Being ‘told off’ for minor rule infringements on Facebook groups

[justanotherneighinparadise]

AIBU to just roll my eyes and leave the group? Anyone else just cannot be bothered with the wrists slapping that goes on? I know its childish of me. I know if I sign up and agree ‘the rules’ I should respect the people who moderate the group. But man I feel like some of these people just love the power.

It’s like the only power I have is to think ODFOD and flounce 🤣

Caveat is that I don’t have any real Facebook group that I’m wed to. So to flounce makes no difference to my quality of life.

YABU - get over yourself and just follow the bloody rules
YANBU - these people just LOVE the power trip

🤣

I belong to one that insists on censoring certain words. But these words are not swear words or anything, and are frequently used on the forum in relation to the subject. Every other post has the worlds most diligent admin asking to censor. I enjoy the inevitable uprising that happens fairly often pointing out it’s silly and other groups use these words with no issue. Admins then get defensive and loyal groupies pile on with ‘You ok hun?’ It’s petty. I enjoy it!

Some people really do like the power trip. I joined one where the owners thing was to name and shame. I was furious as my "infringement" wasn't even a thing against the rules, she was just making it up as she went along. Her post started "Delilahbucket, you've only just joined the group ten minutes ago and already you have broken the rules. Where did it all go wrong?" That was her go-to phrase. I pointed out how I had not broken any rules, said she didn't need to be sarky towards other human beings and left the group. She went one step further and started messaging me saying she would leave my comment up to show how awful I was. I didn't reply but did consider "my comment says more about you than it does about me".
Some other groups I've been in the members are brutal, really catty, and encouraged by the group admins. I leave those too.

Facebook groups are the worst, I’m on a single parents one and any comment you make that doesn’t agree with the person gets deleted as “not being supportive”

One of the comments was a woman asking if something was normal for her child and I said basing it on my own it doesn’t seem normal to me and my comment was deleted. Yet she literally asked. I wasn’t rude.

YANBU, especially as some group have dozens of unwritten rules or have power mad admins who are very selective in what they police.

The best one I saw recently was several deletions from people replying to requests for recommendations by giving recommendations (which is allowed), funny rants from admin about waving ban hammers/muting offenders, whilst also letting certain posters endlessly advertise their businesses and 'so called businesses'. I'm a lurker but it feels like the rules apply depending on who you are and whether the admin on duty woke up on the right side of the bed.

I got chucked off a breastfeeding group for liking a patient that said fed is best. I don’t know what they did to the original poster.

@Dogoodfeelgood the same
Happened to me, wonder if it was the same group. For reactive dogs?

I was kicked out of a ladies menopause group for being upset they started letting men/oh’s in without warning. Women were discussing really intimate issues with genitals and sex etc and I just said some warning would be nice. Booted.

I am a member of a Facebook page for a Greek town. We are only allowed to mention positive things including about the airport too . Someone quite rightly said the page was a bit evangelical and not a true representation of the area if only good things are posted and he finds it more helpful to know which places may be best avoided. Well you would think he was devil incarnate. He was told there were absolutely no bad places in the whole town, he was a terrible person for even thinking this and was swiftly banned for being a trouble maker

All the Captain Mainwarings of the world now run Facebook groups.

The Lucy and yak official group has constant drama over its many rules.

Someone was told off for saying Hey guys at the beginning of their post - too gendered.

Someone else told off for asking which dungarees would be more flattering over a c section mum tum - not body positive enough.

Oh yeah, some of them are ridiculous with their littler power trips. The admin of a group I was in once started a colossal fight because someone did not attach a content warning to a video of...a cow walking. Seriously. The cow has previously been mistreated and was now walking to its new home. That was it.

Oh yeah and on a zero waste group I was on somebody was told off for asking the "ladies" of the group what they use during their period and also for using the pride rainbow background for their post (they used it cause they thought it was pretty). I had to leave after that. Sadly the poster apologised instead of telling them to get fucked,

I’m in a specific women’s health off-topic group (I.e. it’s for women from another group who have a particular health issue but is the off-topic group for other unrelated things). I posted a link to the government’s women’s health strategy call for evidence as the consultation wants to hear from as many women as possible (bearing in mind group members often spoke with frustration about their experiences with the medical profession and how badly-understood this health condition can be, I thought it was exceptionally on-point). It was declined under the “no promotions” rule.

