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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder what this school was thinking?

77 replies

stillreallytired · 18/05/2021 06:23

student is forbidden to wear a hat despite suffering hair loss

Is it just me or is this taking uniform rules far too literally?

OP posts:
SadieCow · 18/05/2021 06:27

YANBU, they need to apply some common sense!

Bonnieonthelam · 18/05/2021 06:28

Madness they should allow this young lady to wear a cap if that is what makes her feel better. I’m lost for words.

Keepingitreal14 · 18/05/2021 06:32

I think there are probably better solutions then a cap, she will still stand out as being different as no other child is allowed a cap.

Maybe a wig, or some other head gear that’s less stand out then a cap.

heyyyall · 18/05/2021 06:34

They will be regretting it now. How insensitive and uncaring!

justanotherneighinparadise · 18/05/2021 06:34

I’m going to guess it’s because it’s a cap and hoodie as opposed to a trilby or something. I’m also assuming she has alopecia which the school has determined isn’t serious enough to warrant wearing a baseball cap. I wonder if they’d have allowed her to wear a different head covering? I wonder if it would fade have been allowed if she’d suffered hair loss as a result of chemo for example?

SadieCow · 18/05/2021 06:35

@justanotherneighinparadise it's not alopecia

WishUponAStar88 · 18/05/2021 06:36

www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-derbyshire-57124276

Yanbu and they have allowed her to wear a cap now.

SadieCow · 18/05/2021 06:37

@WishUponAStar88 great update!

RaiseTheBeastie · 18/05/2021 06:38

I think the school are within their rights and are reasonable to not want a student wearing a baseball cap, regardless of medical issues. It's a scruffy, sporty look.

There are other headcoverings she could wear that would be more fitting and in line with their uniform policy.

jay55 · 18/05/2021 06:38

The article says she has CRMO, not just alopecia.

CrazyCatsAndKittens · 18/05/2021 06:39

@Keepingitreal14

I think there are probably better solutions then a cap, she will still stand out as being different as no other child is allowed a cap.

Maybe a wig, or some other head gear that’s less stand out then a cap.

She’s a child. She’s sick. Wigs are itchy and uncomfortable. She’s comfortable wearing a cap. It should be a no brainer here.
eurochick · 18/05/2021 06:40

Is there something in the water in Derbyshire? The police in Derbyshire -dicks about COVID restrictions. This school -dicks. My Nan moved up there from Kent and turned into a total dick.

stillreallytired · 18/05/2021 06:40

But she wanted the cap keeping. I mean personally I’d have wanted something else, but surely with a case like this her comfort is the important thing.

OP posts:
HelloDulling · 18/05/2021 06:41

A cap and a hoodie?

FrippEnos · 18/05/2021 06:42

The school is probably thinking WTAF as according to your article they are still discussing this with the family.

SadieCow · 18/05/2021 06:42

just alopecia.

I take it you don't know any sufferers?

It's a very tough illness to deal with, especially at a young age!

Not sure why it being another reason for hair loss, it should be treated differently?

Hair loss to the sufferer is hair loss, however it occurs.

My son has alopecia, it's had a massive detrimental effect on his life. It's ruined his confidence.

riotlady · 18/05/2021 06:43

YANBU, there needs to be some flexibility for different circumstances, glad they’ve changed their mind

stillreallytired · 18/05/2021 06:44

It says, Ella, from Clowne, has been battling chronic recurrent multifocal osteomyelitis (CRMO) for over two years, a rare and serious disease which causes severe pain and swelling in the bones, and has recently lost large parts of her hair.

OP posts:
CrazyCatsAndKittens · 18/05/2021 06:45

CRMO can be really painful. It’s inflammation of the bones. Poor thing! I think whatever she needs to feel comfortable should be accommodated. I can’t even imagine what’s she’s been through.

Whinge · 18/05/2021 06:45

I understand the hat, but why does she need to wear the hoody?

stillreallytired · 18/05/2021 06:47

I imagine school uniform is uncomfortable if her bones are swelling. And perhaps she wants to cover her head. I must admit I’m not sure on that though, but I can’t understand why they refused to let her wear the hat.

OP posts:
BetterThanKleenex · 18/05/2021 06:50

My friend's son had terminal cancer and wasn't allowed to wear a wig/hat at school. Absolutely atrocious. He had to leave the school because of it and spent his last months at home, instead of at school where he was happy. These uniform rules are so stupid and incredibly ableist.

Zzelda · 18/05/2021 06:53

@RaiseTheBeastie

I think the school are within their rights and are reasonable to not want a student wearing a baseball cap, regardless of medical issues. It's a scruffy, sporty look.

There are other headcoverings she could wear that would be more fitting and in line with their uniform policy.

But any other sort of hat is still going to make her stand out amongst her peers. Would a beanie or a scarf be any better? How does wearing a cap affect any pupil's ability to learn?
JohnsRaincoatLost · 18/05/2021 06:54

@Whinge

I understand the hat, but why does she need to wear the hoody?
I assume it is to cover the back of her head as a cap will only go half way down her head.
overnightangel · 18/05/2021 06:55

@justanotherneighinparadise

I’m going to guess it’s because it’s a cap and hoodie as opposed to a trilby or something. I’m also assuming she has alopecia which the school has determined isn’t serious enough to warrant wearing a baseball cap. I wonder if they’d have allowed her to wear a different head covering? I wonder if it would fade have been allowed if she’d suffered hair loss as a result of chemo for example?
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