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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Identifying a pedophile to his neighbours

637 replies

Bipitybopityboop · 17/05/2021 23:20

If you found out, through work, that a pedophile was going to live on a certain street near you.
Would you anonymously let the neighbourhood know?

Would you want to know?

This could not be traced back to one individual.

OP posts:
Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 18/05/2021 09:27

@HeddaGarbled

Not unless you’re comfortable with them being beaten up by vigilante thugs.
Is there anyone that would actually be worried about a convicted paedophile getting the shit kicked out of them? Confused.
Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 18/05/2021 09:28

They’re not exactly after fully clothed children are they op.

What? Confused

RoseRedRoseBlue · 18/05/2021 09:29

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion actually, yes, especially if I was the person managing his case.

Fieldsofstars · 18/05/2021 09:30

From what I’ve witness on documentary’s about this scenario, they generally are very photo/video related crimes.
Rarely anything done in reality.

I may be wrong though? @Iminaglasscaseofemotion

The risk of them wanting photos of your children is much greater than them having a relationship with them.

Iyswim?

AlternativePerspective · 18/05/2021 09:33

Is there anyone that would actually be worried about a convicted paedophile getting the shit kicked out of them? yes. Two wrongs don’t make a right.

And don’t kid yourself that the kind of person who would go round and kick the shit out of a paedophile is a generally law abiding citizen who is only doing it for the good of the children.

As for the people saying that it’s perfectly understandable to drive a paedophile out of their own home,nimbiism at its finest there then. So you don’t care if they live on another street with children, just as long as it isn’t yours eh?

RoseRedRoseBlue · 18/05/2021 09:34

👏👏👏👏

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 18/05/2021 09:36

So many pedophiles are allowed back into the community with very little supervision, or rules on where they can go.
We had one a few years ago (a woman as it happens), she spent around 18 months in jail, was released and allowed to move into a flat literally 20 feet from a nursery, and primary school. The flat was also above a shop where the local high school children (around 300 years from her flat) go on their breaks. WTF?! I understand its hard to place these scumbags in places where there is no children. That would be impossible, but to let them live basically on the door step of a school is a joke.

pinkearedcow · 18/05/2021 09:37

And don’t kid yourself that the kind of person who would go round and kick the shit out of a paedophile is a generally law abiding citizen who is only doing it for the good of the children

Exactly.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 18/05/2021 09:37

[quote RoseRedRoseBlue]@Iminaglasscaseofemotion actually, yes, especially if I was the person managing his case.[/quote]
Really. Why?

RoseRedRoseBlue · 18/05/2021 09:38

How do you know they have little supervision?

PeriMisabastard · 18/05/2021 09:38

They’re not exactly after fully clothed children are they op

Are you not attracted to people wearing clothes? Do you think the clothes are some magical barrier for children, adults?

Gosh if only rape and sexual assault victims had worn clothes to protect them from predators

theDudesmummy · 18/05/2021 09:39

@bathsh3ba yes exactly. People need to understand that paedophilia and child sex offender are not the same thing. Paedophilia is a mental disorder. Child sex offender is a legal status. Not all child sex offenders are paedophiles and few paedophiles are convicted child sex offenders.

Vigilante justice is very very dangerous. Inevitably the full facts are not known to the vigilantes.

Thise who day that people who suffer from paedophilia are not worthy of the same basic human rights as the rest of us (including to fair justice) are on a very slippery slope.

theDudesmummy · 18/05/2021 09:39

sorry re typo, should read "Those who say..."

RoseRedRoseBlue · 18/05/2021 09:40

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion because it is not conducive to risk management and increases the likelihood of the person disengaging and going off radar. On top of that, it hardly encourages any inclination to change.

MoonCatcher · 18/05/2021 09:40

@ConfusedAdultFemale

I would. Folk round here don’t tolerate dirty little cunts that need castrated. Been two of them run out of town that I know of, community would have ripped them apart if the police hadn’t moved them on.
Where have they moved on to? A child free desert island? And for those two there'll be hundreds others lurking that you don't know about, so I hope you're protecting your children from them as well.
Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 18/05/2021 09:41

@AlternativePerspective

Is there anyone that would actually be worried about a convicted paedophile getting the shit kicked out of them? yes. Two wrongs don’t make a right.

And don’t kid yourself that the kind of person who would go round and kick the shit out of a paedophile is a generally law abiding citizen who is only doing it for the good of the children.

As for the people saying that it’s perfectly understandable to drive a paedophile out of their own home,nimbiism at its finest there then. So you don’t care if they live on another street with children, just as long as it isn’t yours eh?