I abide by group rules, but was once banned for a week I think because I put a smiley at the end of a sentence. Apparently that was passive aggressive. It wasn't but they decided it was. They just didn't like my question. Crochet groups are full of power tripping leaders.

Banned for bloody emojis!! God you’re well rid of that one.

I do wonder why people actually stay when so many groups are so militant. I guess after a while they must really immerse themselves in them or else they’d surely walk.

I actually got blocked from one.An American group for my dogs breed.Cant think of anything I did wrong apart from posting a pic of my dog where you could see his bits (layed on his back) if it was that then they were v prudish imo

YABU if you don't like the group rules, don't join the group

I'm in a doc martens group, not sure why...got sucked in! You're not allowed to post any pictures with toes. Apparently the admin doesn't like toes. I'm always about someone who admins a footwear group but gets triggered by photos of toes. Just don't look! I couldn't imagine dictating to 1000s of people that they have to put a stupid flower or emoji on their picture of their new sandals

I have never been told off in a FB group ((polishing my halo) but I have seen people hounded off boards by awful people and have left the groups as a result. The one last year was a group dedicated to a particular brand of clothing that allowed items from other brands which would go with the brand or were in a similar look. At any one time about a third of the ads were 'off brand' but it wasn't a problem. Then someone had a massive clear out and advertised about 30 off-brand items all at once. You'd think she'd murdered someone. Poor woman apologised and took them all down but still they went on and on, then the admin posted a poll of whether or not off-brand items should be allowed at all and still people bitched on and on about this one poor woman long after she'd been hounded off the group. I left. As did a couple of others. A shame they were such a nest of vipers: I'd bought some nice things off there.

Oh the 'born in year' baby groups are the worst, followed closely by anything related to baby feeding or weaning. Nut jobs the lot of them! Not just the admins either!

YANBU to reject petty wank-faced rules and the pathetic wankers who write and enforce them.

YABU to use Facebook for anything. They are not a force for good, or anyone's friend.

These 'admin' on most FB groups are ridiculous.

Our local community group has a zero tolerance approach to swearing. You get a 7 day muting for words like shit or bloody, and 3 mutes means you get kicked off. But saying feck or calling someone a cnut is fine ditto hate speech, especially misogyny.

I'm also on a local Freecycle group where the admin is crazy, and bans people for deleting their posts (once an item has been collected) or for advertising it elsewhere. Lunacy!

OP, YANBU.

@Serpenta was it diy on a budget 😂

@LolaSmiles

YANBU, especially as some group have dozens of unwritten rules or have power mad admins who are very selective in what they police.

The best one I saw recently was several deletions from people replying to requests for recommendations by giving recommendations (which is allowed), funny rants from admin about waving ban hammers/muting offenders, whilst also letting certain posters endlessly advertise their businesses and 'so called businesses'. I'm a lurker but it feels like the rules apply depending on who you are and whether the admin on duty woke up on the right side of the bed.

This is so true.

On our aforementioned community group, you can't advertise your business or ask for recommendations. But you can post job vacancies - and most of the vacancies are posted by agencies (ie businesses!) but apparently that's ok because 'it's helping people to get jobs'

They do allow charity posts...I had one rejected because 'it's only local charities'. This one is based 10 miles away and has a collection point in our town. But not local enough. However other posters have got stuff through for national charities!

Oh, and you can advertise a charity event your business is sponsoring, because apparently that doesn't count as business advertising

I was so upset when I was removed from a group, I was actually crying! I wondered what I had done wrong and messages various Admins and they all blanked me. Finally the group creator messaged me to say that it was because my profile pic wasn't of my face (it was a beach).

I added a pic and was re-admitted but I realised I had got too over-invested and barely even look in anymore. Still useful from time to time but it did make me realise our need for belonging and how upsetting it is when we feel cast out.