely to give the item to person 1

Please and thank you and a bit of trying to fo what’s convenient for the giver make a big difference

This. It's just basic manners.

I don't see a problem with stating when you'll be available to collect. No is sitting around twidding their thumbs waiting to be told when to collect things. It's just not being a twat about it. Simples.

Re first to comment

I think it's a fair question, and if it is inconvenient, propose a time or times. What I would think unreasonable is some vague time range similar to a parcel carrier or utilities so called appointment.

There's no need for coming on bended knee saying, 'if it pleases you ma'am' followed by 'thank you so much your unwanted free to collect tat has changed my life for the better'

This is exactly the tone that OP is giving off

The worst ones are you need to hold it for me till x day and I can only give you y price cos of my fuel costs this is for something that's reasonably priced why should I take money off? I said sorry its sold to someone else and got called a bitch

The mirror i held for someone who really needed it for a project is still sat outside waiting for them to collect it a month ago 🤔 I CBA to bring it back in im hoping someone steals it

The fastest way I got rid of old phone cables was left them on a box visible from the road less than a week they were gone all but one which was binned

I gave up on freecycle. So many rude people.

I think we all just word things differently. Personally I always ask/please/thank you etc ... but if you’re that bothered then stop giving things away for free. Especially as the same person is jumping in first so is probably selling on for a profit. I’d rather drop the items at a charity than have someone take advantage of my good nature/intentions.

Your problem is easily solved.

I tend not to give my address out until we've got a collection time window sorted out. If it's something that can get away with being put outside I'll do that (I had some kids' plastic chairs for example). I don't do the first to ask gets type groups and I lurk on our local ones so I've got a feel for who the resident pisstakers are who ask for everything by now.

I’ve just had a woman turn up that didn’t even confirm she definitely wanted the item. I have anxiety just people turning up when I’m not aware panics me. I do usually put outside if I have warning a persons coming.

It annoys me when people don't say thank-you. I recently gave away a large bag of excellent quality, very lightly worn, mostly branded older kids' clothes, including three full sets of school uniform and several pairs of Adidas joggers etc. I put them in my porch for collection and didn't even get a message acknowledging that they'd been picked up. It doesn't take a second to type 'thanks'.

On my freecycle someone posted like this.

First of all, READ the listing properly. If you can't be bothered READING the listing, I won't answer you.

Second, if don't use please and thank you, I'm not even acknowledging you.

I DO NOT DELIVER!!

You can pick up between 8 am and 10 am this SUNDAY only.

No, we do NOT provide parking!

***

It just went on and on and the sad thing was they were just giving away a spatula. Yes, a regular spatula. I get it's frustrating dealing with assholes, but it was just crazy!

spiderlight That’s so true I don’t expect them to worship me just because I’ve given them something for free but saying thank you is too hard. People say oh it’s something you don’t yes that is the case but I could also sell it I’m choosing to help people.

@Thisismycon

I have one woman that also asks for nearly everything I post meaning others done get a chance but as it’s first to comment she has to have the items

This reminds me slightly of an episode of This Country when Kerry leaves a fiver on the pavement and hides round the corner filming it.

Old Len wanders past and puts it in his pocket and Kerry's furious " That's not for you Len! I'm doing a random act of kindness for a stranger on my Facebook! Put it back for fucks sake."