Who said that Confused. I asked if anyone would be bothered about the well being of a paedophile. Seems a lot of you would. I'm hardly saying I would go kick fuck out them (I would quite like to), but just really couldn't care if someone else did it, law abiding citizen or not. Why would you be bothered? You realise we are talking about people that sexually abuse children, or like to watch children being sexually assaulted, even if they can't do it themselves?
Thunderbird8 · 18/05/2021 09:41

Not sure what’d do.

After the problems a paediatrician had when his/her name +address was put out by a tabloid paper I might hesitate.

However you can be put on the spot.....

I was a teacher and has a child in my class who I knew to be in fostercare. I knew his carers from parents evenings and got on well with them. His care,situation etc was never a problem.

I also went to Church. In the choir was a new member, I knew her well enough to say hello, chat about things. She was in a new relationship with a man known to the Priest and a few others as a convicted paedophile (joe bloggs) . (He’d served his time and had been released) It had been decided that quietly the man would always be quietly shadowed. When on the premises there would always be someone chatting to him and others quietly watching the situation. There were some child based services that he’d been asked bot to attend.

One day I was sent to a multi agency to discuss my pupil’s progress etc.

Sitting in car in the carpark was joe bloggs. Got me wondering.....

I went into the meeting to see the foster carers, social services and the chorister.

What I didn’t know, and had no way of knowing, was that the chorister was the birth mother of the child in my class.

Alarm bells ringing in my head - what should I do? Morally, professionally etc. Do I keep quiet, announce it in the meeting?

I decided to have a quiet word at the end with the foster carers at the end. Turned out they knew, as did social services but were grateful that I’d said. Me - very relieved.

But what you choose to do could well have repercussions one way or another, for those you may know, for those you don’t.

Not easy.

theDudesmummy · 18/05/2021 09:41

@RoseRedRoseBlue that is very true.

Drunkenmonkey · 18/05/2021 09:41

This kind of thing scares me. Some 'peadophiles' have just downloaded illegal content, sometimes without even meaning to through file sharing software. It is a real problem now as the internet is largely unregulated.
Not all peadophiles are the same and it scares me to think what could happen to someone if information like this could be leaked.
Imagine it was your son who had downloaded some content that contained underage girls and he had his head kicked in by some vigilantes, and possibly the whole street subject to absolute terror.
Let it go and let the police do their job. We are all responsible for keeping our children safe and there could be bad people anywhere, so we should always be vigilant. It won't solve anything.

Lookingoutside · 18/05/2021 09:42

What would they do with that information, OP. As in, how would it be useful to them? Are they going to keep the children inside all of the time? Confront him? Even if they decided to just be “vigilant” how exactly would that happen?

I think it’s worth bearing in mind that most sex offenders are never reported never mind convicted of a crime. He very likely isn’t the only one living on their street.

AlternativePerspective · 18/05/2021 09:42

@ Iminaglasscaseofemotion why do you think? Come on it ain’t that hard. Or do you think that there is good violence and bad violence?

Do you think the paedo beater isn’t also.a thug out having a punch-up on a Saturday night or a wife beater as well?

The kind of person who will kick the shit out of another human being is a type. They’re a violent thug who is no better than the paedophile they’re assaulting.

Nietzschethehiker · 18/05/2021 09:42

Like other PP I've often been privy to this information. Its really naive and ignorant to shout it around for the world to hear because like others have said it is safer that the authorities know where they are and can watch. In my roles often what would happen is when they were found out they wouldn't move exactly (because that would again be recorded and the risk of ot all happening again) but they would start temporarily staying elsewhere , sofa surfing. Temporary weeks in a friend's (this was a particular demographic). Straight away they were harder to track. Harder to see if they were grooming.

By patting themselves on the back for protecting the community all the shouters do is make the community that bit more dangerous. Don't kid yourself , it's not to protect others , it's to quietly convince yourself you are a hero. You aren't you are dangerous.

Not to say I have heard the most ridiculous crap spoken in offices about this sort of thing. Half the time what you hear is not accurate or out of context. People with large caseloads can use the wrong name and mean a different person in a conversation and in some of the services I worked in , half your caseload would be child sex offenders so in any given conversation its unlikely you would get enough accurate information eavesdropping to be sure.

Your information is not reliable, the impact of being wrong is through the roof. Go get self validation another way.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 18/05/2021 09:43

[quote RoseRedRoseBlue]@Iminaglasscaseofemotion because it is not conducive to risk management and increases the likelihood of the person disengaging and going off radar. On top of that, it hardly encourages any inclination to change.[/quote]
Change? Mate paedophile don't Change. They can pretend all they like, they will always be a risk to children.

theDudesmummy · 18/05/2021 09:44

It has been my job for many years to care about the well-being of violent offenders including sex offenders. So some people do, yes. If no-one did we would have a very unpleasant and far more dangerous society.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 18/05/2021 09:44

@RoseRedRoseBlue

How do you know they have little supervision?
I have a lot of friends who are police. They may be closely monitored for a while, but not forever.